My Daughter just committed to a major D1 University - As Me Anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. I'd never want my kid to be a college athlete. I'd rather they have a real college experience.

You're a jerk. Being a college athlete is a real college experience, just a different one.

I think OP is the jerk, making the assumption that this is an outcome most people want, when the opposite is true.

Why would anyone want their kid to be a college athlete? Those schools OWN your ass. You live a sequestered life, a tightly controlled peer group, have no real free time to experience the other activities the college has to offer.

I know a few kids who did it and basically quit and transferred after their first year.

I'm happy for OP's kid -- if that's what her kid actually wanted and wasn't pursuing it out of pressure from mumsy and pappy. But I honestly wouldn't wish the experience on anyone. To be honest, they should abolish intercollegiate sports, IMO.

There was never pressure from us for her to play soccer or any other sport. We have older kids who played college ball. This isnt our first rodeo. She loves the team aspect. We did a lot of research on the school she picked and had felt the coaching staff was the main reason for chosing that school.

Then why play ECNL? Just play rec. The girls who play at the highest level want to play college soccer, or that's what they are striving for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. I'd never want my kid to be a college athlete. I'd rather they have a real college experience.

You're a jerk. Being a college athlete is a real college experience, just a different one.

I think OP is the jerk, making the assumption that this is an outcome most people want, when the opposite is true.

Why would anyone want their kid to be a college athlete? Those schools OWN your ass. You live a sequestered life, a tightly controlled peer group, have no real free time to experience the other activities the college has to offer.

I know a few kids who did it and basically quit and transferred after their first year.

I'm happy for OP's kid -- if that's what her kid actually wanted and wasn't pursuing it out of pressure from mumsy and pappy. But I honestly wouldn't wish the experience on anyone. To be honest, they should abolish intercollegiate sports, IMO.

"My kid really wants this"

As the parents scour the DC Metro for the right travel team, have a personal trainer and nutritionist, SAT prep, etc. etc.

THIS - is exactly what people say that US Soccer is Pay to Play and a money grab, and why we get pooped on by Moroccans who just like to kick the ball and play.

A personal trainer, nutritionist, and sat prep are all good things. I would rather pay for these things now than have a kid that grows up to eat crap and not move. If you start these things at an early age, hopefully they continue as they get older.

100% AGREE

[Anonymous]

Yeah nobody wants fat kids, you get it.

[Anonymous]

OP, you don't sound like the most humble of parents but their is a lot of truth to what you posted. A lot of players get letters from P4 schools, that doesn't mean they are interested.

As a parent of a player who went through the same process and now going into her senior year I would add two major things.

Not every family is wealthy including ours. We decided that some schools were out of our budget and committed to a middle of the table Mid-major because DD liked the atmosphere and the financial offer was much more substantial. She will also likely get playing time as well.

Another item, P4 schools are not likely to guarantee a roster spot pending the new rules AND if your DD suffers a major injury before college. Make sure to ask about injury.

Go where your DD is heavily recruited and wanted. Other than that, OP hit the major points on the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She recently committed to an awesome school. The road to get there was was filled with many ups and downs (and a lot of travel).
She is a defender and is blessed with size (5'9) and speed. She was never known as a technical player but is extremely physical. Every few years since early middle school she bounced up to a better team finally playing for the one of the top teams in the area.
Here is my advice;
Get your daughter playing against boys at an early age. It makes a huge difference in speed of play and the level of physicality.
Get a dedicated trainer for speed and agility as early as possible. I think this is more important than a soccer trainer. If coaches see that she can really move and has adequate athleticism they will take a long look. Get fast, get strong, get quick!!!

Don't be a helicopter parent!!!! If she does not want to workout regularly then that is her loss. If she is not all in then it wont happen for her. You can't force the issue and you damn sure can't live vicariously through your kid. And by the way, STOP yelling and screaming on the sidelines. They already have too much pressure from coaches, teammates and themselves. Don't make soccer everything in your life. Go get some ice cream!!

Don't ever go to a general open tryout. Call the coach for the team you are interested in and see if they will let you come for a practice.

Try to separate yourself by being really good at one thing. Great left foot, super athlete, dynamic in the box, exceptional 1v1 defender, very physical, technically excellent. Be good at a lot but be great at one thing. And remember that 'going hard all the time' is a skill. I have seen a ton of girls with great skills who just don't go hard enough.

Do whatever you have to do to get on a ECNL team. Not ECNL RL, and not GA. Your odds of playing in college drastically go up. Even if you are riding the bench for an ECNL team its probably better than being on an ECNL RL or GA team. There are only a few decent GA teams in the area. Look at Arlington, NVA, Maryland United, Union, Bethesda (although I don't recommend Bethesda to anyone..very toxic). I'm sure there are a few others.
The absolute most important aspect of getting recruited is to play well at ECNL showcase events. Either showcase events or ECNL playoffs. Typically there will be coaches from tons of D1 and D3 schools wrapped around the field at all games. Most coaches DO NOT attend regular season ECNL games (they are busy in their own season). Its all about the showcase events.

If you are playing ECNL, try your best to skip the ID Camps. It is a money grab plain and simple. Colleges use these ID camps to pay their assistance coaches. We got bamboozled in to going to way too many. Most were a complete waste of time and money. The only good part was that she was able to see the schools and from there narrow her focus on what type of school she really wanted.

High school soccer does not matter. My daughter is not playing high school because her club season and school season are at the same time. Over use is a real thing. Its not worth it. No one gets recruited from playing high school soccer. Its extremely rare.

Really solid highlight videos and good communication with coaches before and after showcase events is key. Letting coaches know where and when you are playing is important. Using a platform like Sports Recruit makes it very easy to email coaches and create a profile. Developing a plan and getting your name out there with Instagram and X (Twitter) is a vital piece to the puzzle. Posting highlights and just being active on social media goes a long way. Highlights videos should be short (like 2 minutes max) and should have your absolute best stuff in the beginning of the video.

If your daughter does put herself in a position to be recruited, remember that most girls DO NOT go to their #1 choice. That's pretty much left for USWNT players and the absolute highest level girls. My daughter lucked up and is going to a school she really likes and is a perfect fit for her style of play (but it wasn't her #1 choice). Fit and a great college coaching staff is of upmost importance.

I am willing to answer any questions.

Lots of interesting advice, thoughts, and opinions.

OP: Are you willing to list the schools which recruited your daughter ? Thank you in advance for any response.

Also, I must misunderstand the meaning of the term "helicopter parent".

Again, thank you for sharing.

I would rather not list the specific schools. But they were from the Big10, ACC, SEC, Big East, and numerous Iveys.

Helicopter Parent is a term I associate with parents who hover over their kid and live vicariously through them. They try to manage every aspect of their kids life and dont let them make mistakes or just be a kid. Guiding your kid and helicoptering your kid are two different things all together.

And you don't think posting here as if you were the one who got into the D1 school instead of your DD isnt an example of living through her? 🤣

Does she even know you've posted all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't sound like the most humble of parents but their is a lot of truth to what you posted. A lot of players get letters from P4 schools, that doesn't mean they are interested.

As a parent of a player who went through the same process and now going into her senior year I would add two major things.

Not every family is wealthy including ours. We decided that some schools were out of our budget and committed to a middle of the table Mid-major because DD liked the atmosphere and the financial offer was much more substantial. She will also likely get playing time as well.

Another item, P4 schools are not likely to guarantee a roster spot pending the new rules AND if your DD suffers a major injury before college. Make sure to ask about injury.

Go where your DD is heavily recruited and wanted. Other than that, OP hit the major points on the head.

Humble? More like proud of her. The only reason I posted this is just for general advice. I'm sure I missed a ton of aspects of the process. Everyones path is different. We definitely are NOT wealthy. Our DD got a substantial offer from the college so it was an easy decision. I always told her to go where you are most loved.
My first question dealt with mental health and if she got hurt before and during college. We were very satisfied with their answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She recently committed to an awesome school. The road to get there was was filled with many ups and downs (and a lot of travel).
She is a defender and is blessed with size (5'9) and speed. She was never known as a technical player but is extremely physical. Every few years since early middle school she bounced up to a better team finally playing for the one of the top teams in the area.
Here is my advice;
Get your daughter playing against boys at an early age. It makes a huge difference in speed of play and the level of physicality.
Get a dedicated trainer for speed and agility as early as possible. I think this is more important than a soccer trainer. If coaches see that she can really move and has adequate athleticism they will take a long look. Get fast, get strong, get quick!!!

Don't be a helicopter parent!!!! If she does not want to workout regularly then that is her loss. If she is not all in then it wont happen for her. You can't force the issue and you damn sure can't live vicariously through your kid. And by the way, STOP yelling and screaming on the sidelines. They already have too much pressure from coaches, teammates and themselves. Don't make soccer everything in your life. Go get some ice cream!!

Don't ever go to a general open tryout. Call the coach for the team you are interested in and see if they will let you come for a practice.

Try to separate yourself by being really good at one thing. Great left foot, super athlete, dynamic in the box, exceptional 1v1 defender, very physical, technically excellent. Be good at a lot but be great at one thing. And remember that 'going hard all the time' is a skill. I have seen a ton of girls with great skills who just don't go hard enough.

Do whatever you have to do to get on a ECNL team. Not ECNL RL, and not GA. Your odds of playing in college drastically go up. Even if you are riding the bench for an ECNL team its probably better than being on an ECNL RL or GA team. There are only a few decent GA teams in the area. Look at Arlington, NVA, Maryland United, Union, Bethesda (although I don't recommend Bethesda to anyone..very toxic). I'm sure there are a few others.
The absolute most important aspect of getting recruited is to play well at ECNL showcase events. Either showcase events or ECNL playoffs. Typically there will be coaches from tons of D1 and D3 schools wrapped around the field at all games. Most coaches DO NOT attend regular season ECNL games (they are busy in their own season). Its all about the showcase events.

If you are playing ECNL, try your best to skip the ID Camps. It is a money grab plain and simple. Colleges use these ID camps to pay their assistance coaches. We got bamboozled in to going to way too many. Most were a complete waste of time and money. The only good part was that she was able to see the schools and from there narrow her focus on what type of school she really wanted.

High school soccer does not matter. My daughter is not playing high school because her club season and school season are at the same time. Over use is a real thing. Its not worth it. No one gets recruited from playing high school soccer. Its extremely rare.

Really solid highlight videos and good communication with coaches before and after showcase events is key. Letting coaches know where and when you are playing is important. Using a platform like Sports Recruit makes it very easy to email coaches and create a profile. Developing a plan and getting your name out there with Instagram and X (Twitter) is a vital piece to the puzzle. Posting highlights and just being active on social media goes a long way. Highlights videos should be short (like 2 minutes max) and should have your absolute best stuff in the beginning of the video.

If your daughter does put herself in a position to be recruited, remember that most girls DO NOT go to their #1 choice. That's pretty much left for USWNT players and the absolute highest level girls. My daughter lucked up and is going to a school she really likes and is a perfect fit for her style of play (but it wasn't her #1 choice). Fit and a great college coaching staff is of upmost importance.

I am willing to answer any questions.

Lots of interesting advice, thoughts, and opinions.

OP: Are you willing to list the schools which recruited your daughter ? Thank you in advance for any response.

Also, I must misunderstand the meaning of the term "helicopter parent".

Again, thank you for sharing.

I would rather not list the specific schools. But they were from the Big10, ACC, SEC, Big East, and numerous Iveys.

Helicopter Parent is a term I associate with parents who hover over their kid and live vicariously through them. They try to manage every aspect of their kids life and dont let them make mistakes or just be a kid. Guiding your kid and helicoptering your kid are two different things all together.

And you don't think posting here as if you were the one who got into the D1 school instead of your DD isnt an example of living through her? 🤣

Does she even know you've posted all this?

I asked her if it was ok before I posted this. This post was for parents to have a better understanding of the process. I have already been to college. My older kids have already been and graduated from college. I dont live through my DD. I help guide her through the process (which can be daunting) but no means have I forced anything. Her college choice was her decision alone. We just helped her with the pros and cons

[Anonymous]

ROFL about GA. If you regularly look at the schools that they go to in this area, GA girls regularly go to better and more competitive schools than ECNL kids. Most ecnl kids. I see broadcast on social media from local clubs or at D3 schools. Happy your kid got in with what she's good at. It does make me a little sad that you continually said your kid is physical over technical skills. That definitely goes much farther in the US. It's just sad that we live in a country where being an actual good technical soccer player with real skills with the ball is not as important as being able to knock other kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is she preparing for the mental health aspect of playing or not playing? During her first few weeks at the school they will be bringing in the next crop of players who are better and younger. It happens to everyone of the players. It causes a major mental crisis. They start to question why are they trying to replace me, I just got here? Am I not good enough? Did I screw up?

What are their plans when the stadium lights go out? They will not have the chance to build a resume for when their playing career is over so prepare for that as well. It is beyond year round training. Finding a job is really hard when the only skill you have is you played 4-5 years of s port in college. The adjustment to being a NARP is going to harder than any training or competition they have faced.

Make sure they follow the Hidden Opponent on social media.

I know all this because we lived it all. A top tier school in their sport, started playing early, was the only one left from their freshmen class on senior night, The mental health aspect is not something coaches actually take seriously, they say they do but it's a next girl up world.

This was the biggest issue for me as a parent. Easily #1. Mental Health. She is very excited about playing soccer in college but it is not her 'end game'. She wants med school. She totally realizes that soccer is fleeting and will end sooner than later. We specifically asked about mental health resources at school to help with the ups and downs of playing college sports. The school has a strong sports psychology and mental health focus. Plus we pray!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ROFL about GA. If you regularly look at the schools that they go to in this area, GA girls regularly go to better and more competitive schools than ECNL kids. Most ecnl kids. I see broadcast on social media from local clubs or at D3 schools. Happy your kid got in with what she's good at. It does make me a little sad that you continually said your kid is physical over technical skills. That definitely goes much farther in the US. It's just sad that we live in a country where being an actual good technical soccer player with real skills with the ball is not as important as being able to knock other kids around.

Example of uninformed delusional parent above. Let me prove it from just 2026 commits this far:

https://x.com/imyouthsoccer/status/1824210962007634034?s=46

P4 Schools
74% ECNL
23% GA

Just because you say it, doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ROFL about GA. If you regularly look at the schools that they go to in this area, GA girls regularly go to better and more competitive schools than ECNL kids. Most ecnl kids. I see broadcast on social media from local clubs or at D3 schools. Happy your kid got in with what she's good at. It does make me a little sad that you continually said your kid is physical over technical skills. That definitely goes much farther in the US. It's just sad that we live in a country where being an actual good technical soccer player with real skills with the ball is not as important as being able to knock other kids around.

Example of uninformed delusional parent above. Let me prove it from just 2026 commits this far:

https://x.com/imyouthsoccer/status/1824210962007634034?s=46

P4 Schools
74% ECNL
23% GA

Just because you say it, doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about.

PREACH!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ROFL about GA. If you regularly look at the schools that they go to in this area, GA girls regularly go to better and more competitive schools than ECNL kids. Most ecnl kids. I see broadcast on social media from local clubs or at D3 schools. Happy your kid got in with what she's good at. It does make me a little sad that you continually said your kid is physical over technical skills. That definitely goes much farther in the US. It's just sad that we live in a country where being an actual good technical soccer player with real skills with the ball is not as important as being able to knock other kids around.

Example of uninformed delusional parent above. Let me prove it from just 2026 commits this far:

https://x.com/imyouthsoccer/status/1824210962007634034?s=46

P4 Schools
74% ECNL
23% GA

Just because you say it, doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about.

PREACH!!!!!!!

Thanks for dropping the knowledge! (and facts)

[Anonymous]

DD is now a recruited employee with requirements such as volunteering for initiatives at the University; often on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Also, you can’t count FCV anymore as BP is gone. The 05s, 06s, and 07s all were competing for a National Championship. Those days are over and no GA team in our area is even remotely close. If you want a more realistic picture of GA offers to come for VA clubs, compare with Baltimore Celtic or Baltimore Armour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?

Does no one else not appreciate this brilliant Monty Python reference?