Do I need to lower my expectations ( dating)

[Anonymous]

There's probably a lot of tech bros in our area destined for the income levels you seek, yet lack the sociopathic/alcoholic/cheating tendencies of this areas tippy top earners. Unfortunately this group of men has poor social skills and may be difficult to reach. Perhaps if you positioned yourself as some sort of gamer girl on the dating apps you'd find your prince.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smells like a troll, but OK

Do you have the face or body to earn that sugar daddy?
Are you Instagram fitness model caliber or nah?

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m just a woman who has my stuff together and wants a man with the same.

I’m not super hot but I’m cute. Definitely girl next door type cute. I have a nice body and take care of myself. I eat well, workout 5-6 days a week, and I take care of my skin.

Im 5’2”, 118lbs, and nice curves. Dark blonde/light brown hair, dark blue eyes, and fair-skinned.

You are not tall and thin enough... gonna need to calibrate on the self-evaluated "cute" -- what famous person/actress do you look like?

You may be more realistically headed toward public schools and continuing to work... which is PERFECTLY fine, so don't bash it.

OP here. 118lbs is thin. I have breasts and curves. I’m not a stick.

I’m not tall but that has never been an issue. Lots of men I’ve dated and have spoken to love shorter women.

Oh, and I don’t date men over 6ft. I can’t do that a large level of height difference. Weird..I know.

[Anonymous]

I would look closer to your age range (within 4 years).
You're not a unicorn. There are guys who live alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are STRUGGLING. Half of them are porn/video games addicts who can barely function or hold down a job. Look up the stats on college graduation rates as well as employment. Women are beating men by every metric. It's hard but dont settle. Youre only asking for the bare minimum, but sadly many men cant even do that nowadays. Thats why the 4b movement is growing

OP here. This is what I’m finding. Most men my age don’t want to settle down, don’t have a stable career, and have a ton of debt. I’m not faulting them because life is tough and expensive. That is why I pushed my dating age higher to hopefully find a man who is more ready to settle down and has stable employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lower your age requirements. Look for a guy who lives alone and is willing to make a decision on marriage within 1 year. Plus no kids, never married. Older guy pool may be too small.

Roommates shouldn't be a deal breaker. They are economically efficient.

Agree with this. OP’s asks are all very reasonable except the living along part. Successfully living with roommates is actually a good sign of being economically efficient and able to get along with people, which are important traits in a good partner.

This. For different reasons. Both my husband and I lived with friends before we married. They were friends from college and all were successful. It wasn’t just money, it was companionship. Plus, a lot of them travelled/commuted to other cities as consultants do it was nice to have roommates from that respect. No, to someone living with parents, but yes to someone living with friends. Also, lower your age to your own age. There are plenty of guys at that age looking for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just being honest. My ex made 80k, had a bunch of debt, and couldn’t afford to buy a home. Most families need a minimum of 100k to support kids.

Why did you date him if your “standards” are so specific?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you're vetting loan applicants, not life partners.

This.

OP, what you want is someone with values who loves you and while you love. That’s what will sustain a marriage and a family, not a balance sheet total achieved by some arbitrary date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's probably a lot of tech bros in our area destined for the income levels you seek, yet lack the sociopathic/alcoholic/cheating tendencies of this areas tippy top earners. Unfortunately this group of men has poor social skills and may be difficult to reach. Perhaps if you positioned yourself as some sort of gamer girl on the dating apps you'd find your prince.

OP here. That wouldn’t work for me. I don’t know anything about video games at all. I have no interest in them.

My interests are more working out, cooking, being outdoors, traveling, and gardening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are STRUGGLING. Half of them are porn/video games addicts who can barely function or hold down a job. Look up the stats on college graduation rates as well as employment. Women are beating men by every metric. It's hard but dont settle. Youre only asking for the bare minimum, but sadly many men cant even do that nowadays. Thats why the 4b movement is growing

OP here. This is what I’m finding. Most men my age don’t want to settle down, don’t have a stable career, and have a ton of debt. I’m not faulting them because life is tough and expensive. That is why I pushed my dating age higher to hopefully find a man who is more ready to settle down and has stable employment.

Totally. It's nothing for you to worry about or try to "fix". Just keep going on dates, have online dating accounts, go out to bars to socialize, maybe sign up for a matchmaker (it's usually free for the women). Sooner or later the right guy will come along who IS functional and wants everything you do. You have *plenty* of time so stop being impatient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smells like a troll, but OK

Do you have the face or body to earn that sugar daddy?
Are you Instagram fitness model caliber or nah?

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m just a woman who has my stuff together and wants a man with the same.

I’m not super hot but I’m cute. Definitely girl next door type cute. I have a nice body and take care of myself. I eat well, workout 5-6 days a week, and I take care of my skin.

Im 5’2”, 118lbs, and nice curves. Dark blonde/light brown hair, dark blue eyes, and fair-skinned.

You are not tall and thin enough... gonna need to calibrate on the self-evaluated "cute" -- what famous person/actress do you look like?

You may be more realistically headed toward public schools and continuing to work... which is PERFECTLY fine, so don't bash it.

Height doesn’t matter that much for women, and actually it’s better to be on the shorter side if you want the widest dating pool. 5’2 is a fine height as long as she’s pretty with a nice body. Once you get to about 5’8 it starts to rule out a lot of shorter (rich) guys. Maybe if you only want to date 6’2+ rich guys it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just being honest. My ex made 80k, had a bunch of debt, and couldn’t afford to buy a home. Most families need a minimum of 100k to support kids.

Why did you date him if your “standards” are so specific?

OP here. This was before I decided to take this approach. We were together for 3 years and it never went anywhere. I decided I want a husband and a family and I needed to look for men who want the same things. Most men under 30 don’t want to get married anytime soon. I’m ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smells like a troll, but OK

Do you have the face or body to earn that sugar daddy?
Are you Instagram fitness model caliber or nah?

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m just a woman who has my stuff together and wants a man with the same.

I’m not super hot but I’m cute. Definitely girl next door type cute. I have a nice body and take care of myself. I eat well, workout 5-6 days a week, and I take care of my skin.

Im 5’2”, 118lbs, and nice curves. Dark blonde/light brown hair, dark blue eyes, and fair-skinned.

You are not tall and thin enough... gonna need to calibrate on the self-evaluated "cute" -- what famous person/actress do you look like?

You may be more realistically headed toward public schools and continuing to work... which is PERFECTLY fine, so don't bash it.

Height doesn’t matter that much for women, and actually it’s better to be on the shorter side if you want the widest dating pool. 5’2 is a fine height as long as she’s pretty with a nice body. Once you get to about 5’8 it starts to rule out a lot of shorter (rich) guys. Maybe if you only want to date 6’2+ rich guys it’s fine.

OP here. I have no height requirements. I actually prefer men shorter than 6ft because I’m so short. My ex was 5’8. The other 3 men ( I’ve only had 4 boyfriends) were 6’1, 5’10 and 5’6. Height doesn’t factor in for me at all.

[Anonymous]

OP here. What should I roll back my expectations on? I don’t want to be dating for verbal more years because I’m too picky. What I’m doing is obviously not working. I came on here for realistic feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll? What about ... love?

I have everything you want, I guess. Work PT and spend lots of time with the kids, have a cool house and everyone has a full life. Husband has salary to cover our life needs. I found my husband when I was 28 and he was 26 living in a group house. I dare say that I loved him and that's why I married him.

OP here. Of course I want love and a man who is smart, funny, reliable, faithful, trustworthy, a good communicator, etc., but I’m talking baseline expectations.

I’m guessing by the comments I need to lower it. What’s a realistic salary I should expect?

I just think it's dangerous to be so focused on these traits, and not on compatibility and love. Im older than you, and then women I know who has these expectations are still single in their 40s.

The exception is hot women. They can be picky and men will fall all over themselves to be with them. Harsh but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just being honest. My ex made 80k, had a bunch of debt, and couldn’t afford to buy a home. Most families need a minimum of 100k to support kids.

Why did you date him if your “standards” are so specific?

OP here. This was before I decided to take this approach. We were together for 3 years and it never went anywhere. I decided I want a husband and a family and I needed to look for men who want the same things. Most men under 30 don’t want to get married anytime soon. I’m ready.

DP. The vows are for richer or poorer, not "so long as you don't have debt and can support me in the lifestyle I think I deserve without working." You're not ready for marriage. You can probably find a man who doesn't really understand that, but you're fundamentally unfit for marriage.