Grandpa making inappropriate comments to my 14 year old son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask your dad not to say it because you find it inappropriate, sure, but not certain why you are as angry as you are. My son would think it was funny if my dad said this to him, but they have a close and informal relationship. I am guessing it has more to do with interactions you had with your dad in the past.

Also, my son is 14 and works as a referee, and has to tuck in his shirt etc., so 14 year olds do have jobs that require some minimal dress/decorum. Doesn't pertain to you feeling your dad made a sexually inappropriate comment, but no idea why you think 14 year olds don't have jobs.

Op mentioned that her own grandfather said inappropriate things to her. I think that's influencing her reaction.

But this isn’t even inappropriate. OP is just weird.

I agree that OP is overreacting but if you think about what the grandfather said “what’s the score” after already telling the son what that meant, ( what’s the score of playing with your balls) … It is a tad inappropriate. He really shouldn’t be talking to his grandson about juggling his balls.

Is it inappropriate to tell a kid to stop picking their nose or scratching their butt in public?

I think this is more akin to a girl, scratching her crotch, and someone asking her how it smells or if she has crabs. A private part is much different than a nose

Not even close. Asking a guy if he’s playing pocket pool isn’t like asking a girl if she has an STD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some guys DO think that hands in pockets = playing with yourself. So, I think your dad (while I’m sure his delivery was crap) thought he was doing your kid a favor by telling him. And he kinda was.

This is a thing, OP.

It's poor etiquette to walk around with your hands in your pockets for this reason. Your dad, albeit in an awkward way, did your DS a favor.

Agree. OP is overreacting. And there are grown men who will “adjust themselves” almost unconsciously while wearing gym shorts. Like, almost endlessly. It’s gross and we all see it.

Your son’s future wife will thank your FIL.

[Anonymous]

“Mt son sometimes has anxiety or feels social awkwardness so might put his hands in his jacket or shorts pockets.“

Mom, I say this as a parent of a kid with anxiety and OCD and ADHD. Your child is now 14 and old enough to learn what is acceptable and what isn’t, and we need to stop making excuses using anxiety as scape goat. Hands in both pockets of gym shorts is just not appropriate for a 14 year-old young man. teach him other coping mechanisms for his anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I feel like it's a joke from that generation. He should just tell him the score is 2 to 1. This is like the "pull my finger" joke. However, it's only funny like once or twice. After that it's juvenile and annoying, but that's what men are like. I'm sure your son will have to deal with much worse in life from other males. I think your father is trying to get your son to laugh. Teach your son how to have a sense of humor. That would serve him better than having an awkward talk with your father accusing him of something.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you go off on your father about some corny comment during a camping trip, that is what will be inappropriate and weird.

[Anonymous]

I say this as a true blue liberal, but I think the old days where people talked to kids like this and held them to some standards were good. Less leaning into anxiety and more "straighten up and fly right", as my grandparents used to say.

[Anonymous]

Your son is 14. He has testicles and a penis. He is a young man. He does not need you to go into battle for him over someone - a relative - making a joke about him possibly touching himself. That would be extremely embarrassing for him to have his mother involved in.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it. He made the joke on the camping trip and then a few weeks later said what’s the score and you think there’s a connection between the two conversations?

[Anonymous]

Pull my finger!

BRRAAAT!!!!

[Anonymous]

Well I think you can address this and get it over with. My grandpa used to put HIS hands in MY shorts so I had an even bigger problem to solve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know your family history. If your dad has a habit of making inappropriate comments to you then that's what's going on with your son. If you want him to stop, tell him thst this is a nightmare deal to you and if you ever hear of this again you'll be very angry. If he still does it, there's your answer. He doesn't respect boundaries. Also tell your son about grandpa.

This. So many of the PPs gaslighting OP that this is normal. This is not appropriate your minor son doesn't need to hear sexual jokes from a creepy adult. Tell your dad to stop and he does not then do not allow your kids to be with him alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your family history. If your dad has a habit of making inappropriate comments to you then that's what's going on with your son. If you want him to stop, tell him thst this is a nightmare deal to you and if you ever hear of this again you'll be very angry. If he still does it, there's your answer. He doesn't respect boundaries. Also tell your son about grandpa.

This. So many of the PPs gaslighting OP that this is normal. This is not appropriate your minor son doesn't need to hear sexual jokes from a creepy adult. Tell your dad to stop and he does not then do not allow your kids to be with him alone.

Nightmare? Of course this is normal. How did you decide it wasn’t when many people disagree with you? Ball playing constantly is inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your family history. If your dad has a habit of making inappropriate comments to you then that's what's going on with your son. If you want him to stop, tell him thst this is a nightmare deal to you and if you ever hear of this again you'll be very angry. If he still does it, there's your answer. He doesn't respect boundaries. Also tell your son about grandpa.

This. So many of the PPs gaslighting OP that this is normal. This is not appropriate your minor son doesn't need to hear sexual jokes from a creepy adult. Tell your dad to stop and he does not then do not allow your kids to be with him alone.

I don’t think it’s a joke—I think blunderbuss grandpa is trying to tell the kid not to do horribly socially awkward things in public in the only way he knows how.

And further, it’s not sexual to tell your kid not to touch themselves (or appear to touch themselves) in public. It’s what we need to do as parents. OP shouldn’t even be in this situation because she should have already told her kid, instead of excusing everything as anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your family history. If your dad has a habit of making inappropriate comments to you then that's what's going on with your son. If you want him to stop, tell him thst this is a nightmare deal to you and if you ever hear of this again you'll be very angry. If he still does it, there's your answer. He doesn't respect boundaries. Also tell your son about grandpa.

This. So many of the PPs gaslighting OP that this is normal. This is not appropriate your minor son doesn't need to hear sexual jokes from a creepy adult. Tell your dad to stop and he does not then do not allow your kids to be with him alone.

I don’t think it’s a joke—I think blunderbuss grandpa is trying to tell the kid not to do horribly socially awkward things in public in the only way he knows how.

And further, it’s not sexual to tell your kid not to touch themselves (or appear to touch themselves) in public. It’s what we need to do as parents. OP shouldn’t even be in this situation because she should have already told her kid, instead of excusing everything as anxiety.

The person fondling themselves is the one making others uncomfortable. Instead of a chat with Grandpa OP needs to address this with her son before other people notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, some guys DO think that hands in pockets = playing with yourself. So, I think your dad (while I’m sure his delivery was crap) thought he was doing your kid a favor by telling him. And he kinda was.

This.