Dating is hard post divorce...

[Anonymous]

You’re only recently divorced; it doesn’t sound like you’re ready right now, and that’s okay. Your GF’s needs are normal and reasonable but you’re not in a position to meet them. I’d be very honest with her. Maybe she’ll want to move on, or maybe you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

She doesn't understand what's important to you because she wants HERSELF to be the most important thing to you. I'm similar to you and I've dated women from late 20s to late 30s...way longer than me. As soon as I feel they don't understand they are not the priority in my life (I have kids) the relationship is done. Both my kids play travel sports. Weekends are busy fall and spring. It is what it is. If they can't understand that, that's on them. At the moment I'm dating a women who's early/mid 30s and she's great. Fully understands certain priorities in my life. While she may not be #1, she's a close #2 and she's good with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

Bring her along w/ the teens. SHe can be the cool mom

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you two do not have compatible expectations. Doesn't mean you shouldn't date at all, just maybe not this particular person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

She doesn't understand what's important to you because she wants HERSELF to be the most important thing to you. I'm similar to you and I've dated women from late 20s to late 30s...way longer than me. As soon as I feel they don't understand they are not the priority in my life (I have kids) the relationship is done. Both my kids play travel sports. Weekends are busy fall and spring. It is what it is. If they can't understand that, that's on them. At the moment I'm dating a women who's early/mid 30s and she's great. Fully understands certain priorities in my life. While she may not be #1, she's a close #2 and she's good with that.

Dude why do you do that. You’re going to be a really bad memory for many 30-something women. Just date women with kids or in their 40s.

[Anonymous]

I'm a divorced dad with teens who is dating a divorced mom with teens. We'd like to see each other more often (her parents are also starting to struggle which occupies a lot of her time and energy) but I would not want the pressure OP is describing.

I'm not sure why this is worthy of a thread. Seems pretty simple. OP wants 3 things that generally are not sustainable all at once. He wants to bang someone a decade younger. He wants alone time. And he wants to be an involved dad. OP, pick two. Or as others have said, bang someone in a similar situation as you and you have a decent shot at all 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it sounds like u maybe just want alone time, so maybe don’t date until you wanna spend your free time with someone.

This. You are not into her enough to give up your alone time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

She doesn't understand what's important to you because she wants HERSELF to be the most important thing to you. I'm similar to you and I've dated women from late 20s to late 30s...way longer than me. As soon as I feel they don't understand they are not the priority in my life (I have kids) the relationship is done. Both my kids play travel sports. Weekends are busy fall and spring. It is what it is. If they can't understand that, that's on them. At the moment I'm dating a women who's early/mid 30s and she's great. Fully understands certain priorities in my life. While she may not be #1, she's a close #2 and she's good with that.

Dude why do you do that. You’re going to be a really bad memory for many 30-something women. Just date women with kids or in their 40s.

+1 Unless she doesn't want kids, she won't be good with that much longer.

[Anonymous]

Strange post. It is not expressly stated but clear you are dating someone who does not herself have kids (and might want them). You have reservations about giving up your independence and jumping back into that level of commitment. There are lots of divorced women in a similar position to you and your teens will be off at college leaving you with more time in not very many years too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 43f divorced with kids. Dating a divorced dad in his 40s. I see him 2-3x every other week during my non custodial time. It’s not a ton of time, but it works for us! So I think finding someone with a similar lifestyle is best.

This sounds perfect.

[Anonymous]

I’m a divorced mom. When I tried to tell the guy who ended up becoming my first boyfriend after divorce that I didn’t have time for him because I was busy with kids on the weekend, he insisted on joining in with the kids’ activities and helping out (after we’d dated for awhile and I felt comfortable enough to introduced them of course). If your girlfriend only wants your undivided attention, how can the relationship move to the next level if she’s going to be a stepmom? If she doesn’t get that, then she’s not the one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a divorced dad with teens who is dating a divorced mom with teens. We'd like to see each other more often (her parents are also starting to struggle which occupies a lot of her time and energy) but I would not want the pressure OP is describing.

I'm not sure why this is worthy of a thread. Seems pretty simple. OP wants 3 things that generally are not sustainable all at once. He wants to bang someone a decade younger. He wants alone time. And he wants to be an involved dad. OP, pick two. Or as others have said, bang someone in a similar situation as you and you have a decent shot at all 3.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

She doesn't understand what's important to you because she wants HERSELF to be the most important thing to you. I'm similar to you and I've dated women from late 20s to late 30s...way longer than me. As soon as I feel they don't understand they are not the priority in my life (I have kids) the relationship is done. Both my kids play travel sports. Weekends are busy fall and spring. It is what it is. If they can't understand that, that's on them. At the moment I'm dating a women who's early/mid 30s and she's great. Fully understands certain priorities in my life. While she may not be #1, she's a close #2 and she's good with that.

Dude why do you do that. You’re going to be a really bad memory for many 30-something women. Just date women with kids or in their 40s.

Jealousy is a bad perfume.

[Anonymous]

You want a friend with benefits not a relationship. You sound really selfish. What, see her every few weeks and call it dating? That's not dating, that's a hook up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently divorced (46 m) and I just started dating again. The woman I am seeing(35 ) is great and we have a lot on common. However she wants to spend time together way too often. I have teens (we have 50/50 custody) who are also athletes. So I'm busy with them. On the days I don't have them I want a least a couple of days alone. Since my divorce I have really been enjoying my alone time.

Now I wonder if I should just stay single...I don't know I just feel like at my age I just don't have that feeling where you love someone so much and you can't wait to see them. Life is complicated at this stage in life with teens, retirement planning, college savings, career, elderly parents etc...

I'm just ranting.

Is this what I should expect while dating as a divorced dad?

She doesn't understand what's important to you because she wants HERSELF to be the most important thing to you. I'm similar to you and I've dated women from late 20s to late 30s...way longer than me. As soon as I feel they don't understand they are not the priority in my life (I have kids) the relationship is done. Both my kids play travel sports. Weekends are busy fall and spring. It is what it is. If they can't understand that, that's on them. At the moment I'm dating a women who's early/mid 30s and she's great. Fully understands certain priorities in my life. While she may not be #1, she's a close #2 and she's good with that.

Dude why do you do that. You’re going to be a really bad memory for many 30-something women. Just date women with kids or in their 40s.

Jealousy is a bad perfume.

I’m just having flashbacks to when I was in my 30s … trust me, there’s nothing to be jealous of.