College "Moms" Service Provider

[Anonymous]

So far two of my kids have gone to college across the country from us. They've dealt with mono, walking pneumonia, a sprained ankle and a shoulder out of socket. I've overnighted countless homemade cookies and sent care packages once a month. Their father or a sibling or I have visited every three months. They are fine - they figure things out. Figuring it out builds confidence in their abilities. Making mistakes is okay.

[Anonymous]

This undermines what kids should be getting out of college - practicing being on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a big thing at Wash U

+1 and Emory

I wonder what Tulane, washu, and Emory have in common

What do they have in common?

[Anonymous]

"Housemothers" were a traditional thing at universities. It looks like they're reinventing a traditional job, but badly -- a housemother being responsible for the residents of a small building seems a lot more efficient than a bunch of individually hired ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tulane has a lady that does this.
People love her and pass her name around. You pay her a monthly fee. She cooks/checks in, buys groceries, drives them to target/WF and airport. Also to sports or dr appts.

Why do college students need to be driven to sports? And why can't your college student buy their own groceries/learn to cook?

Uber would be cheaper for the rides to the grocery store, doctors appointments, etc.

[Anonymous]

It’s also at Northwestern

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom of a USNA kid who does this.

At USNA every freshman (plebe) is literally assigned a "mom," their first year. IE a family in town that volunteers to sponsor them. I believe most, if not all, service academies have this. We were a sponsor family in Annapolis for 10 years and it was a great experience on both sides.

[Anonymous]

This thread is bringing back very bad memories for me of being at an elite college and realizing how much (sometimes invisible) $$$$ parental support so many of my classmates benefited from while I struggled. Yes it built character - I’m successful and happy. But college just throws so much of these (mostly class, less often racial) differences into such stark relief. It’s tough not being among the pampered ones.

[Anonymous]

Where is Mary Kay Letourneau when you really need her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OMG! You all are raising a generation of snowflakes.

This. I'm a very nurturing mom, but a "moms" service provider...for college kids?! Sounds like an SNL skit!

Exactly. I do most everything but at some point, cut the cord.

Send your kid with enough medicine or have it delivered. You can mail food.

Eh. Its probably just for the first year/adjustment. Its not like you are doing this when they are 25.....its fine as a transition.

I hated being on my own with absolutely zero support when I was 18. Cried/miserable/lonely and sick. Don't wish that on my kids. But yes, slowly transition away from the hovering.

As a parent, if your kid is sick, you go out there and take care of them. I am very much a hovering parent but no way I'd pay someone as its my job.

If your college kid is sick with the vast majority of illnesses, you keep in touch, have then go to the health center, and send them some care packages. If they are very, very sick, you go and bring them home. I can't think of the illness that would require me to go to my college kid and take care of her, but wouldn;t require that I bring her home.

Good lord.

+1 My DD got pretty sick the first week of college but was able to manage between the health center and college student services. I did call the student services office for her because I thought somebody should know she was missing orientation and to check on health center info. This is a small college and they jumped in to make sure she had OTC meds, had food delivered, etc. (at a larger school that didn't have that kind of personal support, I probably would just have used instacart to get her what she needed). Later that semester she got covid and came home for a week.

My friend used a "college mom" service for her DD who was going to an OOS college, exclusively to help with move in. They were able to ship things from Amazon to the woman's home and then she delivered them during her move-in time. That seems like a practical service.

I don’t get it. She couldn’t have Amazon ordered something to her dorm? This sounds ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Housemothers" were a traditional thing at universities. It looks like they're reinventing a traditional job, but badly -- a housemother being responsible for the residents of a small building seems a lot more efficient than a bunch of individually hired ones.

What? When? Where?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through this. The only help I thought was needed was for the hospitalized child. If my child were hospitalized, I'd try to be in town.

If you text your child, you can help them with small things over the Internet.

It didn't surprise me to see that Penn State was on the list of places where this was available. Penn State was full of sheltered suburbanites when I went there for a year. The kind of people who have trouble taking a city bus.

Amazon prime brings everything. I hurt my ear at 10 p.m. at night. I thought about taking my neurotic self to a GP the next day. Instead I ordered a digital otoscope that connects to my phone. It arrived at 10 AM the next day. Likely sooner than I could have seen GP. All fine.
Gift packages are equally available on the internet. Although I'm not sure if delivery to dorm is efficient.

Be sure your kid wants this help.

Where did you end up after a year?

I transferred to Pitt. A city school. Exploring Pitt vs. Penn State was the first time I discovered that a sheltered suburban girl whose female relatives were extremely protective would prefer a somewhat more urban, diverse environment. PSU University Park was probably the most homogenous place I've ever lived. Including a W school neighborhood. I lived in North Bethesda by myself in my 20s when I lived in the DMV and rode Metro to work in DC. I looked at NoVa but couldn't find an extremely safe, affordable apartment close to a metro stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom of a USNA kid who does this.

At USNA every freshman (plebe) is literally assigned a "mom," their first year. IE a family in town that volunteers to sponsor them. I believe most, if not all, service academies have this. We were a sponsor family in Annapolis for 10 years and it was a great experience on both sides.

My friend who lived near USNA did this too. I think it is a wonderful idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Housemothers" were a traditional thing at universities. It looks like they're reinventing a traditional job, but badly -- a housemother being responsible for the residents of a small building seems a lot more efficient than a bunch of individually hired ones.

What? When? Where?

Boarding schools have something similar.

[Anonymous]

19-going-on-9.

Put your kid in the military and GROW UP.