What can I do to feel safer at night?

[Anonymous]

My DH recently started traveling for work, leaving late-afternoon Sunday and returning Thursday. I lived alone before I was married, but in apartments. Now that I’m older and have children, I find that I’m not as hearty as I once was! I hear every little noise in the evening and at night. I constantly think I hear lurking outside. I’m hyper aware of our house settling in the evenings and wake at the slightest creak or sound. When DH is home, I don’t notice any of this.

We have an alarm system, but even that doesn’t help because it’s the noises that wake me regardless. We have outdoor lights and cameras, but they don’t relieve my hyper-awareness to the noises I perceive to hear outside. I have a loud fan I keep on when I sleep, but I can still hear (or think I hear) the same creaks and sounds.

What can I do? I wouldn’t exactly say it’s affecting my wellbeing, but it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home when it happens. I’m all ears to any and all advice (pun intended!)

[Anonymous]

Get a dog. But honestly you really need anxiety management. Meditation and grounding exercises work well for me.

[Anonymous]

Therapy. Security system. Ring cameras. Motion sensor flood lights. Gun. Dog. Sprinkler system app so you can turn on sprinklers on any intruder.

[Anonymous]

Ugh I’m the same as you with a traveling husband. The alarm and white noise do give me peace of mind, as do additional padlocks on doors. Might it help your peace of mind to get a dog or gun?

Following for advice!

[Anonymous]

Play background music, not just a constant noise but something that changes (spa music, soft pop, chill, instrumental, etc)

[Anonymous]

My spouse works 4-midnight and has done for years so I’m always falling asleep by myself.
We have cameras, I always double check garage and doors are locked , literally, I’ll do it after dinner then do it again before bed.
We also have a dog which gives me a sense of comfort.
No alarm system. I think they’re a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

At some point, additional layers of security or vigilance are not going change whether or not you are safe. Personally, I have an alarm system that I don’t set every single night, but I always set it when I’m home alone. It allows me to tell my brain that it’s off duty and it’s time for sleep.

The important factor is that you need to somehow address your anxiety. There’s a good chance that if it’s mild and pretty much limited to these nights that you could address it yourself through a self-help book or reading online. You need some sort of self talk for your brain’s hypervigilance at night when your husband‘s not home.

[Anonymous]

Get a dog

[Anonymous]

I’m always amazed how many otherwise intelligent people earnestly think any random pet dog (regardless of breed) is going to defend them from an attacker. It’s pathetically hilarious.

A dog IS a great early-warning system, yes. They’re fantastic for that. But that’s all.

But your pet dog is absolutely no deterrent at all to a person intent on doing you harm. Either the dog will bark and be confused, will flee and hide behind you, or it might attempt
to bite an intruder, at which point it will be quickly dispatched with a weapon the intruder has likely brought with them in anticipation of neutralizing the dog.


Your dog’s greatest contribution to your safety is alerting you to the presence of a stranger. It’s up to you to deal with them. Because an actual criminal isn’t the least little bit scared of your labradoodle or pit bull or german shepherd.

[Anonymous]

Stop watching Fox News.

[Anonymous]

What kind of security system to you have? Work with them to beef up layers of security.

[Anonymous]

Krav Ma Ga (sp?). Sawed off shotgun helps too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed how many otherwise intelligent people earnestly think any random pet dog (regardless of breed) is going to defend them from an attacker. It’s pathetically hilarious.

A dog IS a great early-warning system, yes. They’re fantastic for that. But that’s all.

But your pet dog is absolutely no deterrent at all to a person intent on doing you harm. Either the dog will bark and be confused, will flee and hide behind you, or it might attempt
to bite an intruder, at which point it will be quickly dispatched with a weapon the intruder has likely brought with them in anticipation of neutralizing the dog.


Your dog’s greatest contribution to your safety is alerting you to the presence of a stranger. It’s up to you to deal with them. Because an actual criminal isn’t the least little bit scared of your labradoodle or pit bull or german shepherd.

Inaccurate statement--just ask a police officer.

[Anonymous]

I sleep better when my husband isn't there.

[Anonymous]

Get a cat or dog. Then you'll attribute the night time noises to the animal.