DD's friend is wearing a tux to homecoming, but is not a date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Clearly.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for the feedback. I guess I was hoping for some reassurance that straight girls may be wearing tuxes these days too. She said it’s “tux-like” so I’m imagining it’s pants with a cute tux-like top. We live in a somewhat non-conservative area so I’m hoping kids may not care but then again, they’re 9th graders—and can be mean and self absorbed.

I’m actually kind of glad DD had the reaction did—disbelieving me and thinking it’s all ok. If only she had the confidence outside our house to support that. I just have this fear her friend doesn’t feel the same. They met at Girl Scout overnight camp which is such an awesome group of non-confirming girls. I wish she was confident enough to talk w the other girls at school about this or her friend.
I’ll let it go and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

OMG. "Implications"! And they may "follow her"!

Y'all know what year this is, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the feedback. I guess I was hoping for some reassurance that straight girls may be wearing tuxes these days too. She said it’s “tux-like” so I’m imagining it’s pants with a cute tux-like top. We live in a somewhat non-conservative area so I’m hoping kids may not care but then again, they’re 9th graders—and can be mean and self absorbed.

I’m actually kind of glad DD had the reaction did—disbelieving me and thinking it’s all ok. If only she had the confidence outside our house to support that. I just have this fear her friend doesn’t feel the same. They met at Girl Scout overnight camp which is such an awesome group of non-confirming girls. I wish she was confident enough to talk w the other girls at school about this or her friend.
I’ll let it go and hope for the best.

This is really no different than if she were going with a boy as friends, and the possibility that the boy wanted to be more than that potentially existed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

OMG. "Implications"! And they may "follow her"!

Y'all know what year this is, right?

And? If her daughter is straight and wants to date boys, this could potentially be problematic

[Anonymous]

It is pants and a jacket that are more formal. Harris wears a pantsuit every day. Is she gay? I guarantee kids don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

OMG. "Implications"! And they may "follow her"!

Y'all know what year this is, right?

And? If her daughter is straight and wants to date boys, this could potentially be problematic

NP. We’re talking about 14 year old girls here. WTF is wrong with some of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

+1

So let’s assume these girls really are just friends, nothing more. And they just want to go have fun at a dance. Do you think that OP’s daughter should have called off the plans when she learned her friend was going to wear a tux because of the potential implications? Do you think it would be preferable for her to miss the dance entirely and stay home rather than have some other kids think she might be gay? Do you think that LGBTQ kids and straight kids can be friends and just hang out together without other people making assumptions about their romantic preferences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

+1

So let’s assume these girls really are just friends, nothing more. And they just want to go have fun at a dance. Do you think that OP’s daughter should have called off the plans when she learned her friend was going to wear a tux because of the potential implications? Do you think it would be preferable for her to miss the dance entirely and stay home rather than have some other kids think she might be gay? Do you think that LGBTQ kids and straight kids can be friends and just hang out together without other people making assumptions about their romantic preferences?

It depends how her daughter feels about being perceived as gay. If that would bother her, then no she shouldn’t go with this friend. Hanging out and being friends is different than going to a school dance with someone that doesn’t even go to that school. Majority of the tim, when kids bring a date that doesn’t attend that school is when they are actually dating, boy or girl. It generally isn’t fun to attend a school where you only know one person, which is why you typically one see this happening with dating couples. So if OP’s daughter shows up to the dance with a girl that isn’t a known friend, doesn’t go to the school, and is dressed in a tux. People will assume they are dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

I know lots of straight girls who are wearing tuxes and suits for prom, homecoming, etc. It’s quite a trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Agree, no straight girls are wearing a tux- and to homecoming at that. If your daughter is straight and shows up to Homecoming with a girl that no one else knows and she’s in a tux, people will now assume your daughter isn’t straight. It’s not homophobic, it’s reality. If your daughter doesn’t care, cool. But she should be aware there are social implications that may follow her.

+1

So let’s assume these girls really are just friends, nothing more. And they just want to go have fun at a dance. Do you think that OP’s daughter should have called off the plans when she learned her friend was going to wear a tux because of the potential implications? Do you think it would be preferable for her to miss the dance entirely and stay home rather than have some other kids think she might be gay? Do you think that LGBTQ kids and straight kids can be friends and just hang out together without other people making assumptions about their romantic preferences?

It depends how her daughter feels about being perceived as gay. If that would bother her, then no she shouldn’t go with this friend. Hanging out and being friends is different than going to a school dance with someone that doesn’t even go to that school. Majority of the tim, when kids bring a date that doesn’t attend that school is when they are actually dating, boy or girl. It generally isn’t fun to attend a school where you only know one person, which is why you typically one see this happening with dating couples. So if OP’s daughter shows up to the dance with a girl that isn’t a known friend, doesn’t go to the school, and is dressed in a tux. People will assume they are dating.

Got it. So if OP’s DD doesn’t want to risk being perceived as gay, she should call/text her friend and essentially say “sorry, you either have to wear a dress or you can’t come.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

I know lots of straight girls who are wearing tuxes and suits for prom, homecoming, etc. It’s quite a trend.

Post a pic with blurred faces of all the hoco girls in their tuxes. I haven’t seen this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

I know lots of straight girls who are wearing tuxes and suits for prom, homecoming, etc. It’s quite a trend.

Thankfully the kids themselves are much more progressive than the moms posting from the cul de sacs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just experienced my DD's fourth HS homecoming dance, and before that my son's four homecoming dances. Girls who are straight are not wearing tuxedos to homecoming.

My opinion is OP's daughter's friend is not straight. OP's daughter is either not straight as well, or she's quite naive. The latter is a good possibility based on other things OP said about her.

It sounds to me like OP is just trying to protect her daughter from any teasing or nasty comments/gossip. As much as posters here want to collect social justice points and believe kids today are so enlightened and won't say cruel things, that isn't the case.

Call me homophobic, I don't care. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

I know lots of straight girls who are wearing tuxes and suits for prom, homecoming, etc. It’s quite a trend.

Post a pic with blurred faces of all the hoco girls in their tuxes. I haven’t seen this at all.

I hate to tell you, but some of those girls in the short, tight dresses aren’t straight.