Dealing with other people shaming you and judging you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still feel bad that I am going to tell people where he is going and they are going to judge.

Tell us more, OP. Do you have reason to believe they will shame and judge? People who shame and judge tend to be rude and provincial. Does this describe them? And if it does, why would you not realize that the problem is theirs, not yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might be surprised what merit you can get oos or at privates that aren't T50 or whatever.

I found several little gems for my daughter across the country.

There is a FB group for parents of awesomely average students that might be of help.

Also, there is NO SHAME in going to community college for a little while. Seriously. It saves money. In some states, it is free.

Best of luck. My child who didn't even get a 2.5 in HS managed to get into 4 schools and is very happy with the choices she had. She is getting special support at her school and her attitude towards schoolwork is so much better already.

I've looked into this and didn't find anything that fit what ds wants and would give enough merit. He really wants a big school, doesn't want midwest...So there were limiting factors. And he didn't want to apply to ASU or Alabama or other big state schools that would likely give him some merit because he doesn't like where they are either.

OK, I think you are going to have to go a step below the flagships. THAT is the issue.

Our flagship is his reach. Whatever else is going to be "below", as in 100+ at best. He doesn't especially want to go far, so chasing merit out of state doesn't make a lot of sense because it would be only marginally better than a regional college closer.

[Anonymous]

You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that your child is a lazy mediocrity sooner or later. You must have seen it coming over the past three years of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that your child is a lazy mediocrity sooner or later. You must have seen it coming over the past three years of high school.

This post says a lot about whoever wrote it, and none of it is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, I went to UVa and kid is likely going to Alabama on full merit. Kid is smart but laid back, not highly motivated and doesn’t want to grind. I’m happy he’s got an option to go to school for free and have the experience he wants.

He’s not me and I’m ok with it, screw the shamers.

Don't get this. UVA is not that far off from Alabama. Weird post.

Plus she claims he got full merit scholarship. Much more impressive than full pay at UVA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, I went to UVa and kid is likely going to Alabama on full merit. Kid is smart but laid back, not highly motivated and doesn’t want to grind. I’m happy he’s got an option to go to school for free and have the experience he wants.

He’s not me and I’m ok with it, screw the shamers.

Don't get this. UVA is not that far off from Alabama. Weird post.

Plus she claims he got full merit scholarship. Much more impressive than full pay at UVA

Kid is NMSF and eligible for one of Alabama’s full ride merit scholarships aimed at NMF. Nothing is final until we get the letter but he’s got a solid shot at it - 5 full years completely covered.

He also got direct admit offer to GMU already so he will be ok either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that your child is a lazy mediocrity sooner or later. You must have seen it coming over the past three years of high school.

This post says a lot about whoever wrote it, and none of it is good.

+1, so rude and unnecessary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still feel bad that I am going to tell people where he is going and they are going to judge.

Tell us more, OP. Do you have reason to believe they will shame and judge? People who shame and judge tend to be rude and provincial. Does this describe them? And if it does, why would you not realize that the problem is theirs, not yours?

DP. I’m going to be in the same situation as OP in a few years and of COURSE people are going to judge. It’s just par for the course. The obsession over college is real. Of course they probably won’t waste time thinking about it much, but they will judge & feel superior. My plan is to work on accepting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, I went to UVa and kid is likely going to Alabama on full merit. Kid is smart but laid back, not highly motivated and doesn’t want to grind. I’m happy he’s got an option to go to school for free and have the experience he wants.

He’s not me and I’m ok with it, screw the shamers.

Don't get this. UVA is not that far off from Alabama. Weird post.

That was truly a “let them eat cake” post lol.

[Anonymous]

Do what's best for you and do hell with the haters.

[Anonymous]

Op, why not have him apply widely? 10 applications. It's not that difficult. He learns his options. You seem determined to limit what *might* be his options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, I went to UVa and kid is likely going to Alabama on full merit. Kid is smart but laid back, not highly motivated and doesn’t want to grind. I’m happy he’s got an option to go to school for free and have the experience he wants.

He’s not me and I’m ok with it, screw the shamers.

Don't get this. UVA is not that far off from Alabama. Weird post.

Plus she claims he got full merit scholarship. Much more impressive than full pay at UVA

Kid is NMSF and eligible for one of Alabama’s full ride merit scholarships aimed at NMF. Nothing is final until we get the letter but he’s got a solid shot at it - 5 full years completely covered.

He also got direct admit offer to GMU already so he will be ok either way.

read the room! sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, why not have him apply widely? 10 applications. It's not that difficult. He learns his options. You seem determined to limit what *might* be his options.

It sounds like he knows his options, but wants to stay in the Mid-Atlantic. If he's in VA or MD, then he's got great instate options, so choosing them makes sense. Pushing him to look at options he doesn't like as well doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, I went to UVa and kid is likely going to Alabama on full merit. Kid is smart but laid back, not highly motivated and doesn’t want to grind. I’m happy he’s got an option to go to school for free and have the experience he wants.

He’s not me and I’m ok with it, screw the shamers.

You do know that people who went to UVA are a dime a dozen in this area, right?

[Anonymous]

In my extended family, all the parents (quite a few) with PhDs from elite universities have children who have attended or are attending or will soon attend non-elite universities, and all the children with elite academic affiliations have parents without them. I think that puts everything in the right perspective.