New hire thinks pushback is due to implicit bias

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad bosses are all the same. White men who are truly bad bosses don’t get away with it—their staff leave and complain too. They may get softer landings though. Find her an off ramp if you can. Also, do not discuss this with her anymore. HR needs to deal with it.

I disagree. Incompetent or mediocre white men rise to the top of the ranks. They get away with it all the time.

[Anonymous]

I am very happy to read that the white woman brought this issue up. I wish our workplaces were safe spaces to discuss these things without risking a job, a lawsuit, or offering black women a pathway to better leadership. I often think black women leaders feel they need to overcompensate and lead with an iron fist. This is a cultural way to gain respect. 

My recommendation is to send this leader to training or hire a black leadership coach who can serve as a liaison to say the hard things that the white woman can't or is afraid to say. Leadership coaches are supposed to hit the sore spots. I had an Asian male as a leadership coach, and I am a black woman. I really enjoyed his perspectives, approaches, and neutral observations. He was often in situations where racial bias was overwhelmingly obvious. He mastered handling it without creating tension. I learned so much from him and have excelled in many areas. White men and women live in a different reality, and these comments that demand that you fire her or try a legal approach prove how most white people address conflict or tension.

I think this leader has potential, and her austere exterior might be the perfect approach for a different type of team. Figure out how to get the most out of her that is best for your organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad bosses are all the same. White men who are truly bad bosses don’t get away with it—their staff leave and complain too. They may get softer landings though. Find her an off ramp if you can. Also, do not discuss this with her anymore. HR needs to deal with it.

I disagree. Incompetent or mediocre white men rise to the top of the ranks. They get away with it all the time.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.

So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad bosses are all the same. White men who are truly bad bosses don’t get away with it—their staff leave and complain too. They may get softer landings though. Find her an off ramp if you can. Also, do not discuss this with her anymore. HR needs to deal with it.

I disagree. Incompetent or mediocre white men rise to the top of the ranks. They get away with it all the time.

But, does that mean we should race to the bottom? It is disheartening to see anyone get away with treating people poorly. It needs to be addressed in every case, not excused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.

Then get lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very happy to read that the white woman brought this issue up. I wish our workplaces were safe spaces to discuss these things without risking a job, a lawsuit, or offering black women a pathway to better leadership. I often think black women leaders feel they need to overcompensate and lead with an iron fist. This is a cultural way to gain respect. 

My recommendation is to send this leader to training or hire a black leadership coach who can serve as a liaison to say the hard things that the white woman can't or is afraid to say. Leadership coaches are supposed to hit the sore spots. I had an Asian male as a leadership coach, and I am a black woman. I really enjoyed his perspectives, approaches, and neutral observations. He was often in situations where racial bias was overwhelmingly obvious. He mastered handling it without creating tension. I learned so much from him and have excelled in many areas. White men and women live in a different reality, and these comments that demand that you fire her or try a legal approach prove how most white people address conflict or tension.

I think this leader has potential, and her austere exterior might be the perfect approach for a different type of team. Figure out how to get the most out of her that is best for your organization.

OP again. Thank you, PP. This is the thing: I actually like her a lot and think she is super-talented! I want her to succeed and be the superstar she can be. I just don't know how to talk to her about this. It would be easier if we knew each other better, and some trust had been built up, but we don't have that relationship. I don't want to make things worse, but don't know if there is any way to make them better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I’m looking for some advice about handling a tricky workplace situation. We recently hired a new senior manager, who is a black woman. She is supervising a diverse team, and has been breaking a lot china in her first few months on the job, leading to a lot of unhappiness and complaints from her staff. She has also been ignoring various institutional processes. She is very smart and very capable, but she tends to spend a lot of time telling everyone else how important and smart she is, and not a lot of time listening.

As her supervisor, I finally had to have a hard conversation with her, a very similar conversation to one I have had over the years with many others, in which I told her she’s great, and has a wonderful ideas, but that we need her to do a little bit more listening and checking in with people before she charges ahead on things. She did not take this well, and responded with a long email saying that she thinks the pushback she is getting, both from her staff, and from me, is due to the implicit bias people have about working with a black woman in a leadership position. (I am a white woman.)

I don’t for a moment dispute the fact that black women face all kinds of micro aggression and bias that white men or women would not. And, of course, telling someone their behavior is affected by implicit unconscious bias is a non-rebuttable proposition. However, this woman is doing what I have seen many other people, black, white, male, and female, do over the years, which is alienating everyone around her by grandstanding and being heavy-handed, instead of turning her staff into her allies and supporters.

Any thoughts on how to respond to her? On the one hand, I don’t want to do anything that further convinces her that all criticism is coming out of unconscious racial bias on the other hand, I don’t think the existence of racism in the world should be a free pass for anyone to be a jerk in the workplace, which is frankly what she is doing. Advice?

How do you know it isn’t racism or implicit bias? You can’t say for sure what it is.

And you can't say for sure this employee isn't just a horrible manager.

[Anonymous]

Listen to the staff. It’s that simple. Shit rolls downhill. Let the bias stuff go. You can support her professionally by giving her the tools to change, or finding her something else. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Either have the direct reports formally document their 360 feedback, or have them directly talk to someone else (your supervisor or HR).

But I agree there is probably some implicit/unconscious bias causing the direct reports to be much less tolerant of directness from black woman than they would from a white man, and similarly you (or me) to be much less tolerant of pushback from a black woman than a white man.

The way I have tried to deal with this (as an Asian women) is to be assertive but couch things in soft and “I think…” type language. You could call it assimilation/working within the system/propagating a bad system. But fwiw, I try to speak as softly at home and when I succeed it leads to more pleasant interactions with my family.

[Anonymous]

Why are people assuming this is just about being “too direct”?

Doesn’t sound that way. Sounds like this person is not listening to her staff, and annoying her peers.

[Anonymous]

Time to call HR, pronto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is if she was a white man she would be considered assertive.

We do judge women, especially black women, differently when they are assertive.

Men use direct language and women use collaborative language. When a woman uses direct language they are called aggressive.

She is right, your feedback is based on unconscious bias. So now what do you do?

Also listing the thing she does to support your unconscious bias is called confirmation bias.

Everybody has bias. It’s fine, relax.

This article may help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-women-called-aggressive-while-men-assertive-limor-bergman-nfmfc#:~:text=Stereotypes%20and%20Gender%20Norms%3A&text=Meanwhile%2C%20men%20are%20expected%20to,being%20labeled%20as%20%22aggressive.%22

She needs to be aware that her communication has intention and impact and because of unconscious bias people don’t receive her message as she intends. Her intention and impact do not line up. Sure it’s not fair that people are emotionally traumatized when women are assertive but you can’t change that.

As for the staff. They sound like they are simply going through storming and norming process. This happens to every new team. She is making changes and people are acting like babies. Obviously you can’t say that.

If you are unaware of what storming forming norming performing is this explains it.

https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performing

Take the emotion out of the conversation.

She wants them to do X they want to do Y. Unless they can show value at not doing it her way they need to suck it up.

You also need to manage the storming stage better I’m sure you can google it.

You have no idea what this person has said or done though. If her behavior is aberrational (versus the response to her behavior) then it’s easy to show that this isn’t bias. Some people are just jerks.

Nothing in OP’s post shows that.

She’s making changes and people don’t like it BFD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.

So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.

It’s not difficult to read and educate yourself. It’s not the job of black or old to educate white people. It’s exhausting, they’d literally be educating 24x7.

We have enough resources that we can’t expect black peoples to constantly educate.