How religion has hurt my bisexual daughter...and our whole family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry. You hit the nail on the head. Those “Christians” are bigots. I pray that they will find God and accept your daughter. God made everyone and loves everyone. Who are they to judge?

+1 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Religion didn’t hurt your child, your child’s choices hurt your child.

I think this is the difficulty of OPs predicament that she cannot see from the perspective of a religious person.

OP wants everyone to elevate her daughter’s choices above their understanding of Biblical teachings. And they are saying no, we can’t just nod in agreement with you when you tell us that sinning is good.

And that’s the issue, OP.
You don’t believe that practicing homosexuality is a sin and therefore it isn’t an issue for you to accept your daughter’s ongoing choice to be in a lesbian relationship.

But if you DID believe that the Bible tells us that this is sinful (as your son and his wife and her family clearly believe) then it would be unthinkable for someone to ask you to not only accept that they will be continuing to choose to sin but you also need to embrace and celebrate the sin! It’s kind of a crazy expectation.

Christians believe we are all sinners and are given grace and forgiven if we confess and repent. But taking pride in our sin and calling sinful nature GOOD and embracing what the Bible says is sin…it’s just not compatible with following Christ.

I promise you that—from their perspective, they are objecting *because* they love her…not because they have deemed HER unworthy of love.
God calls us to be joyful in our obedience to him. They are praying that she will derive joy from confessing her sin and being obedient to God instead of from indulging her own temptations to sin.

I’m not saying that this is MY belief or even that it’s a correct one. Just laying this out in hopes that you, as a non-religious mother of both your daughter and your religious son might be able to get a glimpse into his perspective.

Oh utter BS

Religion is a cult

Bible thumpers are ignorant shits most have never read a bible.
They would rather hate than love

For many Christians, one of the most frequently first-asked questions on this topic is, “What does the Bible say about attraction to someone of the same sex?”

Although its unlikely that the biblical authors had any notion of sexual orientation (for example, the term homosexual wasn't even coined until the late 19th century) for many people of faith, the Bible is looked to for timeless guidance on what it means to honor God with our lives; and this most certainly includes our sexuality.

As New Testament Scholar Daniel Kirk has pointed out, Christians today would do well by the tradition of the apostles and our current witness in the world to recognize that theological abstractions aside, God has already clearly embraced LGBTQ+ people into full communion, and it is now the church’s responsibility to simply honor that reality and rejoice (Luke 15).

[Anonymous]

OP I am sorry
Your daughter is better off without those awful idiots

Judge mental stupidity is not something she needs in her life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Religion didn’t hurt your child, your child’s choices hurt your child.

Im a gay Christian that attends Church regularly

And I'm a vegan meat eater.

And the Evangelical Trumper was found posting above in the thread……

Plenty of LGBTQ+ are Christian and attend church regularly and are accepted and loved. Not all Christian denominations are Right-Wing Evangelicals who want Project 2025.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Religion didn’t hurt your child, your child’s choices hurt your child.

I think this is the difficulty of OPs predicament that she cannot see from the perspective of a religious person.

OP wants everyone to elevate her daughter’s choices above their understanding of Biblical teachings. And they are saying no, we can’t just nod in agreement with you when you tell us that sinning is good.



And that’s the issue, OP.
You don’t believe that practicing homosexuality is a sin and therefore it isn’t an issue for you to accept your daughter’s ongoing choice to be in a lesbian relationship.

But if you DID believe that the Bible tells us that this is sinful (as your son and his wife and her family clearly believe) then it would be unthinkable for someone to ask you to not only accept that they will be continuing to choose to sin but you also need to embrace and celebrate the sin! It’s kind of a crazy expectation.

Christians believe we are all sinners and are given grace and forgiven if we confess and repent. But taking pride in our sin and calling sinful nature GOOD and embracing what the Bible says is sin…it’s just not compatible with following Christ.

I promise you that—from their perspective, they are objecting *because* they love her…not because they have deemed HER unworthy of love.
God calls us to be joyful in our obedience to him. They are praying that she will derive joy from confessing her sin and being obedient to God instead of from indulging her own temptations to sin.

I’m not saying that this is MY belief or even that it’s a correct one. Just laying this out in hopes that you, as a non-religious mother of both your daughter and your religious son might be able to get a glimpse into his perspective.

This is utter BS. This is the Trumper Evangelical Christian and it’s very clear this poster believes this as the poster calls the mother “non-religious” as an insult as the mother likely is very religious. But that’s the BS that Evangelicals would do for decades before Trump came along. Say, “well that’s how this person feels, I was just explaining…I didn’t say I feel that way”…while clearly insulting someone and it is very clear to all they do feel that way. It’s a fig leaf meant to push people around just incase they got uppidy and called a stone a stone.

These kind of talk was done in South Carolina in the 1990s as people wanted the Confederate Flag removed from the SC State Capital. Evangelicals would claim it’s “heritage not hate” to anyone they knew disagreed with them……except it was hate and racism and everyone knew it. The Confederate Flag was put up on the SC State Capitol building to object to the Civil Rights Equality legislation in the 1960s, supposedly for “one year”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fundamental Christians do not espouse the teaching of Christ as the idea that Christ loved all people is a central tenet of Christian theology and belief. He also admonished Christians in His Sermon on the Mount to "Judge not lest ye be judged."

I am so sorry your daughter is being treated shamefully by her siblings. I can only try to imagine her heart break. She sounds like a lovely person and I wish her all the best.

Loving people doesn’t mean supporting accepting and supporting their sins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fundamental Christians do not espouse the teaching of Christ as the idea that Christ loved all people is a central tenet of Christian theology and belief. He also admonished Christians in His Sermon on the Mount to "Judge not lest ye be judged."

I am so sorry your daughter is being treated shamefully by her siblings. I can only try to imagine her heart break. She sounds like a lovely person and I wish her all the best.

Loving people doesn’t mean supporting accepting and supporting their sins.

+1

Love isn't sex.

[Anonymous]

Let’s be absolutely clear here, telling someone to not be themselves for your religion is conversion therapy. It’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sin doesn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be absolutely clear here, telling someone to not be themselves for your religion is conversion therapy. It’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sin doesn’t exist.

If sin doesn't exist, then nothing is wrong. The bolded are contradictory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fundamental Christians do not espouse the teaching of Christ as the idea that Christ loved all people is a central tenet of Christian theology and belief. He also admonished Christians in His Sermon on the Mount to "Judge not lest ye be judged."

I am so sorry your daughter is being treated shamefully by her siblings. I can only try to imagine her heart break. She sounds like a lovely person and I wish her all the best.

Loving people doesn’t mean supporting accepting and supporting their sins.

“Sin” s a human concept and yes judging your loved ones as inferior based on a flawed human conceit is not true love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be absolutely clear here, telling someone to not be themselves for your religion is conversion therapy. It’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sin doesn’t exist.

If sin doesn't exist, then nothing is wrong. The bolded are contradictory.

In religious context, sin is a transgression against divine law or a law of the deities. Each culture has its own interpretation of what it means to commit a sin.

True right vs. wrong is not culturally subjective. It is based on universal principles that stem from our shared humanity. Murder is wrong no matter what your culture or religion says about the matter. So is rape and slavery and animal abuse etc and religion has nothing to do with any of it. In fact, religion is much of the reason why people “wrong” one another in the first place. How many murders have been committed over religion? Too many to count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be absolutely clear here, telling someone to not be themselves for your religion is conversion therapy. It’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sin doesn’t exist.

If sin doesn't exist, then nothing is wrong. The bolded are contradictory.

In religious context, sin is a transgression against divine law or a law of the deities. Each culture has its own interpretation of what it means to commit a sin.

True right vs. wrong is not culturally subjective. It is based on universal principles that stem from our shared humanity. Murder is wrong no matter what your culture or religion says about the matter. So is rape and slavery and animal abuse etc and religion has nothing to do with any of it. In fact, religion is much of the reason why people “wrong” one another in the first place. How many murders have been committed over religion? Too many to count.

There’s really no such thing as a universal right or wrong that applies to all cultures. Every society decides for itself what’s acceptable, and those standards can change over time. Some people lean on religion to define what’s right and wrong, while others just go with what feels like common sense.

The death penalty is basically a form of legal murder. Some cultures, like here in the US, allow it, and even support it. Others cultures ban it completely and see it as totally wrong.

Same with slavery. Today, most cultures agree it’s wrong, but 150 years ago here in the US, society saw it as normal, even necessary.

The point is, ideas of right and wrong aren’t universal. They shift over time and vary across cultures.

So if you believe that homosexuality is perfectly okay, just remember that not everyone sees it that way. Every society decides for itself what it’s willing to accept. You aren’t going to force everyone to accept homosexuality.

[Anonymous]

Actually there are two fairly universal taboos. But they are incest and cannibalism. Make of that what you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be absolutely clear here, telling someone to not be themselves for your religion is conversion therapy. It’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sin doesn’t exist.

If sin doesn't exist, then nothing is wrong. The bolded are contradictory.

In religious context, sin is a transgression against divine law or a law of the deities. Each culture has its own interpretation of what it means to commit a sin.

True right vs. wrong is not culturally subjective. It is based on universal principles that stem from our shared humanity. Murder is wrong no matter what your culture or religion says about the matter. So is rape and slavery and animal abuse etc and religion has nothing to do with any of it. In fact, religion is much of the reason why people “wrong” one another in the first place. How many murders have been committed over religion? Too many to count.

There’s really no such thing as a universal right or wrong that applies to all cultures. Every society decides for itself what’s acceptable, and those standards can change over time. Some people lean on religion to define what’s right and wrong, while others just go with what feels like common sense.

The death penalty is basically a form of legal murder. Some cultures, like here in the US, allow it, and even support it. Others cultures ban it completely and see it as totally wrong.

Same with slavery. Today, most cultures agree it’s wrong, but 150 years ago here in the US, society saw it as normal, even necessary.

The point is, ideas of right and wrong aren’t universal. They shift over time and vary across cultures.

So if you believe that homosexuality is perfectly okay, just remember that not everyone sees it that way. Every society decides for itself what it’s willing to accept. You aren’t going to force everyone to accept homosexuality.

This is not the politics board, the religion board, or any of the slew of other boards on here. This is not a place for you to debate LGBT people.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/651249.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (34) began her first ever bisexual relationship last year. She finally discovered why none of the men she ever dated attracted her, and she is so happy and I am incredibly happy for her. She was so lonely, and she is such a beautiful soul full of love that I am over the moon that she found someone to share her life with.

However, one of my children is ultra religious. He hasn't felt the same way about his sister that he used to be so close to, and it is heartbreaking for all of us, especially my daughter of course. She also pretty much lost her best friend for the same reason. Her best friend loves her, has not shunned her, but tells her how intensely she is praying for her to come to jesus and renounce her lifestyle. It is hurtful and insulting and my daughter no longer wants to be around her very much because she knows how she feels about her.

My son's in-laws are fundamentalist christians that also won't have anything to do with my daughter anymore, even though my daughter-in-law was pretty close to my daughter before she made her announcement. Apparently, there were lots of tears when my daughter told her sister in law, and she begged her to change her ways and find jesus also.

I'm sure none of this is new to anyone here on this forum, but it is all new to me. I had no idea my daughter was attracted to women, but after the initial shock (sorry), I could not do anything but love and support my daughter in the face of a world full of bigots. But this religion stuff has driven a wedge, has divided a once close family, and has broken my heart for both of my children. For my daughter first of all, who has lost her brother in a way, and my son who has been convinced that his sister is not worthy of relationship, of closeness, of human kindness, or of love. That all of the history they shared, the hugs, their sweet brother/sister relationship doesn't mean more than the words in their book. I am devastated.

Is there any advice/wisdom/solace anyone here can give this grieving mother? Is there anything at all I can say to help my daughter?

I worked hard to raise my children with love as their ultimate value, and I succeeded with 3 out of the 4 of them. But my daughter, as she speaks of a future wedding, is already grieving knowing she will not have her baby brother, the person who finally made her a big sister, at her wedding as he thinks she is disgusting.

I'm so sorry that anyone has to go through anything like this.

Maybe post in the Religion Forum if you really want a little insight into their thinking. You are speaking to the crowd in this forum.