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no-kids weddings
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Anonymous
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"I will never get the folks who think that babies, toddlers and young children are welcome at weddings. NEVER."
Go ahead and flame me, but these folks are the attachment parenters. They don't believe in daycare or use it very grudgingly. They do not have date nights with their spouses, and don't enjoy anything other than G rated entertainment. They frankly do not see value in adult only entertainment, so they pretend everyone has the same life philosophies as they do. Blech. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for all the responses. Food for thought. |
Anonymous
| One good reason not to have children at a wedding is that in addition to not knowing when a kid might make noise, you can pretty much count on someone not putting limits on their kids when they should. These parents ruin it for others who would take more care in supervising. |
Anonymous
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I've seen one mom take her toddler to happy hour (!) repeatedly and every time let the kid scream *really loud* for hours. Then, when it was time for weddings, wonder why their child is not invited. Puzzling, isn't it? It is indeed not the child but the parent! |
Anonymous
I would assume that the 15 year old is not invited. S/he is the child of the invitee and a minor. |
Anonymous
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Yes, assume the 15 year old is not invited.
This doesn't pertain to the OP, but my father was insistent that teenagers not be included in my wedding. He owned a bar and grill and knows of people who have lost their liquor licenses due to underage drinking at weddings that they hosted (not at the location of the establishment they had the liquor license for). Reception hall bartenders are notorious for not monitoring the ages of who is consuming at open bar weddings (which mine was). Our wedding was for those 21 and over. |
Anonymous
| The PP who described the "attachment parenters" is dead on. I love my kids more than life itself, but I would never assume that I could bring them everywhere I went, nor would I want to. Weddings with kids can be fun, but there's nothing wrong with having an adult occasion if that's what you want or can afford. I don't understand people who won't go out without their kids or who think that grown up time is somehow selfish or means you're a neglectful parent. I have to admit, it's usually the mom who has that attitude, and sadly, those marriages always seem to end up in trouble. |
Anonymous
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You know it's often keeping the numbers and costs down.
PP: The 15-year-old is not invited! She's a child! |
Anonymous
| Yep, last time I checked, 15 yo's weren't adults yet. |
Anonymous
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I can understand if the wedding is a swanky or intimate affair... but I don't understand why kids aren't allowed to weddings that are not by any means swanky or intimate at all. But a wedding isn't exactly the right place to throw a protest and display civil disobedience... so feel free to huff under your breath but let it go.
Even if there are no kids to ruin the wedding, I'm sure there will be a fat bridesmaid or drunk aunt to steal the show for sure. |
Anonymous
Aha - I think we've stumbled on the real reason why kids aren't invited. It's actually to protect the kids from seeing things they shouldn't see!!! |
Anonymous
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OP, I'm not sure why people are being so bitchy about this. Your post did not strike me as bitchy. To give an alternate viewpoint, I do think that people who have child free weddings should make an effort to find the names of reputable sitters and provide them to people (you don't have to pay). Otherwise you make it pretty much impossible for BFing moms and others who need/want not to be away from children for an extended period (SN kids etc) to attend, unless they want to find a sitter for their infant in an unfamiliar city off of Craig's list, which seems insane to me.
And yes, to me (I'm from a big Southern family that all about well, family) child free weddings are a little cold seeming, but whatever floats your boat. I just attended a friend's wedding with my daughter (and yes I asked and the friend said she was welcome to come and there were a lot of other kids there) and it was great - and the pictures of the little girls at the wedding just beaming at the bride are beyond enchanting. |
Anonymous
Awesome assumption. Fat women ALWAYS create huge scenes at weddings. Signed, -Fat Maid of Honor that didn't make a scene. |
Anonymous
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Gee...Do they have to give a reason why they don't want kids at THEIR wedding? It's their day and they get to pick the dress, venue, menu and the guest list.
It also not their responsibility to find a sitter for you. It's nice when people do this, but it is not required. |
Anonymous
Or, possibly they treasure the opportunity (rare for many of us) for extended family to get together and celebrate a happy occasion. One of my favorite pictures from our wedding is all the cousins, from babies to recent college grads. |