Stop commenting on my weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I almost made a comment complimenting my doctor’s receptionist on how great she looked. Turns out she had lost weight and was wearing a wig because she had cancer. She died a few years later.

Yes! I was in the grocery store one day and overheard a conversation like this:

Hey Jean! You look amazing!
Uh ... thanks.
Seriously, absolutely amazing!
Yea. How are the kids? How's Bob?
How did you lose so much weight?!
I'm going through chemo.

The woman was thin but she did not look great by any stretch of the word. It would have been obvious to most that she was ill but some people are so weight obsessed that they literally just see a smaller body and think it looks "great." The woman stammered out an "Oh, I am so sorry to hear it!" and scurried off when it was clear the other woman did not want to chat.

But also, I have lost about 30 pounds through diet and exercise and I STILL don't want people commenting on it. A very generic and low-key "you look great!" is nice, but anything more feels like, "boy you were a cow before! What an improvement!" and that does not feel good to anyone. So shut your mouth, people!

[Anonymous]

Also stop staring at other people who gained weight.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to stick to nice ( or bad weather we are having)
Have a great day!
Nice seeing you

That way no one can be offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to stick to nice ( or bad weather we are having)
Have a great day!
Nice seeing you

That way no one can be offended.

There is nothing in the entire worse, than offending someone.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, you are being way too sensitive. People mean well and are trying to say something nice to you. Feel free to explain, but take it with the kindness it is intended..

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others who said this is a difficult issue. The OP is probably right that we shouldn't comment on people's weight because we don't know the reason. I try to stick with a comment like, "You look great," or something to that effect. But on the other hand, people have become wary of saying anything.

I've lost a significant amount of weight in the last year using Zepbound, exercise, and a complete diet overhaul, plus a massive amount of stress associated with caring for my elderly parents. I understand why people don't want to say anything about people's weight and think that we generally should avoid comments about weight loss or gain. At the same time, if I'm being completely honest, it feels a bit off when I run into people I haven't seen in a while and they don't say anything about the fact that I've basically shed the weight of a small human being. It's not a huge issue, because I feel great, so I don't need outside affirmation to validate what I've done.

I'm sympathetic, OP because the reasons you are sensitive about comments about your weight loss are tied to your feelings about weight gain and managing your medical and mental health issues. My own weight gain, which took off during the pandemic, was tied to depression, anxiety, excessive work demands, and an overall lack of hope. I've found that the more I focus on managing my own actions and emotions, the happier and healthier I am. With so many outright toxic people in this world, letting well-intentioned comments get under your skin is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to stick to nice ( or bad weather we are having)
Have a great day!
Nice seeing you

That way no one can be offended.

There is nothing in the entire worse, than offending someone.

Well, nothing is worse than trying to give a compliment and unknowingly offend someone.

[Anonymous]

People are missing this from the OP:

People are assuming I changed my eating habits, and even go as far as to say they are proud of me for eating healthy and losing weight.

She's not upset by people saying "you look good!" She is bothered by people making assumptions about her weight loss that are *wrong* and even going so far as to say they are proud of her for doing something she is not doing.

You can compliment people if you want but don't assume you know why they look the way they do. Don't tell someone you are "proud" of them for exercising and eating well when you don't even know if they are doing those things (and actually it's weird to tell an adult you are proud of them unless you have a very specific kind of relationship so maybe skip that entirely for people who aren't family or like your best friend).

It's always a bad idea to assume you know what is going on with another person just by looking at them. Go ahead and pay your compliments (about how good the look not about the specific amount of weight you think they lost or how you assume they lost it) and then try this newfangled conversational technique: ask questions and listen to responses.

[Anonymous]

Even worse:
This was a dr appt so a comment about weight change would be appropriate. But when the person (my son) told the NP he was worried had dropped 25 lb and felt tired all the time she applauded the weight loss. Only problem was it turned out to be an autoimmune disease.

[Anonymous]

Let no good deed go unpunished! People aren’t aware of how you lost it and it was clearly meant as a compliment. Just say thank you and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have lost about 35 lbs in the past two years. I'm not a tall woman, so it's very noticeable. However, most of it was lost because of medical reasons (thyroid, medication change, etc.) and some were lost due to not eating during a depressive episode. People are assuming I changed my eating habits, and even go as far as to say they are proud of me for eating healthy and losing weight. I know they mean to be kind. I know they think they're being complimentary. But I'm so over people commenting on my weight. My weight gain was largely out of my control in the first place (went from a size zero to a size 14), and it makes me feel self conscious. So PSA - think twice before commenting on someone's weight loss - it may be a sensitive topic for them.

Accept the compliment and get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm dealing with this now, after losing 20 lbs. I hate it.

I was trying to sort out some health stuff, cleaned up my diet, and lost about 7lbs (I'm 5'2"). That didn't fix the issue, so I went off/changed medications, and dropped nearly 10-15 lbs in a couple of weeks.

I get it, I look thin and old now. I don't understand how people think it's acceptable to comment on the weight of others - whether gain or loss (and I've dealt with both).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people point out other people's weight loss, mine included. I never comment on people's weight.

Because they shocked you had the willpower to do it fool

[Anonymous]

It’s zepbound I have zero willpower

[Anonymous]

The point is that it triggers ppl. Chemo patients, those with medical conditions simply want to go about their lives and ppl bringing
it up brings them back to their illness.
So just stop.
I was in a country where I hated the food and came back with Covid. I lost 15 pounds. The ppl asking me “how I did it” and “ are you on glp-1?” Just nosy.