Dating is hard post divorce...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want a friend with benefits not a relationship. You sound really selfish. What, see her every few weeks and call it dating? That's not dating, that's a hook up.

and acting all surprised that a 35 year old woman wants more! come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have her own kids?

If she doesn’t have kids, it’s not going to work with her. It’s very normal for 35 year old women to want someone they can spend a lot of time with and settle down with. She’ll also probably want her own kids.

A better option for you is a woman your age (mid 40s) who is an empty nester and has her own life.

It is pretty rare in this area for mid-40s people to be empty nester. Sure, it can happen but most mid-40s people I know (including me) still have kids and some still in elementary school. I am 47--my youngest kid is in fourth grade. Her dad is 51. This is pretty normal where I live. I don't know a single 40s empty nester. Not one.

I was an empty nester at 47. I had three kids and was 29 when my youngest was born. So we are out there but probably in the minority.

Dude, just date your own age. Enough with the 10 year younger 30 somethings. They are in a different stage in life. Divorced, never married, empty nester, doesn’t matter but just be honest and age appropriate. Mid 40s and up are still as attractive as 30 something and you’ll just have more in common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have her own kids?

If she doesn’t have kids, it’s not going to work with her. It’s very normal for 35 year old women to want someone they can spend a lot of time with and settle down with. She’ll also probably want her own kids.

A better option for you is a woman your age (mid 40s) who is an empty nester and has her own life.

It is pretty rare in this area for mid-40s people to be empty nester. Sure, it can happen but most mid-40s people I know (including me) still have kids and some still in elementary school. I am 47--my youngest kid is in fourth grade. Her dad is 51. This is pretty normal where I live. I don't know a single 40s empty nester. Not one.

I was an empty nester at 47. I had three kids and was 29 when my youngest was born. So we are out there but probably in the minority.

Dude, just date your own age. Enough with the 10 year younger 30 somethings. They are in a different stage in life. Divorced, never married, empty nester, doesn’t matter but just be honest and age appropriate. Mid 40s and up are still as attractive as 30 something and you’ll just have more in common.

The average maternal age in dmv was 27 yo , so there are plenty of empty nester 40s women and they are a statistical majority. It’s just this forum is probably a selection of higher income grad degree women who delay having kids till mid-late 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have her own kids?

If she doesn’t have kids, it’s not going to work with her. It’s very normal for 35 year old women to want someone they can spend a lot of time with and settle down with. She’ll also probably want her own kids.

A better option for you is a woman your age (mid 40s) who is an empty nester and has her own life.

It is pretty rare in this area for mid-40s people to be empty nester. Sure, it can happen but most mid-40s people I know (including me) still have kids and some still in elementary school. I am 47--my youngest kid is in fourth grade. Her dad is 51. This is pretty normal where I live. I don't know a single 40s empty nester. Not one.

I was an empty nester at 47. I had three kids and was 29 when my youngest was born. So we are out there but probably in the minority.

Dude, just date your own age. Enough with the 10 year younger 30 somethings. They are in a different stage in life. Divorced, never married, empty nester, doesn’t matter but just be honest and age appropriate. Mid 40s and up are still as attractive as 30 something and you’ll just have more in common.

I’m an empty nester 46 yo woman and as I commented above I date empty nesters 50+ men or never married 40s men. I don’t date men with young kids as we are also not on the same stage in life and I want to travel

[Anonymous]

Stop wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

I think that if you plan to seriously date childless women in their 30s you need to be prepared to have more kids. We are your age and are seeing this unfold with some of our kids’ friends’ dads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have her own kids?

If she doesn’t have kids, it’s not going to work with her. It’s very normal for 35 year old women to want someone they can spend a lot of time with and settle down with. She’ll also probably want her own kids.

A better option for you is a woman your age (mid 40s) who is an empty nester and has her own life.

It is pretty rare in this area for mid-40s people to be empty nester. Sure, it can happen but most mid-40s people I know (including me) still have kids and some still in elementary school. I am 47--my youngest kid is in fourth grade. Her dad is 51. This is pretty normal where I live. I don't know a single 40s empty nester. Not one.

I was an empty nester at 47. I had three kids and was 29 when my youngest was born. So we are out there but probably in the minority.

Dude, just date your own age. Enough with the 10 year younger 30 somethings. They are in a different stage in life. Divorced, never married, empty nester, doesn’t matter but just be honest and age appropriate. Mid 40s and up are still as attractive as 30 something and you’ll just have more in common.

The average maternal age in dmv was 27 yo , so there are plenty of empty nester 40s women and they are a statistical majority. It’s just this forum is probably a selection of higher income grad degree women who delay having kids till mid-late 30s.

I didn’t say they don’t exist. I say that they’re rare in this area. I personally don’t know one of them and I’m currently 47. All of the kids moms at my school are about my age except one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that if you plan to seriously date childless women in their 30s you need to be prepared to have more kids. We are your age and are seeing this unfold with some of our kids’ friends’ dads.

This should be obvious to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have her own kids?

If she doesn’t have kids, it’s not going to work with her. It’s very normal for 35 year old women to want someone they can spend a lot of time with and settle down with. She’ll also probably want her own kids.

A better option for you is a woman your age (mid 40s) who is an empty nester and has her own life.

It is pretty rare in this area for mid-40s people to be empty nester. Sure, it can happen but most mid-40s people I know (including me) still have kids and some still in elementary school. I am 47--my youngest kid is in fourth grade. Her dad is 51. This is pretty normal where I live. I don't know a single 40s empty nester. Not one.

I was an empty nester at 47. I had three kids and was 29 when my youngest was born. So we are out there but probably in the minority.

Dude, just date your own age. Enough with the 10 year younger 30 somethings. They are in a different stage in life. Divorced, never married, empty nester, doesn’t matter but just be honest and age appropriate. Mid 40s and up are still as attractive as 30 something and you’ll just have more in common.

“ Was an empty nester at 47”—key being “was”— My mom was an empty nester at 42 but guess what? I’m 47 right now. I just don’t know anyone who is at this age. Not in my neighborhood or school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

Can’t tell how you spent your time before versus now. Kids of all ages are more mental (talking, checking in, avoiding negative influences) and physical (during, practices, games, homework) parenting time and energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it sounds like you aren't really ready to date. You have fifty fifty custody and on top of that you want to have two days alone where you dont see a girlfriend? That's not going to work. She's stuck being without you when you have custody. Most girlfriends are going to want most of your custody time.

You could maybe find a super busy single mom who is busy too, but then the problem is you have to have the same non custody dates free.

I don’t get the “I need two days alone” a week either.
Did you *need* alone time when married with kids that much as well? That doesn’t really work as a 100% married with kids parent.

[Anonymous]

Oh come on. Lots of us shut down life and disappear a couple times a week. Kids don’t die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

It's what you "should expect while dating as a divorced dad" if you insist on dating women who are a decade younger and at a totally different life stage from you. Just wait until they start making noise about wanting her "own" children. Date divorced women closer to your own age who have their own kids, and you might get something closer to what you want. In the lifestyle department, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it sounds like u maybe just want alone time, so maybe don’t date until you wanna spend your free time with someone.

Maybe he’s one of those introverts or individuals who needs tons of decompression time each day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either date another divorced mom or stay single. Women in their 30s who have never been married and don't have kids are the worst fit for divorced men in their 40s. And I don't know why these women keep dating these men. I have 2 friends who are divorced and both are dating women in their 30s and both are complaining that their gfs are moving too fast

This was my 44 yr old neighbor who moved in next door during his divorce. Within a few months he had a 34 year old girlfriend, within another month or so was complaining about her wanting too much, getting demanding, etc. Six months into the relationship she moved in. A year in they are engaged. I've heard her call his two elementary aged sons, one of whom is SN, "the little shits" with a huge amount of contempt in her voice while sitting on the porch and talking on the phone. Multiple times. I don't think he has any idea, but I don't think he's made much of an effort to have any idea about it either. The weird thing is that they could both do better, if that makes any sense.