Do I need to lower my expectations ( dating)

[Anonymous]

Ahh a future SAHM striver. Good luck with that group of fellas.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't date a woman who wouldn't consider sending her (theoretical) children to public school. I have no idea how many men in your dating pool feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lower your age requirements. Look for a guy who lives alone and is willing to make a decision on marriage within 1 year. Plus no kids, never married. Older guy pool may be too small.

Roommates shouldn't be a deal breaker. They are economically efficient.

Agree with this. OP’s asks are all very reasonable except the living along part. Successfully living with roommates is actually a good sign of being economically efficient and able to get along with people, which are important traits in a good partner.

She doesn't want economically efficient. She said she wants someone rich so she can be a PTA mom.

OP here. I’m explaining my reasonings behind my thoughts for certain expectations but I’m open to lowering them. This is why I’m here and asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lower your age requirements. Look for a guy who lives alone and is willing to make a decision on marriage within 1 year. Plus no kids, never married. Older guy pool may be too small.

Roommates shouldn't be a deal breaker. They are economically efficient.

Agree with this. OP’s asks are all very reasonable except the living along part. Successfully living with roommates is actually a good sign of being economically efficient and able to get along with people, which are important traits in a good partner.

She doesn't want economically efficient. She said she wants someone rich so she can be a PTA mom.

OP here. I don’t expect a rich guy either. I make 180k.

[Anonymous]

Every single one of these threads lately reads like the “wife is a bad sham”/“using pregnancy as an excuse” troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. My DH makes less than me, always has. We met in college. My age group is hitting the divorce zone. There are no guarantees. Go for someone with the right personality who will be a good dad if you want kids. It's sexist to insist that your partner make equal or more money. What you want is someone who shares your values and will be a good partner. Many high-powered men have wives who are public school teachers. Would you flip that script? Why/why not?

OP here. I’m an ideal world I would work PT or quit to care for my future children until they’re in school. My husband would need to make enough in this economy. Money doesn’t go that far anymore and $100k is the new middle class income. I want a nice home in a good area, private school, and the ability to find an extracurricular activities my kids would want to do. All that takes a certain level of income.

Are you hot or attractive?

OP here. I’m attractive but not hot. I’m realistic and would say I’m about a 7.

[Anonymous]

Is this a troll? What about ... love?

I have everything you want, I guess. Work PT and spend lots of time with the kids, have a cool house and everyone has a full life. Husband has salary to cover our life needs. I found my husband when I was 28 and he was 26 living in a group house. I dare say that I loved him and that's why I married him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. My DH makes less than me, always has. We met in college. My age group is hitting the divorce zone. There are no guarantees. Go for someone with the right personality who will be a good dad if you want kids. It's sexist to insist that your partner make equal or more money. What you want is someone who shares your values and will be a good partner. Many high-powered men have wives who are public school teachers. Would you flip that script? Why/why not?

OP here. I’m an ideal world I would work PT or quit to care for my future children until they’re in school. My husband would need to make enough in this economy. Money doesn’t go that far anymore and $100k is the new middle class income. I want a nice home in a good area, private school, and the ability to find an extracurricular activities my kids would want to do. All that takes a certain level of income.

Much of what drives up the cost of a home in a "good" area is the quality of the public schools there. Since you seem set on private schools anyway maybe you can settle for a nice home in a decent area and lower your income requirement somewhat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smells like a troll, but OK

Do you have the face or body to earn that sugar daddy?
Are you Instagram fitness model caliber or nah?

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m just a woman who has my stuff together and wants a man with the same.

I’m not super hot but I’m cute. Definitely girl next door type cute. I have a nice body and take care of myself. I eat well, workout 5-6 days a week, and I take care of my skin.

Im 5’2”, 118lbs, and nice curves. Dark blonde/light brown hair, dark blue eyes, and fair-skinned.

You are not tall and thin enough... gonna need to calibrate on the self-evaluated "cute" -- what famous person/actress do you look like?

You may be more realistically headed toward public schools and continuing to work... which is PERFECTLY fine, so don't bash it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m just being honest. My ex made 80k, had a bunch of debt, and couldn’t afford to buy a home. Most families need a minimum of 100k to support kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been working at this? How many dates have you been on?

OP here. I’ve been dating heavily the past 3 months. I’ve been on about 30 dates with over 10 men.

You're just getting warmed up - come back here in 18 months and report findings and experiences if you are still having issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll? What about ... love?

I have everything you want, I guess. Work PT and spend lots of time with the kids, have a cool house and everyone has a full life. Husband has salary to cover our life needs. I found my husband when I was 28 and he was 26 living in a group house. I dare say that I loved him and that's why I married him.

OP here. Of course I want love and a man who is smart, funny, reliable, faithful, trustworthy, a good communicator, etc., but I’m talking baseline expectations.

I’m guessing by the comments I need to lower it. What’s a realistic salary I should expect?

[Anonymous]

Men are STRUGGLING. Half of them are porn/video games addicts who can barely function or hold down a job. Look up the stats on college graduation rates as well as employment. Women are beating men by every metric. It's hard but dont settle. Youre only asking for the bare minimum, but sadly many men cant even do that nowadays. Thats why the 4b movement is growing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. My DH makes less than me, always has. We met in college. My age group is hitting the divorce zone. There are no guarantees. Go for someone with the right personality who will be a good dad if you want kids. It's sexist to insist that your partner make equal or more money. What you want is someone who shares your values and will be a good partner. Many high-powered men have wives who are public school teachers. Would you flip that script? Why/why not?

OP here. I’m an ideal world I would work PT or quit to care for my future children until they’re in school. My husband would need to make enough in this economy. Money doesn’t go that far anymore and $100k is the new middle class income. I want a nice home in a good area, private school, and the ability to find an extracurricular activities my kids would want to do. All that takes a certain level of income.

Ok now you’re asking for something unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. My DH makes less than me, always has. We met in college. My age group is hitting the divorce zone. There are no guarantees. Go for someone with the right personality who will be a good dad if you want kids. It's sexist to insist that your partner make equal or more money. What you want is someone who shares your values and will be a good partner. Many high-powered men have wives who are public school teachers. Would you flip that script? Why/why not?

OP here. I’m an ideal world I would work PT or quit to care for my future children until they’re in school. My husband would need to make enough in this economy. Money doesn’t go that far anymore and $100k is the new middle class income. I want a nice home in a good area, private school, and the ability to find an extracurricular activities my kids would want to do. All that takes a certain level of income.

Much of what drives up the cost of a home in a "good" area is the quality of the public schools there. Since you seem set on private schools anyway maybe you can settle for a nice home in a decent area and lower your income requirement somewhat.

OP here. When I say “ good” I mean safe. Public schools are just not very good in most areas. I feel like quality of education is extremely poor and would want the option to send to private school if desired.