Tell me about getting divorced in mid 40s
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Anonymous
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Divorced at 47. 50 now. Life is so much better for the reasons PP said - not sharing space with someone that took so much out of me. And loneliness IN a marriage is SO much worse than being alone / not in a romantic relationship.
BUT - the opportunities for a new long term relationship are pretty slim. The dating pool is gross. You see it on here - all the men that just want to sleep around. And the ones that want something serious and are worth my time have their pick of a very large pool (because there are few of them relative to the women looking fro #2). That said, sex is easy to find, and I have had no problem making/keeping friends and having a great social life. So - all good, as long as you aren’t expecting to find husband #2 and live happily ever after. |
Anonymous
| I’m 2 months in and so far so good. Feel like a giant weight has been removed. Uninterested in a relationship but maybe FWB eventually. |
Anonymous
I mean, are you trying to be ironic? |
Anonymous
| It’s been fine as I have been able to focus on me and my kids rather than on dealing with an abusive ex. I have a good job so money isn’t a big issue though our lifestyle is a step down but worth it. I’m lucky to have a FWB who is not LTR material but who is truly gifted in bed. |
Anonymous
I guess you didn’t read the thread because I was responding to the person who said this: “Anonymous wrote: Men are lining up to date a middle-aged single mother approaching menopause!” Mid 40s women usually don’t have any problem dating if they are attractive. that was the point. |
Anonymous
Speaking from someone who just turned 60 who is going through it now, waiting doesn’t make it any easier or better. Do not spend years of your life in a dead end marriage if it can’t be repaired. |
Anonymous
Woman here I have the same question. This isn’t the Bridgerton era. |
Anonymous
I did not mean literally as men wanting to get married. I meant men wanting to date you. That is what I meant. Not sure why people are harping on the word. |
Anonymous
Of course you are incel implying that middle aged women are not datable. This is simply not true. I dated several nice men post divorce in mid 40s, all within 5 years of my own age. All were looking for a serious relationship |
Anonymous
But nothing in the original post indicates OP is asking about dating. She asked how divorce worked out. Your post assumes she/we GAF about dating. Some of us do and some dont, but whether life after divorce is successful is not defined by the availability of suitors/dates. |
Anonymous
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Two of my closest friends (one male, one female) divorced in early- mid-40s. It was really rough for both initially, and they are both infinitely happier now. Due to kids, they spend a lot of time with their ex-es, and their relationships with them have improved a lot now that they aren't married to them any longer. Notably, they both met their ex-spouses in college, so in some ways they are only now experiencing dating as full adults (e.g. jobs, not school).
TBH, I could not imagine going through a divorce (46 y.o. woman), but I am overall happy in my marriage. In both the cases of my friends, they were deeply unhappy and things had gotten quite hostile with their spouses. I think they are both better off. |
Anonymous
Because regular sex is important for many women in 40s and 50s. |
Anonymous
You significantly overestimate the abilities of men in that same age group vs sex toys for women |
Anonymous
Yep. Divorce freed me from the man I married with his champagne taste and beer budget. He became an abusive alcoholic. I got primary custody, have family money, and finally have peace. It was a bad bad marriage by the end of 15 years and nearly took my life. |
Anonymous
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Divorce is hell. But so is a shitty marriage.
I wouldn’t say I am happier. But I now live in peace. I lost a lot of things I value in order to feel safe and have agency over my body and my decisions. I do have a new loving partner but that relationship does very little to numb the pain of divorce. I would much rather be happily married to the father of |