If you live in an accepting community, does the intolerance in other areas scare you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is your standard I can see why you wouldn’t be scared. In 1994 gays lived in gay ghettos because they were pretty much the only areas to be safe. It was criminal in most states to have gay sex and states occasionally prosecuted those laws with real jail time. Gay killings were still a thing. Gay bashing was common. The gay panic defense was mainstream. Housing was regularly denied to gay people. Employers fired people for being gay. Gay people who were outed were discharged from the military. There were no gay members of Congress or governors. Most actors who were gay hid their sexual Orientation because it was career ending.

You do you, but I’m not going back into any damn closet.

Have you actually been to Virginia in the last 10 years?

https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/white-nationalist-rally-charlottesville-violence-16.jpg?resize=1200,800

Talk about cherry-picking.
What happened there has had absolutely no impact on the day-to-day lives of the vast majority of Virginians, queer or straight.

The likelihood of being a victim of violent crime is quite lower as a queer person living in suburban NoVa than for any person living in NYC. Like, magnitudes lower. I don’t understand people thinking NYC or SF are so much better for gays when they are really less safe for just about everyone.

What about the whole trans thing in schools?

Virginia has landed in a moderate position on this issue.

What exactly is the moderate issue here? From what I see, Virginia is extremely transphobic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is your standard I can see why you wouldn’t be scared. In 1994 gays lived in gay ghettos because they were pretty much the only areas to be safe. It was criminal in most states to have gay sex and states occasionally prosecuted those laws with real jail time. Gay killings were still a thing. Gay bashing was common. The gay panic defense was mainstream. Housing was regularly denied to gay people. Employers fired people for being gay. Gay people who were outed were discharged from the military. There were no gay members of Congress or governors. Most actors who were gay hid their sexual Orientation because it was career ending.

You do you, but I’m not going back into any damn closet.

Have you actually been to Virginia in the last 10 years?

https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/white-nationalist-rally-charlottesville-violence-16.jpg?resize=1200,800

Talk about cherry-picking.
What happened there has had absolutely no impact on the day-to-day lives of the vast majority of Virginians, queer or straight.

The likelihood of being a victim of violent crime is quite lower as a queer person living in suburban NoVa than for any person living in NYC. Like, magnitudes lower. I don’t understand people thinking NYC or SF are so much better for gays when they are really less safe for just about everyone.

What about the whole trans thing in schools?

Virginia has landed in a moderate position on this issue.

What exactly is the moderate issue here? From what I see, Virginia is extremely transphobic.

How so? A few random bills have been put forward. Some would be overreach if passed, like the one that requires teachers to notify parents if they become aware of a kid identifying as trans. Other items like protecting women’s sports have broader support - including mine. But very little has actually been legislated and passed. Our current governor has not made this a hill to die on and that is good.

There is a big difference between suburban Fairfax county (very moderate) and RoVA. But guess what! Trans people live there too, even a good friend of mine who could easily live elsewhere. The fact is, many people will talk a talk, but when it comes down to it, the vast majority will not mistreat their family member, neighbor, or coworker for being trans or gay, but are accepting even if they don’t fully understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is your standard I can see why you wouldn’t be scared. In 1994 gays lived in gay ghettos because they were pretty much the only areas to be safe. It was criminal in most states to have gay sex and states occasionally prosecuted those laws with real jail time. Gay killings were still a thing. Gay bashing was common. The gay panic defense was mainstream. Housing was regularly denied to gay people. Employers fired people for being gay. Gay people who were outed were discharged from the military. There were no gay members of Congress or governors. Most actors who were gay hid their sexual Orientation because it was career ending.

You do you, but I’m not going back into any damn closet.

Have you actually been to Virginia in the last 10 years?

https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/white-nationalist-rally-charlottesville-violence-16.jpg?resize=1200,800

Talk about cherry-picking.
What happened there has had absolutely no impact on the day-to-day lives of the vast majority of Virginians, queer or straight.

The likelihood of being a victim of violent crime is quite lower as a queer person living in suburban NoVa than for any person living in NYC. Like, magnitudes lower. I don’t understand people thinking NYC or SF are so much better for gays when they are really less safe for just about everyone.

What about the whole trans thing in schools?

Virginia has landed in a moderate position on this issue.

What exactly is the moderate issue here? From what I see, Virginia is extremely transphobic.

How so? A few random bills have been put forward. Some would be overreach if passed, like the one that requires teachers to notify parents if they become aware of a kid identifying as trans. Other items like protecting women’s sports have broader support - including mine. But very little has actually been legislated and passed. Our current governor has not made this a hill to die on and that is good.

There is a big difference between suburban Fairfax county (very moderate) and RoVA. But guess what! Trans people live there too, even a good friend of mine who could easily live elsewhere. The fact is, many people will talk a talk, but when it comes down to it, the vast majority will not mistreat their family member, neighbor, or coworker for being trans or gay, but are accepting even if they don’t fully understand.

Are you gay or trans? if so and you've been accepted by your family then you're very fortunate. I don't know any trans people on good terms with both of their parents. Most are completely estranged. Even gay men and lesbians are often still disowned. I met a bisexual woman that was kicked out of her house by her father because she wanted to date another woman and the odds are she'll end up with a man because most bisexual people end up in straight relationships since that's where most of the dating pool is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is your standard I can see why you wouldn’t be scared. In 1994 gays lived in gay ghettos because they were pretty much the only areas to be safe. It was criminal in most states to have gay sex and states occasionally prosecuted those laws with real jail time. Gay killings were still a thing. Gay bashing was common. The gay panic defense was mainstream. Housing was regularly denied to gay people. Employers fired people for being gay. Gay people who were outed were discharged from the military. There were no gay members of Congress or governors. Most actors who were gay hid their sexual Orientation because it was career ending.

You do you, but I’m not going back into any damn closet.

Have you actually been to Virginia in the last 10 years?

https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/white-nationalist-rally-charlottesville-violence-16.jpg?resize=1200,800

Talk about cherry-picking.
What happened there has had absolutely no impact on the day-to-day lives of the vast majority of Virginians, queer or straight.

The likelihood of being a victim of violent crime is quite lower as a queer person living in suburban NoVa than for any person living in NYC. Like, magnitudes lower. I don’t understand people thinking NYC or SF are so much better for gays when they are really less safe for just about everyone.

What about the whole trans thing in schools?

Virginia has landed in a moderate position on this issue.

What exactly is the moderate issue here? From what I see, Virginia is extremely transphobic.

How so? A few random bills have been put forward. Some would be overreach if passed, like the one that requires teachers to notify parents if they become aware of a kid identifying as trans. Other items like protecting women’s sports have broader support - including mine. But very little has actually been legislated and passed. Our current governor has not made this a hill to die on and that is good.

There is a big difference between suburban Fairfax county (very moderate) and RoVA. But guess what! Trans people live there too, even a good friend of mine who could easily live elsewhere. The fact is, many people will talk a talk, but when it comes down to it, the vast majority will not mistreat their family member, neighbor, or coworker for being trans or gay, but are accepting even if they don’t fully understand.

Are you gay or trans? if so and you've been accepted by your family then you're very fortunate. I don't know any trans people on good terms with both of their parents. Most are completely estranged. Even gay men and lesbians are often still disowned. I met a bisexual woman that was kicked out of her house by her father because she wanted to date another woman and the odds are she'll end up with a man because most bisexual people end up in straight relationships since that's where most of the dating pool is.

I’m gay. My parents rejected in 1995 but now are accepting. Something that is not affected by whether I’ve chosen to live in a blue city, a suburb, a rural area, or in whatever state.

Given the choice between a more expensive higher crime blue city and a purple-to-red suburb or rural area that is safe, affordable, and where people mind their own business even if they think differently than I do, I pick the latter.

[Anonymous]

My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is your standard I can see why you wouldn’t be scared. In 1994 gays lived in gay ghettos because they were pretty much the only areas to be safe. It was criminal in most states to have gay sex and states occasionally prosecuted those laws with real jail time. Gay killings were still a thing. Gay bashing was common. The gay panic defense was mainstream. Housing was regularly denied to gay people. Employers fired people for being gay. Gay people who were outed were discharged from the military. There were no gay members of Congress or governors. Most actors who were gay hid their sexual Orientation because it was career ending.

You do you, but I’m not going back into any damn closet.

Have you actually been to Virginia in the last 10 years?

https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/white-nationalist-rally-charlottesville-violence-16.jpg?resize=1200,800

Talk about cherry-picking.
What happened there has had absolutely no impact on the day-to-day lives of the vast majority of Virginians, queer or straight.

The likelihood of being a victim of violent crime is quite lower as a queer person living in suburban NoVa than for any person living in NYC. Like, magnitudes lower. I don’t understand people thinking NYC or SF are so much better for gays when they are really less safe for just about everyone.

What about the whole trans thing in schools?

Virginia has landed in a moderate position on this issue.

What exactly is the moderate issue here? From what I see, Virginia is extremely transphobic.

How so? A few random bills have been put forward. Some would be overreach if passed, like the one that requires teachers to notify parents if they become aware of a kid identifying as trans. Other items like protecting women’s sports have broader support - including mine. But very little has actually been legislated and passed. Our current governor has not made this a hill to die on and that is good.

There is a big difference between suburban Fairfax county (very moderate) and RoVA. But guess what! Trans people live there too, even a good friend of mine who could easily live elsewhere. The fact is, many people will talk a talk, but when it comes down to it, the vast majority will not mistreat their family member, neighbor, or coworker for being trans or gay, but are accepting even if they don’t fully understand.

Are you gay or trans? if so and you've been accepted by your family then you're very fortunate. I don't know any trans people on good terms with both of their parents. Most are completely estranged. Even gay men and lesbians are often still disowned. I met a bisexual woman that was kicked out of her house by her father because she wanted to date another woman and the odds are she'll end up with a man because most bisexual people end up in straight relationships since that's where most of the dating pool is.

How in the world do you know most people are accepting these days? As I mentioned, that’s not been my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

Nearly all the laws are targeting transgender people so your gay brother wouldn’t experience that in Florida. The exception would be if he was still in high school and was in FL or tried to be a teacher because then don’t say gay would prevent discussion of his husband while allowing straight teachers to freely discuss their partners. Because talking about having a same sex partner makes kids gay apparently.

Even if I could travel there without concern, why would I spend money supporting a state that treats LGBT people that way????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

That's what cracks me up about this. I sort of guess not supporting a state that has areas that are unenlightened, but honestly, that rules out about 50 of the 50 states.

Go to Miami or Key West, like PPs brother. Everything is going to be just fine

[Anonymous]

This would be not like spending a weekend in St. Michaels bc Baltimore has too much crime...

[Anonymous]

https://www.thedailybeast.com/floridas-anti-trans-bathroom-law-spurs-harrowing-vigilante-attacks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

Do they have young children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

Nearly all the laws are targeting transgender people so your gay brother wouldn’t experience that in Florida. The exception would be if he was still in high school and was in FL or tried to be a teacher because then don’t say gay would prevent discussion of his husband while allowing straight teachers to freely discuss their partners. Because talking about having a same sex partner makes kids gay apparently.

Even if I could travel there without concern, why would I spend money supporting a state that treats LGBT people that way????

Oh, maybe because tax dollars get used for 90 million other things. Do you also grow your own food, weave your own fabric, cut your own lumber, build your own house because you don’t want to take the chance of “supporting” someone whose views are different than yours? Because even though a lot of people aren’t outwardly hostile towards LGBTQ, they aren’t super woke about it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

Nearly all the laws are targeting transgender people so your gay brother wouldn’t experience that in Florida. The exception would be if he was still in high school and was in FL or tried to be a teacher because then don’t say gay would prevent discussion of his husband while allowing straight teachers to freely discuss their partners. Because talking about having a same sex partner makes kids gay apparently.

Even if I could travel there without concern, why would I spend money supporting a state that treats LGBT people that way????

Oh, maybe because tax dollars get used for 90 million other things. Do you also grow your own food, weave your own fabric, cut your own lumber, build your own house because you don’t want to take the chance of “supporting” someone whose views are different than yours? Because even though a lot of people aren’t outwardly hostile towards LGBTQ, they aren’t super woke about it either.

I don’t understand the whole rant you just went on. If a state is not supportive of gay teachers and someone would rather go elsewhere why do you care?

If a trans person doesn’t want to go to FL because the state makes it a criminal offense to use the bathroom at the airport why do you care?

What does this have to do with cutting down trees? There are other states that people can travel to.

[Anonymous]

I have a trans son and a daughter who is currently dating a man but identifies as pansexual. They both pass as a straight man and woman at the moment, but DS always has to use a stall in the men’s room, and who knows how long DD will be with a man. No, I don’t encourage them to go to ultra conservative areas, and we don’t often visit our family in the rural, conservative south. I hope they don’t ever have to hide who they are or who they love, and it’s already uncomfortable watching them be so guarded when we visit those places.

Another worry I have for my daughter is if she finds herself living in a conservative and becoming pregnant. Even if she doesn’t have to deal with lgbt hate, she still has to deal with being a woman. Even if she doesn’t ever need an abortion, it’s becoming harder to get good medical care, especially OB-GYN care in places where abortion is highly restricted.

So yeah, I worry because we have family in red areas and we’d like to visit, but we’d also like to be welcome and safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his husband travel all the time. They've felt very welcome in the parts of Florida they go to (LongBoat Key/Sarasota area, Miami, and Key West) . They wouldn't live in a state that overall wasn't LGBQT+ positive but traveling to specific areas in the South and Midwest have never been problematic and they've never felt unsafe.

Nearly all the laws are targeting transgender people so your gay brother wouldn’t experience that in Florida. The exception would be if he was still in high school and was in FL or tried to be a teacher because then don’t say gay would prevent discussion of his husband while allowing straight teachers to freely discuss their partners. Because talking about having a same sex partner makes kids gay apparently.

Even if I could travel there without concern, why would I spend money supporting a state that treats LGBT people that way????

Oh, maybe because tax dollars get used for 90 million other things. Do you also grow your own food, weave your own fabric, cut your own lumber, build your own house because you don’t want to take the chance of “supporting” someone whose views are different than yours? Because even though a lot of people aren’t outwardly hostile towards LGBTQ, they aren’t super woke about it either.

I don’t understand the whole rant you just went on. If a state is not supportive of gay teachers and someone would rather go elsewhere why do you care?

If a trans person doesn’t want to go to FL because the state makes it a criminal offense to use the bathroom at the airport why do you care?

What does this have to do with cutting down trees? There are other states that people can travel to.

What I am trying to say is that no matter where you live or visit, you live in a society that consists of a mix of different views and opinions. There is no way you aren’t already in some way “supporting” people whose views differ from yours, whenever you purchase any goods or services.

As a gay resident of Northern Virginia, it’s just laughable when I hear some NYC bubble-dweller talk about how scared they are of Virginia and could never go there because of this or that. It comes across as very stupid.

As for Florida, it isn’t worth going to anyways