Hotness Pass and special treatment?

[Anonymous]

My DH is very good looking and no, I don’t give him a pass because of it. We’ve been together for 25 years and I treat him as a whole person.

I know a dad who is as OP describes. I have no idea how his wife treats him, but he is so annoying in casual conversation it has killed any “hot” that might be there. I actively avoid him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is very good looking and no, I don’t give him a pass because of it. We’ve been together for 25 years and I treat him as a whole person.

I know a dad who is as OP describes. I have no idea how his wife treats him, but he is so annoying in casual conversation it has killed any “hot” that might be there. I actively avoid him.

These people often overstate both their attractiveness and that of their partner. And, if all these hotties are getting passes for bad behavior, that behavior just continues. And annoys everyone else

[Anonymous]

I don't know from a man's perspective, but as a woman, if my DH were really hot I think our relationship would be better. I would want to have sex way more and when we have sex our relationship is much better. We are kinder to each other and find more ways to connect during the day. I'll settle for him losing weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the opposite recently. After a string of incredibly hot girlfriends, I tried to make a recent relationship work because we shared several hobbies and a life outlook. The first time she got upset about something little I thought to myself, “I often up with this, but she’s not hot enough to tolerate it,” and broke up shortly after.

You don't even realize how shallow you are. LOL. And I bet not nearly as good looking enough for the standards you have.

This is PP. You might think so, but I always am able to date and sleep with attractive women and know have learned not to lower my standards. (And I concur with the PPs. It is really fun being somewhere with the most attractive date in the room)

Oh, well, I'm terribly impressed. And you're still shallow. Not an attractive quality.

[Anonymous]

Lotta frumpy dudes in the '07.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a standard bland white boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know from a man's perspective, but as a woman, if my DH were really hot I think our relationship would be better. I would want to have sex way more and when we have sex our relationship is much better. We are kinder to each other and find more ways to connect during the day. I'll settle for him losing weight.

OP here. This makes so much sense! I want to have sex with him all the time, and I am sure that keeps us moving in a positive direction. We are very kind to one another.

[Anonymous]

He won’t be hot forever but he’ll still be a douchebag.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post is basically a self-congratulatory brag. It's annoying. I feel the prior "ew" although I am a DP.

I've been with model-looking guys, meaning underwear model types that you see in magazines. The novelty of looks wears off after a few months. And when you spend more time with them, you find that they have bad breath in the mornings, ain't so great before they get done up, burp and fart just like the rest of us. So, no, their looks don't given them a pass. If there is a worse looking guy but has more swagger, more ambition/achievements, and more sexual prowess in bed, I'd be all over the ugly one.

How am I bragging? This is an anonymous form. Also, there are lots of hot people on the planet, some of us are married to them.

But anyway, sweetheart he has all the other things you mention outside of hotness too...ambition, achievements, sexual prowess, he loves me, takes care of me, etc. I am not that shallow, I know hot men poop and fart like anyone else! I would never marry unless it was the whole package.

I am more fascinated by the psychology behind looks being correlated to bad behavior passes in relationship dynamics. I just know I was never this chill in other relationships, and the guys were less hot.

NP. How long have you been together? I had really understood PP and others to be saying that being so memorized by hotness on an everyday basis wears off so whatever you are experiencing is pretty time limited.

[Anonymous]

I wonder where all these attractive people live. I don’t see any of them around my neighborhood, gym, school or work.

[Anonymous]

What? My DH is attractive—there have always been women hanging around. It’s mildly amusing. It doesn’t change how I treat him or our relationship.

You sound insecure. That is not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know from a man's perspective, but as a woman, if my DH were really hot I think our relationship would be better. I would want to have sex way more and when we have sex our relationship is much better. We are kinder to each other and find more ways to connect during the day. I'll settle for him losing weight.

Have you told him that you might put out more if he slimmed down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the opposite recently. After a string of incredibly hot girlfriends, I tried to make a recent relationship work because we shared several hobbies and a life outlook. The first time she got upset about something little I thought to myself, “I often up with this, but she’s not hot enough to tolerate it,” and broke up shortly after.

You have issues.

Like what? He doesn't want to put up with some girls BS unless she is hot. That seems reasonable.

I reached the same conclusion many years ago. If I’m going to get treated poorly, why not at least get the benefit of a hottie while it lasts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post is basically a self-congratulatory brag. It's annoying. I feel the prior "ew" although I am a DP.

I've been with model-looking guys, meaning underwear model types that you see in magazines. The novelty of looks wears off after a few months. And when you spend more time with them, you find that they have bad breath in the mornings, ain't so great before they get done up, burp and fart just like the rest of us. So, no, their looks don't given them a pass. If there is a worse looking guy but has more swagger, more ambition/achievements, and more sexual prowess in bed, I'd be all over the ugly one.

How am I bragging? This is an anonymous form. Also, there are lots of hot people on the planet, some of us are married to them.

But anyway, sweetheart he has all the other things you mention outside of hotness too...ambition, achievements, sexual prowess, he loves me, takes care of me, etc. I am not that shallow, I know hot men poop and fart like anyone else! I would never marry unless it was the whole package.

I am more fascinated by the psychology behind looks being correlated to bad behavior passes in relationship dynamics. I just know I was never this chill in other relationships, and the guys were less hot.

NP. How long have you been together? I had really understood PP and others to be saying that being so memorized by hotness on an everyday basis wears off so whatever you are experiencing is pretty time limited.

Been together 5 years, married for 2 years. I don't think his hotness is wearing off anytime soon. He takes care of himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He won’t be hot forever but he’ll still be a douchebag.

He never was a douchebag. He honestly is one of those guys that doesn't even really understand how hot he is. It is endearing. He doesn't have an ego, and doesn't treat me like he can do better.