My Daughter just committed to a major D1 University - As Me Anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that you call out getting on an ECNL team + specifically call out not playing on a GA team.

That's kind of a wide statement. If you're kid plays on one of the top GA teams it's light years better than an average ECNL team.

It's also interesting that you say that your kid isn't specifically skilled but that she is aggressive, big, and fast. Do you think with college rosters going down to 28 that coaches will have to move to more skilled play? Or will they just keep focusing on the infinite subs game?

I will retract my ECNL/GA statement. There are just way more ECNL teams in the area so your odds on getting on one of those teams are better. ECNL girls make up approximately 75% of D1 college teams. The top GA teams are exceptional but there are not that many of them especially in the DMV.
I think the new 28 rosters spots is school specific on what they deem as most important. Having an athlete who can play multiple positions is important. Aggressive, big and fast doesn't always work for some programs. Some want highly skilled. That's a hard question to answer. A highly skilled team will beat a super athletic team most of the time.

Thank you + I agree with your accessment.

There's more high level ECNL clubs. But, don't be fooled into thinking that just playing on an ECNL team will open doors to college. With either ECNL or GA or whatever you need to be on a top team to get noticed by top colleges.

If you're kid is not playing on a top team they're not going to play in the games recruiters go to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She recently committed to an awesome school. The road to get there was was filled with many ups and downs (and a lot of travel).
She is a defender and is blessed with size (5'9) and speed. She was never known as a technical player but is extremely physical. Every few years since early middle school she bounced up to a better team finally playing for the one of the top teams in the area.
Here is my advice;
Get your daughter playing against boys at an early age. It makes a huge difference in speed of play and the level of physicality.
Get a dedicated trainer for speed and agility as early as possible. I think this is more important than a soccer trainer. If coaches see that she can really move and has adequate athleticism they will take a long look. Get fast, get strong, get quick!!!

Don't be a helicopter parent!!!! If she does not want to workout regularly then that is her loss. If she is not all in then it wont happen for her. You can't force the issue and you damn sure can't live vicariously through your kid. And by the way, STOP yelling and screaming on the sidelines. They already have too much pressure from coaches, teammates and themselves. Don't make soccer everything in your life. Go get some ice cream!!

Don't ever go to a general open tryout. Call the coach for the team you are interested in and see if they will let you come for a practice.

Try to separate yourself by being really good at one thing. Great left foot, super athlete, dynamic in the box, exceptional 1v1 defender, very physical, technically excellent. Be good at a lot but be great at one thing. And remember that 'going hard all the time' is a skill. I have seen a ton of girls with great skills who just don't go hard enough.

Do whatever you have to do to get on a ECNL team. Not ECNL RL, and not GA. Your odds of playing in college drastically go up. Even if you are riding the bench for an ECNL team its probably better than being on an ECNL RL or GA team. There are only a few decent GA teams in the area. Look at Arlington, NVA, Maryland United, Union, Bethesda (although I don't recommend Bethesda to anyone..very toxic). I'm sure there are a few others.
The absolute most important aspect of getting recruited is to play well at ECNL showcase events. Either showcase events or ECNL playoffs. Typically there will be coaches from tons of D1 and D3 schools wrapped around the field at all games. Most coaches DO NOT attend regular season ECNL games (they are busy in their own season). Its all about the showcase events.

If you are playing ECNL, try your best to skip the ID Camps. It is a money grab plain and simple. Colleges use these ID camps to pay their assistance coaches. We got bamboozled in to going to way too many. Most were a complete waste of time and money. The only good part was that she was able to see the schools and from there narrow her focus on what type of school she really wanted.

High school soccer does not matter. My daughter is not playing high school because her club season and school season are at the same time. Over use is a real thing. Its not worth it. No one gets recruited from playing high school soccer. Its extremely rare.

Really solid highlight videos and good communication with coaches before and after showcase events is key. Letting coaches know where and when you are playing is important. Using a platform like Sports Recruit makes it very easy to email coaches and create a profile. Developing a plan and getting your name out there with Instagram and X (Twitter) is a vital piece to the puzzle. Posting highlights and just being active on social media goes a long way. Highlights videos should be short (like 2 minutes max) and should have your absolute best stuff in the beginning of the video.

If your daughter does put herself in a position to be recruited, remember that most girls DO NOT go to their #1 choice. That's pretty much left for USWNT players and the absolute highest level girls. My daughter lucked up and is going to a school she really likes and is a perfect fit for her style of play (but it wasn't her #1 choice). Fit and a great college coaching staff is of upmost importance.

I am willing to answer any questions.

Lots of interesting advice, thoughts, and opinions.

OP: Are you willing to list the schools which recruited your daughter ? Thank you in advance for any response.

Also, I must misunderstand the meaning of the term "helicopter parent".

Again, thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. I'd never want my kid to be a college athlete. I'd rather they have a real college experience.

You're a jerk. Being a college athlete is a real college experience, just a different one.

I don't think that they're being a jerk.

It's more of a reaction to some of the crazy parents that think D1 soccer is the end of the rainbow + the ultimate way to show off to other parents how much better they are.

It's funny when you see how different things are with boys parents vs girls parents + what each group views as success.

Totally agree. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to a D3. Whatever works for the kid is what's best. Parents need to stop think that its D1 or bust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She recently committed to an awesome school. The road to get there was was filled with many ups and downs (and a lot of travel).
She is a defender and is blessed with size (5'9) and speed. She was never known as a technical player but is extremely physical. Every few years since early middle school she bounced up to a better team finally playing for the one of the top teams in the area.
Here is my advice;
Get your daughter playing against boys at an early age. It makes a huge difference in speed of play and the level of physicality.
Get a dedicated trainer for speed and agility as early as possible. I think this is more important than a soccer trainer. If coaches see that she can really move and has adequate athleticism they will take a long look. Get fast, get strong, get quick!!!

Don't be a helicopter parent!!!! If she does not want to workout regularly then that is her loss. If she is not all in then it wont happen for her. You can't force the issue and you damn sure can't live vicariously through your kid. And by the way, STOP yelling and screaming on the sidelines. They already have too much pressure from coaches, teammates and themselves. Don't make soccer everything in your life. Go get some ice cream!!

Don't ever go to a general open tryout. Call the coach for the team you are interested in and see if they will let you come for a practice.

Try to separate yourself by being really good at one thing. Great left foot, super athlete, dynamic in the box, exceptional 1v1 defender, very physical, technically excellent. Be good at a lot but be great at one thing. And remember that 'going hard all the time' is a skill. I have seen a ton of girls with great skills who just don't go hard enough.

Do whatever you have to do to get on a ECNL team. Not ECNL RL, and not GA. Your odds of playing in college drastically go up. Even if you are riding the bench for an ECNL team its probably better than being on an ECNL RL or GA team. There are only a few decent GA teams in the area. Look at Arlington, NVA, Maryland United, Union, Bethesda (although I don't recommend Bethesda to anyone..very toxic). I'm sure there are a few others.
The absolute most important aspect of getting recruited is to play well at ECNL showcase events. Either showcase events or ECNL playoffs. Typically there will be coaches from tons of D1 and D3 schools wrapped around the field at all games. Most coaches DO NOT attend regular season ECNL games (they are busy in their own season). Its all about the showcase events.

If you are playing ECNL, try your best to skip the ID Camps. It is a money grab plain and simple. Colleges use these ID camps to pay their assistance coaches. We got bamboozled in to going to way too many. Most were a complete waste of time and money. The only good part was that she was able to see the schools and from there narrow her focus on what type of school she really wanted.

High school soccer does not matter. My daughter is not playing high school because her club season and school season are at the same time. Over use is a real thing. Its not worth it. No one gets recruited from playing high school soccer. Its extremely rare.

Really solid highlight videos and good communication with coaches before and after showcase events is key. Letting coaches know where and when you are playing is important. Using a platform like Sports Recruit makes it very easy to email coaches and create a profile. Developing a plan and getting your name out there with Instagram and X (Twitter) is a vital piece to the puzzle. Posting highlights and just being active on social media goes a long way. Highlights videos should be short (like 2 minutes max) and should have your absolute best stuff in the beginning of the video.

If your daughter does put herself in a position to be recruited, remember that most girls DO NOT go to their #1 choice. That's pretty much left for USWNT players and the absolute highest level girls. My daughter lucked up and is going to a school she really likes and is a perfect fit for her style of play (but it wasn't her #1 choice). Fit and a great college coaching staff is of upmost importance.

I am willing to answer any questions.

This is probably the most important advice you just gave. If your kid isn’t arguing with you to do more training than you think they ought to be doing, they probably don’t have the inner drive it will take to get through 4 years of a D1 sport. There’s a big difference between signing with a team and actually sticking with it for all four years. If the absolute love for the sport is not there you will have a kid who quits freshman maybe sophomore year. The point should be to play the sport in college because you love it and can’t see yourself not doing it, not to just use it to get into a school you otherwise wouldn’t have gotten into so your parents can brag. Looking at some of you.

[Anonymous]

How is she preparing for the mental health aspect of playing or not playing? During her first few weeks at the school they will be bringing in the next crop of players who are better and younger. It happens to everyone of the players. It causes a major mental crisis. They start to question why are they trying to replace me, I just got here? Am I not good enough? Did I screw up?

What are their plans when the stadium lights go out? They will not have the chance to build a resume for when their playing career is over so prepare for that as well. It is beyond year round training. Finding a job is really hard when the only skill you have is you played 4-5 years of s port in college. The adjustment to being a NARP is going to harder than any training or competition they have faced.

Make sure they follow the Hidden Opponent on social media.

I know all this because we lived it all. A top tier school in their sport, started playing early, was the only one left from their freshmen class on senior night, The mental health aspect is not something coaches actually take seriously, they say they do but it's a next girl up world.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do you recommend the player include in the email when reaching out to coaches? TIA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does being on a winning team matter or just any ECNL team as long as you are at the showcases?

Thats a double edge sword. A winning team will get more spotlight on them. They will play better teams in the playoffs and at showcase events so coaches will gravitate to those games more. There is a hierarchy at showcase events. If you are playing low ranked teams less coaches will see you play. I can honestly tell you that I have witnessed over 125 coaches at our games. We probably averaged around 80-90 coaches at all of out showcase/playoff games. A non winning team might have 15-30 coaches watching which is still great. Maybe more D3s versus D1s

This is flat out false and calls into question the whole story here. Yes top ecnl teams do get more coaches to watch but even the worst Ecnl teams have 100 plus coaches at showcase games. And not d3 only. We are on a so so Ecnl team —— mid and we averaged over 80 coaches a game. We also had 147 at one game playing another mid team. Coaches see players not teams. The top 5 girls on a so so team are better than the bottom half of most good teams. Coaches are looking at players. OP is making it all up.

[Anonymous]

OP what did your kid's life look like at 3rd, 4th, 5th grade? (sports wise)

[Anonymous]

Congrats to your daughter. My son would love to play D1 but we understand the odds are minuscule. My question is is this a binding commitment on the part of the school? How does she know the school will admit her if she’s just starting junior year. It seems early for a pre-read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. I'd never want my kid to be a college athlete. I'd rather they have a real college experience.

You're a jerk. Being a college athlete is a real college experience, just a different one.

I think OP is the jerk, making the assumption that this is an outcome most people want, when the opposite is true.

Why would anyone want their kid to be a college athlete? Those schools OWN your ass. You live a sequestered life, a tightly controlled peer group, have no real free time to experience the other activities the college has to offer.

I know a few kids who did it and basically quit and transferred after their first year.

I'm happy for OP's kid -- if that's what her kid actually wanted and wasn't pursuing it out of pressure from mumsy and pappy. But I honestly wouldn't wish the experience on anyone. To be honest, they should abolish intercollegiate sports, IMO.

Huh? OP is posting this here for people who DO want the info. Obviously. If you don't care about getting your kid into D1, why click or read or respond?????

[Anonymous]

Does your daughter have any non-soccer related friendships? Do you have any outside non-soccer hobbies? Has travel driven you to divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. I'd never want my kid to be a college athlete. I'd rather they have a real college experience.

You're a jerk. Being a college athlete is a real college experience, just a different one.

I think OP is the jerk, making the assumption that this is an outcome most people want, when the opposite is true.

Why would anyone want their kid to be a college athlete? Those schools OWN your ass. You live a sequestered life, a tightly controlled peer group, have no real free time to experience the other activities the college has to offer.

I know a few kids who did it and basically quit and transferred after their first year.

I'm happy for OP's kid -- if that's what her kid actually wanted and wasn't pursuing it out of pressure from mumsy and pappy. But I honestly wouldn't wish the experience on anyone. To be honest, they should abolish intercollegiate sports, IMO.

Then why play ECNL? Just play rec. The girls who play at the highest level want to play college soccer, or that's what they are striving for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She recently committed to an awesome school. The road to get there was was filled with many ups and downs (and a lot of travel).
She is a defender and is blessed with size (5'9) and speed. She was never known as a technical player but is extremely physical. Every few years since early middle school she bounced up to a better team finally playing for the one of the top teams in the area.
Here is my advice;
Get your daughter playing against boys at an early age. It makes a huge difference in speed of play and the level of physicality.
Get a dedicated trainer for speed and agility as early as possible. I think this is more important than a soccer trainer. If coaches see that she can really move and has adequate athleticism they will take a long look. Get fast, get strong, get quick!!!

Don't be a helicopter parent!!!! If she does not want to workout regularly then that is her loss. If she is not all in then it wont happen for her. You can't force the issue and you damn sure can't live vicariously through your kid. And by the way, STOP yelling and screaming on the sidelines. They already have too much pressure from coaches, teammates and themselves. Don't make soccer everything in your life. Go get some ice cream!!

Don't ever go to a general open tryout. Call the coach for the team you are interested in and see if they will let you come for a practice.

Try to separate yourself by being really good at one thing. Great left foot, super athlete, dynamic in the box, exceptional 1v1 defender, very physical, technically excellent. Be good at a lot but be great at one thing. And remember that 'going hard all the time' is a skill. I have seen a ton of girls with great skills who just don't go hard enough.

Do whatever you have to do to get on a ECNL team. Not ECNL RL, and not GA. Your odds of playing in college drastically go up. Even if you are riding the bench for an ECNL team its probably better than being on an ECNL RL or GA team. There are only a few decent GA teams in the area. Look at Arlington, NVA, Maryland United, Union, Bethesda (although I don't recommend Bethesda to anyone..very toxic). I'm sure there are a few others.
The absolute most important aspect of getting recruited is to play well at ECNL showcase events. Either showcase events or ECNL playoffs. Typically there will be coaches from tons of D1 and D3 schools wrapped around the field at all games. Most coaches DO NOT attend regular season ECNL games (they are busy in their own season). Its all about the showcase events.

If you are playing ECNL, try your best to skip the ID Camps. It is a money grab plain and simple. Colleges use these ID camps to pay their assistance coaches. We got bamboozled in to going to way too many. Most were a complete waste of time and money. The only good part was that she was able to see the schools and from there narrow her focus on what type of school she really wanted.

High school soccer does not matter. My daughter is not playing high school because her club season and school season are at the same time. Over use is a real thing. Its not worth it. No one gets recruited from playing high school soccer. Its extremely rare.

Really solid highlight videos and good communication with coaches before and after showcase events is key. Letting coaches know where and when you are playing is important. Using a platform like Sports Recruit makes it very easy to email coaches and create a profile. Developing a plan and getting your name out there with Instagram and X (Twitter) is a vital piece to the puzzle. Posting highlights and just being active on social media goes a long way. Highlights videos should be short (like 2 minutes max) and should have your absolute best stuff in the beginning of the video.

If your daughter does put herself in a position to be recruited, remember that most girls DO NOT go to their #1 choice. That's pretty much left for USWNT players and the absolute highest level girls. My daughter lucked up and is going to a school she really likes and is a perfect fit for her style of play (but it wasn't her #1 choice). Fit and a great college coaching staff is of upmost importance.

I am willing to answer any questions.

Lots of interesting advice, thoughts, and opinions.

OP: Are you willing to list the schools which recruited your daughter ? Thank you in advance for any response.

Also, I must misunderstand the meaning of the term "helicopter parent".

Again, thank you for sharing.

I would rather not list the specific schools. But they were from the Big10, ACC, SEC, Big East, and numerous Iveys.

Helicopter Parent is a term I associate with parents who hover over their kid and live vicariously through them. They try to manage every aspect of their kids life and dont let them make mistakes or just be a kid. Guiding your kid and helicoptering your kid are two different things all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. I'd never want my kid to be a college athlete. I'd rather they have a real college experience.

You're a jerk. Being a college athlete is a real college experience, just a different one.

I think OP is the jerk, making the assumption that this is an outcome most people want, when the opposite is true.

Why would anyone want their kid to be a college athlete? Those schools OWN your ass. You live a sequestered life, a tightly controlled peer group, have no real free time to experience the other activities the college has to offer.

I know a few kids who did it and basically quit and transferred after their first year.

I'm happy for OP's kid -- if that's what her kid actually wanted and wasn't pursuing it out of pressure from mumsy and pappy. But I honestly wouldn't wish the experience on anyone. To be honest, they should abolish intercollegiate sports, IMO.

Huh? OP is posting this here for people who DO want the info. Obviously. If you don't care about getting your kid into D1, why click or read or respond?????

Also to add on, if your kid doesn't want to play soccer at the next level (college or professional), why are they playing travel soccer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what did your kid's life look like at 3rd, 4th, 5th grade? (sports wise)

She was playing rec ball...haha. She didn't make the jump to bigger programs until about the 6/7 grade. She finally grew and that was all she wrote. She started to workout with a specific trainer who had older girls and boys in the workouts. She could start seeing that she could be as good as those older girls if she put in the time and worked hard. There is NO secret pixie dust to all of this. You have to work hard and be consistent. Working out a few days a month is just not going to cut it.