My husband doesn't want kids

[Anonymous]

This is news to me, as we talked about it 100x during our engagement and I couldn't have been clearer with my plans and he agreed.
Do I break up with him, accept a shitty father (basically he said he will have kids but isn't invested), or accept no family for the rest of my life?
I am 31, only married for eight months, and already devastated. Has anyone else been through this?

[Anonymous]

Break up. At your age and with no kids yet - you have time to meet someone new and start afresh. This would be a deal breaker to me no question. If you really want to be a parent, it's a desire and fulfillment that trumps all else.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation. I stayed with him. He agreed to a kid (and eventually two), but resented me for it. It damaged our relationship. It’s ok now, but it wasn’t until the kids hit late elementary.

[Anonymous]

Divorce him. Tomorrow. You'll never be happy with him.

[Anonymous]

Divorce

[Anonymous]

There is no way he changed his mind in 8 months which means he was lying to you all along and trapped you into marriage.

Divorce. This is a big thing to lie about on his part. It’s only been 8 months, it and run. Do not have kids with this guy thinking he’ll change his mind when he sees how cute they are or sees himself in them.

[Anonymous]

Divorcing at 8 months with no kids should be pretty straight forward. I’d go for it.

[Anonymous]

My older sister did that to her husband. She didnt change her mind, she just lied to him about wanting kids during dating/their engagement. If I were you I'd divorce now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way he changed his mind in 8 months which means he was lying to you all along and trapped you into marriage.

Divorce. This is a big thing to lie about on his part. It’s only been 8 months, it and run. Do not have kids with this guy thinking he’ll change his mind when he sees how cute they are or sees himself in them.

I already told OP to divorce him above. But agree now with your point that he just lied. What the heck happened in just 8 months to do a 180 on something this big?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way he changed his mind in 8 months which means he was lying to you all along and trapped you into marriage.

Divorce. This is a big thing to lie about on his part. It’s only been 8 months, it and run. Do not have kids with this guy thinking he’ll change his mind when he sees how cute they are or sees himself in them.

Agree. I'm sorry OP, this sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way he changed his mind in 8 months which means he was lying to you all along and trapped you into marriage.

Divorce. This is a big thing to lie about on his part. It’s only been 8 months, it and run. Do not have kids with this guy thinking he’ll change his mind when he sees how cute they are or sees himself in them.

Agree. I'm sorry OP, this sucks.

+2. Don’t give up the idea of having kids for him, he is not worth the sacrifice. Lying about it is a huge red flag and if he can change his mind about that overnight he can change his mind about wanting to be married overnight.

You do not want to starting over again in 5 years when he tells you he never really wanted to get married and just went along with it because it seemed like you wanted to. Rip off this band aid now.

[Anonymous]

Divorce, you will be SO GLAD you did! However hard it is now, think how you will feel in 10 years, still with him, no kids, resentful and angry. Cut your losses now. You’re still so young. I married at 34 and had two kids by 38. I’m 10 years older than you now and telling you now, don’t waste your 30s!

[Anonymous]

“I wish you had told me before, but I’m glad you told me now. We both deserve to be happy and have the lives we want. That’s why I will be filing for divorce.”

[Anonymous]

Smart man. You don't want to bring a kid into this world.

[Anonymous]

Get out now.