If you have an adult DD who doesn't dress up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, she’s a grown ass adult. Leave her alone.

What is it about adding "ass" to a random statement. It makes you sound dumb and takes credibility away from everything you say.

What is it about trying to control another adults clothing that makes you sound dumb and takes credibility away from everything you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody dresses up these days unless they are face to face with clients.

Untrue. I dress up almost every day because I like to look nice. I do agree that most people clearly do not care about looking nice.

My thing is, I don't think I look nice when I dress up. Still ugly. So why bother wearing uncomfortable clothes that require other, expensive and uncomfortable clothes? I'll just be ugly in my comfortable yet respectable clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have an adult DD who considers basic bare minimum for looks as good enough, would you discuss it with them?

what are the basic bare minimums for looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a detailed explanation about how appearances matter both professionally, romantically and even for friendships; I would point out all her lovely features that deserve to be brought out, hairstyles that might flatter her head shape, and cuts and style of clothes that go best with her figure; and I would also discuss colors and patterns that suit her coloring and size.

Essentially I would act as her fashion assistant. Only once, if she shuts me down and says she's not interested, of course. I wouldn't want to be a nag and make her uncomfortable. But it's a service one woman can do for another.

This post is almost making me physically squirm. I do not want this service from my mom or any other woman, unless I specifically seek it out.

I'm sure you've forgotten how many times a trusted adult in your life made remarks that you found cringe at the time, but that you benefited from later. Knowledge that you are persuaded you found out all by yourself, because the squirming made you forget that originally it came from someone who cared about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an adult DD who considers basic bare minimum for looks as good enough, would you discuss it with them?

what are the basic bare minimums for looks?

Enough to get a job, fiance, friends apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an adult DD who considers basic bare minimum for looks as good enough, would you discuss it with them?

what are the basic bare minimums for looks?

Enough to get a job, fiance, friends apparently.

what are they? What does the OP consider to be the bare minimum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a detailed explanation about how appearances matter both professionally, romantically and even for friendships; I would point out all her lovely features that deserve to be brought out, hairstyles that might flatter her head shape, and cuts and style of clothes that go best with her figure; and I would also discuss colors and patterns that suit her coloring and size.

Essentially I would act as her fashion assistant. Only once, if she shuts me down and says she's not interested, of course. I wouldn't want to be a nag and make her uncomfortable. But it's a service one woman can do for another.

🤮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an adult DD who considers basic bare minimum for looks as good enough, would you discuss it with them?

what are the basic bare minimums for looks?

No make up, no blow dry, no mani/pedi, no jewelry, no shapely clothes, basic sneakers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody dresses up these days unless they are face to face with clients.

Untrue. I dress up almost every day because I like to look nice. I do agree that most people clearly do not care about looking nice.

How old are you?

"Looking nice" is subjective and generational. A 26yo would think a 46yo's version of "looking nice" is fussy, dated, and unflattering. I say this as a 46yo!

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an adult DD who considers basic bare minimum for looks as good enough, would you discuss it with them?

what are the basic bare minimums for looks?

Enough to get a job, fiance, friends apparently.

It just looks different compared to other woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a detailed explanation about how appearances matter both professionally, romantically and even for friendships; I would point out all her lovely features that deserve to be brought out, hairstyles that might flatter her head shape, and cuts and style of clothes that go best with her figure; and I would also discuss colors and patterns that suit her coloring and size.

Essentially I would act as her fashion assistant. Only once, if she shuts me down and says she's not interested, of course. I wouldn't want to be a nag and make her uncomfortable. But it's a service one woman can do for another.

Oh God, no. I thought you were going in a different direction, to make fun of moms who display this kind of behavior.

Almost no moms are qualified to act as a "fashion assistant" for their adult daughters. You may think you have very nice taste -- you may even have been complimented for your style back in the day.

But your idea of what's flattering for an adult daughter of 26 is completely outdated.

Don't embarrass yourself by giving a young woman tips about hair styles or clothing styles.

[Anonymous]

One of the problems with this is that your daughter probably knows WAY more about what is considered appropriate professional dress in her work environment than you do.

When I was in college I had an internship on the Hill and my mom took me shopping for clothes for it. I was grateful to her for fitting the bill but she gave me TERRIBLE advice on what to wear and when I'd say "actually I think this might be more what I need" she'd argue with me and insist on getting what she though I'd need.

I was not spot on in my suspicions (huge learning curve) but I was much closer to the mark than she was and I wound up having to use part of my meager intern stipend from my universe to replace some of what she bought me with cheap versions of more appropriate items. I know she meant well but she had never worked in that environment and at the time she was a 55 yo sahm living in a small midwestern town. She was giving me advice that was 20 years out of date and not appropriate for the setting.

So the only situation where I would say "yes give a bit of advice" would be if you have *current* experience dressing for the same or a very similar professional environment. Otherwise let her figure it out -- she'll do a better job than you would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody dresses up these days unless they are face to face with clients.

Untrue. I dress up almost every day because I like to look nice. I do agree that most people clearly do not care about looking nice.

I dress up as well because I wear scrubs to my job so I enjoy being able to play around with fashion and make up in my off time. But I have plenty of friends who dress casually and don't wear make up who look nice too. I think it is weird to judge others or think you're better than others because you dress up and put make up on every day. I do it because I enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a detailed explanation about how appearances matter both professionally, romantically and even for friendships; I would point out all her lovely features that deserve to be brought out, hairstyles that might flatter her head shape, and cuts and style of clothes that go best with her figure; and I would also discuss colors and patterns that suit her coloring and size.

Essentially I would act as her fashion assistant. Only once, if she shuts me down and says she's not interested, of course. I wouldn't want to be a nag and make her uncomfortable. But it's a service one woman can do for another.

This post is almost making me physically squirm. I do not want this service from my mom or any other woman, unless I specifically seek it out.

I'm sure you've forgotten how many times a trusted adult in your life made remarks that you found cringe at the time, but that you benefited from later. Knowledge that you are persuaded you found out all by yourself, because the squirming made you forget that originally it came from someone who cared about you.

What?! lol, no! Just stop. I don’t want those remarks!