If private school were “free”

[Anonymous]

I will say this coming from a level down, we make $130k a year and send the kids to parochial school, which everyone says is cheap but is a very significant expense at our income level.
I have been told by many other parents that the grandparents are paying tuition because religious school is important to them (though not important to the parents.) Is this a factor here?
My parents have offered to pay, though they don't really care about Catholic school, because they know it is important to us and they know how much we sacrifice financially to make it possible. Plus they have the money. I have refused the money because strings are ALWAYS attached.
There may be some kind of conflict in the future if you take this money. In my family, it would probably be that they didn't feel my husband was grateful/effusive enough in his thanks for their generosity.
I told my parents to keep their money and we'll talk again at college time.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you give your kids a leg up? Of course you take this offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming they can do this for the kids entire education I would jump on it.
My kid has been in small private since 4th and it’s like night and day. We had great teachers in public school in K-2nd so not knocking them. But private offers small class sizes, less violence and overall disturbances and more individual teaching.
To be fair in ES the class disruptions were due to kids with autism that were mainstreamed and were struggling, so having meltdowns, not because of violent kids. It’s still disruptive though.

BS BS Bs
Not one private in the DMV can compete with public’s

Privates don’t even have counselors that are certified
Nor are All the teachers
And religious privates are indoctrination centers math and science lol no

OP, this poster is extremely uninformed. I’ve taught in both public and private schools.

The private: each student has two counselors (one general and one specifically for college prep)
The public: counseling was shut down 1/4 the year

The private: teachers must maintain certification and the school provides regular, useful professional development opportunities
The public: admin through together PD sessions 20 minutes before they started

The private: offered AP Physics, AP Chem, AP Bio, etc. (And yes, this is a Catholic school. The PP probably believes Catholics don’t believe in science, even though the Big Bang was the idea of a Catholic priest.)
The public: stopped offering AP Bio because nobody signed up. Never offered AP Physics

Now, this is just my experience.

[Anonymous]

This is a complicated question, and a lot will depend on the specifics of the public schools in your district and privates nearby. I went to public for all 13 years and have taught in public for 24 years; my kids did public elementary, private middle, and public high school. Here some of the things we've noticed in our specific experiences. I would probably pick public, ultimately, over free private if somehow the public classes could be smaller.

Pros of private: smaller classes, more outside time, more assemblies/advisory/extra programs/field trips/experiential learning, guaranteed athletic participation, some dynamic and creative teachers, shared progressive values in the community, many opportunities for parent involvement, kids feel known by teachers, curriculum can be very creative and delves deep, sometimes kids can stay kids longer, more parents delaying the technology

Pros of public: greater diversity of student body, more development of "real world" life skills, more experienced and certified teachers, more support services (guidance, social workers, psychologists, learning differences support), more understanding of neurodiversity, generally better teaching and more direct instruction of writing, more "meeting kids where they are at" and less "molding them into something," better at handling bullying and other serious issues, better teacher to parent communication

Cons of private: pedagogy and curriculum can feel more traditional/dated, no depth of resources for student support, more faculty turnover, minimal socioeconomic diversity, less flexibility and less willing to accommodate, some teachers less responsive, teachers potentially less accountable

Cons of public: much bigger classes and school community, less outside time, for better or worse, you are exposed to more (more disruptive behavior --> could interfere with learning, could help student develop empathy, could lead to teachers becoming better and more responsive), students getting phones younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not free. Even with grandparents paying. We were in a similar position and ended up switching back to public. There is so much keeping up with the joneses at private schools and when you are in a different income bracket you cannot keep up. Your children will know it and feel it when they don’t have what the other kids do and can’t do what the other kids are doing.

As an example… my kids two best friends from private school are part of a country club and do swim team there. Kid feels left out because we’re not members. That’s not a rare situation.

And I’m not poor. I make 250K a year. But at the privates around here, most have incomes topping $1mil.

Our HHI is similar and we are "poor" at our private school. My kid cannot do horse riding lessons or international vacations; I cannot make big donations or volunteer mid-day, which has trickle-down effects on my reception at school.
Our neighborhood public school is not low-income but the population is such that many families are single-income with 2-4 kids; we are dual income with 1 kid and so DD is wealthy compared to public school classmates.
I think it's actually put DD in a good spot as far as recognizing what she has that neighbor friends don't, but also experiencing the "have-not" feeling of seeing classmates get things she won't.

[Anonymous]

Going to private school hurts your chances of getting into a good college. Tell them to hang onto the money for college instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not free. Even with grandparents paying. We were in a similar position and ended up switching back to public. There is so much keeping up with the joneses at private schools and when you are in a different income bracket you cannot keep up. Your children will know it and feel it when they don’t have what the other kids do and can’t do what the other kids are doing.

As an example… my kids two best friends from private school are part of a country club and do swim team there. Kid feels left out because we’re not members. That’s not a rare situation.

And I’m not poor. I make 250K a year. But at the privates around here, most have incomes topping $1mil.

Our HHI is similar and we are "poor" at our private school. My kid cannot do horse riding lessons or international vacations; I cannot make big donations or volunteer mid-day, which has trickle-down effects on my reception at school.
Our neighborhood public school is not low-income but the population is such that many families are single-income with 2-4 kids; we are dual income with 1 kid and so DD is wealthy compared to public school classmates.
I think it's actually put DD in a good spot as far as recognizing what she has that neighbor friends don't, but also experiencing the "have-not" feeling of seeing classmates get things she won't.

Does the bolded mean your public also has lots of mid-day volunteers? We were at a public with mostly dual income families and it constantly struggled for volunteers. Now at a religious private (despite the agenda PP who thinks they are terrible, ha) where there are a lot more single income families and much more mid-day volunteering expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a PG county with several solid ES options and iffy middle and high schools with some selective programs that are highly regarded.

I generally believe in public schools and we are not aiming for a high pressure, highly selective school environment. If our kids get into top colleges, it will be because they were extraordinary, not because we pushed them to the max.

ILs have offered to pay private school tuition, no strings attached. I appreciate that this is an insanely generous gift, but I am still hesitating! Am I being stupid? I know a lot of our friends and family would look at me like I have three heads if I told them I was considering saying thanks but no thanks. But if we spent the same money moving to MoCo for the schools, no one would blink, and we like where we live.

The ILs will be supportive either way, it’s not about the gift. I don’t want my hang ups about the benefits of public school to keep my kids from something good, but I went to both types of school myself and I think it’s not an easy call. Is this stupid??

OP stick with public

Are YOUR kids in public school in PG county?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a complicated question, and a lot will depend on the specifics of the public schools in your district and privates nearby. I went to public for all 13 years and have taught in public for 24 years; my kids did public elementary, private middle, and public high school. Here some of the things we've noticed in our specific experiences. I would probably pick public, ultimately, over free private if somehow the public classes could be smaller.

Pros of private: smaller classes, more outside time, more assemblies/advisory/extra programs/field trips/experiential learning, guaranteed athletic participation, some dynamic and creative teachers, shared progressive values in the community, many opportunities for parent involvement, kids feel known by teachers, curriculum can be very creative and delves deep, sometimes kids can stay kids longer, more parents delaying the technology

Pros of public: greater diversity of student body, more development of "real world" life skills, more experienced and certified teachers, more support services (guidance, social workers, psychologists, learning differences support), more understanding of neurodiversity, generally better teaching and more direct instruction of writing, more "meeting kids where they are at" and less "molding them into something," better at handling bullying and other serious issues, better teacher to parent communication

Cons of private: pedagogy and curriculum can feel more traditional/dated, no depth of resources for student support, more faculty turnover, minimal socioeconomic diversity, less flexibility and less willing to accommodate, some teachers less responsive, teachers potentially less accountable

Cons of public: much bigger classes and school community, less outside time, for better or worse, you are exposed to more (more disruptive behavior --> could interfere with learning, could help student develop empathy, could lead to teachers becoming better and more responsive), students getting phones younger

Sorry but I don’t know any public schools that have better writing programs than private schools. That’s actually a huge con of public schools in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going to private school hurts your chances of getting into a good college. Tell them to hang onto the money for college instead.

There’s no evidence of this at the private school where I work. We have excellent college outcomes.

I’d love to see your data on this.

[Anonymous]

As an example… my kids two best friends from private school are part of a country club and do swim team there. Kid feels left out because we’re not members. That’s not a rare situation.

And I’m not poor. I make 250K a year. But at the privates around here, most have incomes topping $1mil.

Depends on the private.
DC are in a private school and we don’t belong to a CC. Kids have good friends that belong to multiple different summer swim clubs, including CCs. Some friends don’t belong to any. That is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a complicated question, and a lot will depend on the specifics of the public schools in your district and privates nearby. I went to public for all 13 years and have taught in public for 24 years; my kids did public elementary, private middle, and public high school. Here some of the things we've noticed in our specific experiences. I would probably pick public, ultimately, over free private if somehow the public classes could be smaller.

Pros of private: smaller classes, more outside time, more assemblies/advisory/extra programs/field trips/experiential learning, guaranteed athletic participation, some dynamic and creative teachers, shared progressive values in the community, many opportunities for parent involvement, kids feel known by teachers, curriculum can be very creative and delves deep, sometimes kids can stay kids longer, more parents delaying the technology

Pros of public: greater diversity of student body, more development of "real world" life skills, more experienced and certified teachers, more support services (guidance, social workers, psychologists, learning differences support), more understanding of neurodiversity, generally better teaching and more direct instruction of writing, more "meeting kids where they are at" and less "molding them into something," better at handling bullying and other serious issues, better teacher to parent communication

Cons of private: pedagogy and curriculum can feel more traditional/dated, no depth of resources for student support, more faculty turnover, minimal socioeconomic diversity, less flexibility and less willing to accommodate, some teachers less responsive, teachers potentially less accountable

Cons of public: much bigger classes and school community, less outside time, for better or worse, you are exposed to more (more disruptive behavior --> could interfere with learning, could help student develop empathy, could lead to teachers becoming better and more responsive), students getting phones younger

Sorry but I don’t know any public schools that have better writing programs than private schools. That’s actually a huge con of public schools in general.

Schools with IB programs produce excellent writers.

Please ignore the poster talking about how to game college admissions. Your job is to find a way to make your kid enjoy school and learning. There's a right college for any kid who wants to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a complicated question, and a lot will depend on the specifics of the public schools in your district and privates nearby. I went to public for all 13 years and have taught in public for 24 years; my kids did public elementary, private middle, and public high school. Here some of the things we've noticed in our specific experiences. I would probably pick public, ultimately, over free private if somehow the public classes could be smaller.

Pros of private: smaller classes, more outside time, more assemblies/advisory/extra programs/field trips/experiential learning, guaranteed athletic participation, some dynamic and creative teachers, shared progressive values in the community, many opportunities for parent involvement, kids feel known by teachers, curriculum can be very creative and delves deep, sometimes kids can stay kids longer, more parents delaying the technology

Pros of public: greater diversity of student body, more development of "real world" life skills, more experienced and certified teachers, more support services (guidance, social workers, psychologists, learning differences support), more understanding of neurodiversity, generally better teaching and more direct instruction of writing, more "meeting kids where they are at" and less "molding them into something," better at handling bullying and other serious issues, better teacher to parent communication

Cons of private: pedagogy and curriculum can feel more traditional/dated, no depth of resources for student support, more faculty turnover, minimal socioeconomic diversity, less flexibility and less willing to accommodate, some teachers less responsive, teachers potentially less accountable

Cons of public: much bigger classes and school community, less outside time, for better or worse, you are exposed to more (more disruptive behavior --> could interfere with learning, could help student develop empathy, could lead to teachers becoming better and more responsive), students getting phones younger

Sorry but I don’t know any public schools that have better writing programs than private schools. That’s actually a huge con of public schools in general.

Schools with IB programs produce excellent writers.

Please ignore the poster talking about how to game college admissions. Your job is to find a way to make your kid enjoy school and learning. There's a right college for any kid who wants to go.

+ 1 million

The posters on DCUM who act like the only point of anything parents do for children is to get them into HYPSM boggle my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to private school hurts your chances of getting into a good college. Tell them to hang onto the money for college instead.

There’s no evidence of this at the private school where I work. We have excellent college outcomes.

I’d love to see your data on this.

The argument is more or less that, because the student population is stronger, it's harder to have a high GPA, and in any case, test score increases from better education are minimized because the primary admissions tests are *aptitude* tests, deliberately designed so as to be invariant (or at least less variant) to school quality.

It's not implausible, though, like you, I would like to see better data on college admissions, and more importantly, life outcomes, by type of school & etc.

[Anonymous]

I would send kids to private. We are at lower ranked schools in FCPS. Title 1 elementary was the worst in that they put all AAP kids together and focus on kids who are far behind while neglecting the middle of the road kids. Middle and high school are fine academically, but not great socially. Hard to find a peer group. Bathrooms are constantly closed or full of kids vaping so regular kids doesn’t use the bathroom all day. Really makes for a not fun HS experience.