Why do men go to routine prenatal appointments?

[Anonymous]

Most of the time they are so quick and not much happens. Is it so they can hear the babies heartbeat? In case something bad happens I.e. babies heartbeat isn’t heard? Some appointments seem more important I.e. pregnancy confirmation, ultrasounds and some appointments toward the end as by then it gets hard for some women to drive. My husband would have a hard time taking off for every appointment. He keeps asking if he should come but for me it doesn’t seem needed. Sometimes my appointments are 5-10 mins.

[Anonymous]

I never could figure this out. It never made sense for me to have both of us take off work, etc to attend appointments. My husband came to the first appointment and then came to the anatomy scan.

[Anonymous]

Hi maintenance baby mama or kind of a wuss.
I can see going for the first one and a sono.

[Anonymous]

First time parents. If he can make time for it, good for them.

I was of the mentality that most of these appointments are quick and nothing special. Then I got pretty bad news at my first baby's nuchal scan. I was alone but wished that H had come with me that day. It's all routine and quick until it wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Mine only did anatomy scan. But some people have medical anxiety, so they want their partner with them.

Even I get irritated with the appointments near the end.

[Anonymous]

I went to most of ours. It was nice to spend some time together and I liked hearing what was happening. It wouldn't have been a big deal to miss them, but I don't have trouble taking off and I've got tons of sick leave so it always was really easy to go to them.

[Anonymous]

My husband only comes to the ultrasounds, which I thought was normal until I talked to others. I really don’t know why any husband would go to random appointments that are literally just bloodwork? Maybe they just have less busy jobs or something?

[Anonymous]

As someone who had a complicated pregnancy during COVID when men couldn’t attend even if they wanted to, I can tell you that almost no one goes to a “routine appt” expecting bad or complicated news, but you’ll be grateful to have the support.

[Anonymous]

Because it is their baby too.

[Anonymous]

Mine went to the ones where we had scans/ultrasounds. He was excited and wanted to see the fetus/baby too.

I needed extra monitoring at the end of my first pregnancy and he didn't go to those because I wanted him to save his leave and they were weekly.

[Anonymous]

I have ultrasounds at every appointment...after years of fertility treatment and repeated loss I want my partner there if things don't go well. Last pregnancy i had fewer ultrasounds and he typically only came to appointments with scans

[Anonymous]

who cares? honestly, if you don't have issues with how often your husband does/doesn't attend what you perceive as routine appointments, there's no reason you need to be all up in their business.

my husband was not allowed to come to a single appointment during COVID (my first pregnancy) and it made him feel sad and disconnected. he came to almost all of the ones during my second pregnancy because he was was excited to be included that time around.

[Anonymous]

It was a nice thing for us to do together for the first baby. He drove me to the appointments as well. We'd needed IVF and had two miscarriages, so I was worried about something going wrong or getting bad news. It was okay overall but we were sent straight to the hospital to have the baby after one of the later appts so yes it was great he was there. Sick leave etc waste a problem at his job with the timing of the appts.

2nd baby was during Covid so he couldn't come to any appts. So obviously it's fine either way - I just couldn't tell if OP and others are judging these couples that go together which seems absurd.

[Anonymous]

You realize what you want and what another person wants is irrelevant.

Your h wants to know what you want, if you don't care tell him so.

Learn to communicate and make your own decisions. It's gonna be a long hard ride if you need to crowd source every decision and if you judge every decision that is different than your own.

[Anonymous]

Maybe there have been problems previously and they want to be there.