What can I do to feel safer at night?

[Anonymous]

As others have said, this is anxiety. While a break in is certainly possible, most thieves prefer unoccupied houses. And your husband likely couldn’t do much anyway.

[Anonymous]

I have the same problem as the OP.

[Anonymous]

so no advice but can commiserate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, this is anxiety. While a break in is certainly possible, most thieves prefer unoccupied houses. And your husband likely couldn’t do much anyway.

Probably because he isn't home at the time. So, yeah, it's unlikely unless he has access to a guided missile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH recently started traveling for work, leaving late-afternoon Sunday and returning Thursday. I lived alone before I was married, but in apartments. Now that I’m older and have children, I find that I’m not as hearty as I once was! I hear every little noise in the evening and at night. I constantly think I hear lurking outside. I’m hyper aware of our house settling in the evenings and wake at the slightest creak or sound. When DH is home, I don’t notice any of this.

We have an alarm system, but even that doesn’t help because it’s the noises that wake me regardless. We have outdoor lights and cameras, but they don’t relieve my hyper-awareness to the noises I perceive to hear outside. I have a loud fan I keep on when I sleep, but I can still hear (or think I hear) the same creaks and sounds.

What can I do? I wouldn’t exactly say it’s affecting my wellbeing, but it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home when it happens. I’m all ears to any and all advice (pun intended!)

Hi there OP!

Kamala Harris just stated: anyone who breaks into her house “is getting shot.”

Her position is very reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH recently started traveling for work, leaving late-afternoon Sunday and returning Thursday. I lived alone before I was married, but in apartments. Now that I’m older and have children, I find that I’m not as hearty as I once was! I hear every little noise in the evening and at night. I constantly think I hear lurking outside. I’m hyper aware of our house settling in the evenings and wake at the slightest creak or sound. When DH is home, I don’t notice any of this.

We have an alarm system, but even that doesn’t help because it’s the noises that wake me regardless. We have outdoor lights and cameras, but they don’t relieve my hyper-awareness to the noises I perceive to hear outside. I have a loud fan I keep on when I sleep, but I can still hear (or think I hear) the same creaks and sounds.

What can I do? I wouldn’t exactly say it’s affecting my wellbeing, but it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home when it happens. I’m all ears to any and all advice (pun intended!)

Hi there OP!

Kamala Harris just stated: anyone who breaks into her house “is getting shot.”

Her position is very reasonable.

There is a thread about this.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1228897.page

[Anonymous]

Honestly, time will help this too. The more time your husband stays away, the more you will get used to being alone and the house and its noises.

[Anonymous]

You have to identify each noise you hear. That should not be too hard for noises in the house. If it's outside, it depends where you live. Are you hearing wild animals, do you have trees dropping acorns, is it urban or street noise? Then figure out what you are afraid of--someone breaking into your house? Create a plan in an emergency. Or perhaps you need to educate yourself about nocturnal animals and the sounds they make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed how many otherwise intelligent people earnestly think any random pet dog (regardless of breed) is going to defend them from an attacker. It’s pathetically hilarious.

A dog IS a great early-warning system, yes. They’re fantastic for that. But that’s all.

But your pet dog is absolutely no deterrent at all to a person intent on doing you harm. Either the dog will bark and be confused, will flee and hide behind you, or it might attempt
to bite an intruder, at which point it will be quickly dispatched with a weapon the intruder has likely brought with them in anticipation of neutralizing the dog.


Your dog’s greatest contribution to your safety is alerting you to the presence of a stranger. It’s up to you to deal with them. Because an actual criminal isn’t the least little bit scared of your labradoodle or pit bull or german shepherd.

Ha. Tell that to the ass who broke into my house and was dragged around the family room sofa with a chow attached to each of his ankles. He’s incarcerated with two broken ankles and a string of robberies in his past. You have no clue, it truly depends on the dog breed and its inherent desire to protect you. My German Sheppard we had as a child was effective this way as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed how many otherwise intelligent people earnestly think any random pet dog (regardless of breed) is going to defend them from an attacker. It’s pathetically hilarious.

A dog IS a great early-warning system, yes. They’re fantastic for that. But that’s all.

But your pet dog is absolutely no deterrent at all to a person intent on doing you harm. Either the dog will bark and be confused, will flee and hide behind you, or it might attempt
to bite an intruder, at which point it will be quickly dispatched with a weapon the intruder has likely brought with them in anticipation of neutralizing the dog.


Your dog’s greatest contribution to your safety is alerting you to the presence of a stranger. It’s up to you to deal with them. Because an actual criminal isn’t the least little bit scared of your labradoodle or pit bull or german shepherd.

OP is not asking how to be safer, she is asking how to FEEL safer. Dogs are great sources or comfort and companionship.

[Anonymous]

Move to a safer neighbirhiid. It's not normal to feel that unsafe. You could also look into therapy/medication. Perhaps you have and anxiety disorder.

[Anonymous]

Earplugs.

[Anonymous]

Do not get an animal for this, that's the worst advice.

I sleep with ear plugs or white noise when my DH is out of town and I am feeling jumpy. I will also take a melatonin the first night he's gone, because that's usually when I find myself listening to weird noises.

It might also make you feel better to have a weapon under your bed, like a bat/taser/pepper spray. But a gun is a TERRIBLE idea (even worse if you have kids). You're much more likely to shoot your DH coming home early than an intruder. Whereas a bat, someone has to be very close to you.

[Anonymous]

Do you listen or watch True Crime stuff? I'd stop doing that.

[Anonymous]

Have there been break-ins in your neighborhood? Have you ever been robbed? For the average suburbanite, a home invasion break-in just isn’t a realistic concern. CBT might be the way to go.