Why do men go to routine prenatal appointments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It protects mom from being abused by the providers. They are like sharks and if they see she is unaccompanied, they are more likely to abuse her. I had midwives blow off a high-risk condition that could have been fatal to the baby. I brought it up multiple times and they were strategically blowing it off. I was written off as an anxious high-maintenance mommy. If my husband were there I doubt they would have done that. I have PTSD now. It was not worth my husband working, I can tell you that.

They blew you off because you’re loco lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First time parents. If he can make time for it, good for them.

I was of the mentality that most of these appointments are quick and nothing special. Then I got pretty bad news at my first baby's nuchal scan. I was alone but wished that H had come with me that day. It's all routine and quick until it wasn't.

This. We were one and done. My husband came to mine and definitely wanted to be there.

I feel like if we had had baby #2, 3, 4, then we would have had a different perspective and been a bit more low-key with him not coming. You live and you learn!

[Anonymous]

DH came to all of the appointments for 1&2, not for 3 due to Covid rules. He liked hearing the heartbeat and just generally feeling part of everything.

[Anonymous]

Dh came for ultrasounds. He was pretty interested and invoked. I think for our first baby it made it a lot more real for him. Plus he had dumb questions he wanted to ask.

[Anonymous]

For people who got to have an ultrasound with every appointment, how did you get that? I have always been baffled by the fact that the vast majority of the prenatal appointments are just chats, a urine test and Doppler (with an occasional blood test). It seems useless for actually checking on baby’s health, since the heartbeat is the last thing to go if baby is in distress. As for mom’s health, you can do a protein dipstick at home and there are at home pressure cuffs to check for preeclampsia.

So I don’t really see the point of in office visits other than actual imaging(ultrasounds), non stress tests or blood draws, which are not done at every appointment.


In line with that, hubby comes to the apts with ultrasound and hasn’t come to the others.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry your husband hates you, OP. Good luck with your pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

For our first, my DH only went to my amnio. And then for #2 I just took myself to my amnio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the time they are so quick and not much happens. Is it so they can hear the babies heartbeat? In case something bad happens I.e. babies heartbeat isn’t heard? Some appointments seem more important I.e. pregnancy confirmation, ultrasounds and some appointments toward the end as by then it gets hard for some women to drive. My husband would have a hard time taking off for every appointment. He keeps asking if he should come but for me it doesn’t seem needed. Sometimes my appointments are 5-10 mins.

To be supportive and engaged as a co-parent.

Or are you going to start the “nothing you do is right” thing early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people who got to have an ultrasound with every appointment, how did you get that? I have always been baffled by the fact that the vast majority of the prenatal appointments are just chats, a urine test and Doppler (with an occasional blood test). It seems useless for actually checking on baby’s health, since the heartbeat is the last thing to go if baby is in distress. As for mom’s health, you can do a protein dipstick at home and there are at home pressure cuffs to check for preeclampsia.

So I don’t really see the point of in office visits other than actual imaging(ultrasounds), non stress tests or blood draws, which are not done at every appointment.


In line with that, hubby comes to the apts with ultrasound and hasn’t come to the others.

Curious what's going on with urine tests? I've only had them at my first appointment and never since...I get ultrasounds every appointment starting at 20 weeks ( and had one at 6,8,10, 12 weeks) so basically everything but 16 week appointment bc of IVF and being 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there have been problems previously and they want to be there.

+1- this was us. Don’t judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a real divide between people who assume everything will be fine and people who go to every appointment prepared to hear bad news.

Yes. Many people who start as the former end up as the latter as a result of experience.

Absolutely captures it. I had to go alone for the appts during Covid (which was totally reasonable) but I had so much pent up stress and emotions from prior bad news that I burst out crying with joy after one of my ultrasounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people who got to have an ultrasound with every appointment, how did you get that? I have always been baffled by the fact that the vast majority of the prenatal appointments are just chats, a urine test and Doppler (with an occasional blood test). It seems useless for actually checking on baby’s health, since the heartbeat is the last thing to go if baby is in distress. As for mom’s health, you can do a protein dipstick at home and there are at home pressure cuffs to check for preeclampsia.

So I don’t really see the point of in office visits other than actual imaging(ultrasounds), non stress tests or blood draws, which are not done at every appointment.


In line with that, hubby comes to the apts with ultrasound and hasn’t come to the others.

Curious what's going on with urine tests? I've only had them at my first appointment and never since...I get ultrasounds every appointment starting at 20 weeks ( and had one at 6,8,10, 12 weeks) so basically everything but 16 week appointment bc of IVF and being 40.

Oh wow I’m jealous you got so many ultrasounds. That’s fantastic! I’ve only gotten them at 7, 12, 19 (anatomy scan), 22 and I’ll be doing one tomorrow 32 weeks. I’m only 30 but considered high risk due to other health concerns, and I’ve been told by other friends around my age they didn’t even get as many ultrasounds. Again, I just don’t even know what the doctors are looking at in terms of baby’s health if not via ultrasound.
I even just had a boring/routine visit with my doc yesterday and when measuring my baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler he commented “good, strong heartbeat.” I then asked him what about the sound leads him to know if it’s strong vs weak and he confessed they just say that to reassure people. It’s only the beats per minute which matter - and again, that can be done at home.
So I keep coming back to “why no ultrasound/NST at every visit.”

For urine tests though I’ve had one at every appointment. They mainly look at protein content (I assume for preeclampsia - high protein in urine is an indication), and leukocyte count (indication of UTI).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people who got to have an ultrasound with every appointment, how did you get that? I have always been baffled by the fact that the vast majority of the prenatal appointments are just chats, a urine test and Doppler (with an occasional blood test). It seems useless for actually checking on baby’s health, since the heartbeat is the last thing to go if baby is in distress. As for mom’s health, you can do a protein dipstick at home and there are at home pressure cuffs to check for preeclampsia.

So I don’t really see the point of in office visits other than actual imaging(ultrasounds), non stress tests or blood draws, which are not done at every appointment.


In line with that, hubby comes to the apts with ultrasound and hasn’t come to the others.

I was AMA and having twins so scans every week in 3rd trimester as well as heart rate monitoring. Pretty much had a hospital back packed in my car. I knew that with one bad scan, those babies were coming out that day.

[Anonymous]

For support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people who got to have an ultrasound with every appointment, how did you get that?

I can only speak for CWC, but they have the rooms with the big screens for ultrasounds where a tech/nurse does the ultrasound and then each doctor has a small handheld ultrasound machine that is basically an iPad. Both produce images of the baby although certainly the big screen makes it easier for mom and dad to see while the iPad like machine everyone huddles around to see.