Tell me about getting divorced in mid 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is hell. But so is a shitty marriage.
I wouldn’t say I am happier. But I now live in peace. I lost a lot of things I value in order to feel safe and have agency over my body and my decisions.

I do have a new loving partner but that relationship does very little to numb the pain of divorce. I would much rather be happily married to the father of

Do you plan to marry your new partner?

[Anonymous]

Women in their 40s are no longer attractive, especially if they had kids. Even the ones that were top models have faded. They no longer attract alpha males. They may attract some gigolos or older grandpas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women in their 40s are no longer attractive, especially if they had kids. Even the ones that were top models have faded. They no longer attract alpha males. They may attract some gigolos or older grandpas.

I'm a 47 years old divorced man and that's not what I am seeing. Heck the 40+ women don't even want me lol they have so many options

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been awful but being married was also awful. It's not really something I recommend to have a better life. It's something you do when you don't have a choice to live in safety and sanely anymore. My ex was an addict and I just couldn't live with the unpredictability every day. My life didn't become easier though with less money and it's not like there are tons of people just waiting to be your friend and date at that age. My life is more stable. That's the best I can say from it.

I’m going through a divorce now, and this seems similar to my experience. It’s something you do when there are no other viable options. I traded one problem for a few others and I had to be willing to make that trade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are lining up to date a middle-aged single mother approaching menopause!

Go away incel

Not that poster. But it is true. I have no shortage of suitors.

Why does it matter if a woman has “suitors” or not? Seriously?

Because regular sex is important for many women in 40s and 50s.

I think this is a big difference between men and women. Women would not stay in a bad marriage just to have regular sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women in their 40s are no longer attractive, especially if they had kids. Even the ones that were top models have faded. They no longer attract alpha males. They may attract some gigolos or older grandpas.

I'm a 47 years old divorced man and that's not what I am seeing. Heck the 40+ women don't even want me lol they have so many options

This has been my experience. I’m 49 F.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would love to hear from anyone who did this or have close friends who did - and how it worked out/ are you/ they glad you did it/ how are you2 they doing now?

It’s great. I’m finally free. At 47, dating life is fantastic. Did you know that many younger men in their 30s are looking to date women my age? I’m doing better post-divorce than my ex husband. Life is so much better.

That you think you are in competition with him gives a big clue as to why you are divorced.

[Anonymous]

Divorced at 43. Was married to a great man for 20 years. It would be very easy to judge me for the decision; I spent years doing so. But I was so uncomfortable. It made me have a desire to act out and not be stable. There was something inherently missing. Passion and intimacy mostly. I tried working on that for years but it was just getting worse.

It was several years of hell and self-doubt after. I lost my confidence and was very emotionally reactive and scared. But I remained attractive and desired. I easily fell into a relationship but it was toxic as we were both dealing with the internal emotional stress of divorce. After 5 years, we were able to stabilize. 7 years later it is pure joy and clearly the right decision, especially for my children. My ex remarried a few years ago, and I will soon. My ex and I aren’t together or even friends, but we coparent very well and our children’s lives are way more stable.

There are a lot of reasons to divorce, but they are all painful. Doesn’t mean it isn’t the best decision long term, but I wouldn’t wish the emotional turmoil on anyone, and we had a completely uncontested divorce with nary a single negative word said between us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced at 43. Was married to a great man for 20 years. It would be very easy to judge me for the decision; I spent years doing so. But I was so uncomfortable. It made me have a desire to act out and not be stable. There was something inherently missing. Passion and intimacy mostly. I tried working on that for years but it was just getting worse.

It was several years of hell and self-doubt after. I lost my confidence and was very emotionally reactive and scared. But I remained attractive and desired. I easily fell into a relationship but it was toxic as we were both dealing with the internal emotional stress of divorce. After 5 years, we were able to stabilize. 7 years later it is pure joy and clearly the right decision, especially for my children. My ex remarried a few years ago, and I will soon. My ex and I aren’t together or even friends, but we coparent very well and our children’s lives are way more stable.

There are a lot of reasons to divorce, but they are all painful. Doesn’t mean it isn’t the best decision long term, but I wouldn’t wish the emotional turmoil on anyone, and we had a completely uncontested divorce with nary a single negative word said between us.

Where do you live /which state?

[Anonymous]

Fun at first, then gets boring and lonely. And the poverty. Divorce is expensive and divides money/estate/shared property. Women typically left with responsibility of raising kids and ongoing expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are lining up to date a middle-aged single mother approaching menopause!

Did OP ask about dating again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women in their 40s are no longer attractive, especially if they had kids. Even the ones that were top models have faded. They no longer attract alpha males. They may attract some gigolos or older grandpas.

I disagree. All looks fade over time but intelligence doesn’t and having fun and pleasure in life can be rekindled. After years in a loveless relationship women in their 40s often release great sexual passion.

[Anonymous]

Pp who was asked here. DC but I travel a lot. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women in their 40s are no longer attractive, especially if they had kids. Even the ones that were top models have faded. They no longer attract alpha males. They may attract some gigolos or older grandpas.

I'm a 47 years old divorced man and that's not what I am seeing. Heck the 40+ women don't even want me lol they have so many options

You can’t be serious. Since the beginning of time, men have always preferred young women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women in their 40s are no longer attractive, especially if they had kids. Even the ones that were top models have faded. They no longer attract alpha males. They may attract some gigolos or older grandpas.

I'm a 47 years old divorced man and that's not what I am seeing. Heck the 40+ women don't even want me lol they have so many options

You can’t be serious. Since the beginning of time, men have always preferred young women.

Doesn’t mean they get them.