New hire thinks pushback is due to implicit bias

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is if she was a white man she would be considered assertive.

We do judge women, especially black women, differently when they are assertive.

Men use direct language and women use collaborative language. When a woman uses direct language they are called aggressive.

She is right, your feedback is based on unconscious bias. So now what do you do?

Also listing the thing she does to support your unconscious bias is called confirmation bias.

Everybody has bias. It’s fine, relax.

This article may help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-women-called-aggressive-while-men-assertive-limor-bergman-nfmfc#:~:text=Stereotypes%20and%20Gender%20Norms%3A&text=Meanwhile%2C%20men%20are%20expected%20to,being%20labeled%20as%20%22aggressive.%22

She needs to be aware that her communication has intention and impact and because of unconscious bias people don’t receive her message as she intends. Her intention and impact do not line up. Sure it’s not fair that people are emotionally traumatized when women are assertive but you can’t change that.

As for the staff. They sound like they are simply going through storming and norming process. This happens to every new team. She is making changes and people are acting like babies. Obviously you can’t say that.

If you are unaware of what storming forming norming performing is this explains it.

https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performing

Take the emotion out of the conversation.

She wants them to do X they want to do Y. Unless they can show value at not doing it her way they need to suck it up.

You also need to manage the storming stage better I’m sure you can google it.

Wow, storming, forming, norming, performing -- thanks for taking me way back to my early 90s management consulting life!

Regurgitating buzzwords from management consulting seminars isn't helpful.

[Anonymous]

I got berated this week by a white man at work. I did not consider him assertive. I thought he was unprofessional and bad at his job and hr agreed.

The idea that white men are considered ‘assertive’ across the board when behaving poorly is false. That for too long people across the board have been allowed to behave poorly in the workplace is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Please reflect hard on this. What would the reactions be to this person if they were a white man who was doing the exact things she was doing?

In most situations, a white man would 'get away' with the same behaviors because he would be less likely to be questioned, even if he made people uncomfortable and resentful.

This is OP. I have had virtually the same conversations with multiple white males. That's a huge part of my job: dealing with obnoxious people who treat others badly, and trying to find tactful ways to communicate to them that this is not okay. I completely agree that white men often get a pass for behavior that is considered abrasive in women, and especially in black women. But in this particular case, I really don't think that is what is going on. What she's doing is actually pretty egregious.

So tell her that. "I want you to know I hear what you are saying, and I have considered it, but in this instance you are off-base. I have had the same conversation with x number of people before, many of whom were white males (or females or whatever). Specifically, here are the issues I am seeing which are not just "behavior" but actual violations of our policy ...."

No. No. No.

Holy cow you stepped in it

I hear what you are saying is fine… the rest is unbelievably off base.

I hear what you’re saying and you’re right I’m sure you are dealing with a ton of bias. We need to find a way to get the work done despite the teams inability to receive your message.

I’d talk about how she needs to empower her staff to make their own decisions and she shouldn’t change set policy until she talks to you or has at least been there 6 months.

I would consult with legal before saying this. Sounds like you’re setting the company up for a lawsuit.

Why the eye roll? That's absolutely correct.

[Anonymous]

We need to stop promoting by color. It begets more promoting by color. It’s a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got berated this week by a white man at work. I did not consider him assertive. I thought he was unprofessional and bad at his job and hr agreed.

The idea that white men are considered ‘assertive’ across the board when behaving poorly is false. That for too long people across the board have been allowed to behave poorly in the workplace is true.

Oh please, it was probably a legit criticism or positive criticism, yet because it was a white man you automatically assume racism and that he must somehow be 'mediocre'.

You can thank Dems and liberals for this modern day disaster in the working world. Everyone is always right, no one is ever wrong, and whenever you get pushback it must be because of your race rather than your crappy performance. Race is now injected into everything because Americans are complete dumbasses and everything is about identity, identity, identity, race, race, race, and individualism, individualism, individualism.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.

So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.

It’s not difficult to read and educate yourself. It’s not the job of black or old to educate white people. It’s exhausting, they’d literally be educating 24x7.

We have enough resources that we can’t expect black peoples to constantly educate.

I'm sorry, this "it's not my job to educate you" business is such crap. What exactly is your theory of change?

We're all in this together. This country. If your attitude towards well-meaning people asking for help understanding oppression is "f* off, it's not my job to educate you," guess what? Things ain't gonna change. Things change when people show empathy and share experiences and perspectives. Going off in a huff just reinforces stereotypes and fosters ill will. It may make you feel better, but it makes the world worse.

I would have agreed with PP’s post a few months back. However I have witnessed unconscious bias more frequently (now that I can actually identify it) and have patiently addressed each instance without judgement or blame. But it occurred to me that POC, but ESPECIALLY Black people, can’t always be asked to be the patient ones, the understanding ones, the wise ones, when people are going through serious pain and they are the ones bearing most of that pain! It’s unfair, unkind and selfish to constantly expect those who are witnessing the crime (to use an analogy) perpetrated against them or others to point out TO the criminal the wrongdoing, hope the criminal doesn’t take offense and fire them, while smiling all the while. THINK long and hard what you are asking of people before you start casting stones.

What you just described sounds a lot like Restorative Justice. If it is good enough for our children.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.

So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.

It’s not difficult to read and educate yourself. It’s not the job of black or old to educate white people. It’s exhausting, they’d literally be educating 24x7.

We have enough resources that we can’t expect black peoples to constantly educate.

I'm sorry, this "it's not my job to educate you" business is such crap. What exactly is your theory of change?

We're all in this together. This country. If your attitude towards well-meaning people asking for help understanding oppression is "f* off, it's not my job to educate you," guess what? Things ain't gonna change. Things change when people show empathy and share experiences and perspectives. Going off in a huff just reinforces stereotypes and fosters ill will. It may make you feel better, but it makes the world worse.

I would have agreed with PP’s post a few months back. However I have witnessed unconscious bias more frequently (now that I can actually identify it) and have patiently addressed each instance without judgement or blame. But it occurred to me that POC, but ESPECIALLY Black people, can’t always be asked to be the patient ones, the understanding ones, the wise ones, when people are going through serious pain and they are the ones bearing most of that pain! It’s unfair, unkind and selfish to constantly expect those who are witnessing the crime (to use an analogy) perpetrated against them or others to point out TO the criminal the wrongdoing, hope the criminal doesn’t take offense and fire them, while smiling all the while. THINK long and hard what you are asking of people before you start casting stones.

No one is expecting anyone to teach them how to be a better person. But I would recommend against putting your effort into telling someone, "Hey I think you're wrong but I won't tell you why," because this line of critique is extremely ineffective and unpersuasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh.

DEI expert, with direct experience in transformative change management and EEO compliance.

A couple of things:

1. What was the senior manager hired to do? If she was brought in specifically to innovate, then yeah, the existing team is going to have some feelings.

2. How was the team performing prior to her hire?

3. As a Black woman in leadership, I have to constantly remind people that my opinion is based upon my expertise. And that I am quite literally an expert in my field with decades of experience. This comes up when people who are not qualified to make leadership calls in my area of work want to debate a course of action and expect that I take those points seriously. It’s insulting and generally only happens to black women. Think junior analyst sending an email to the COO to question a leadership call. And the c-suite team responding with “well, that is an interesting point…”….when the point that was being made is something along the lines of peanut butter is better with jam than honey, but the discussion was about Justice 40 policy implications on federal procurement.

4. Unless the new hire is doing something unethical or illegal, stay out of it. The team doesn’t get to go around her because they don’t like the marching orders. You allowing that to happen IS undermining a new leader, and unless you’ve done EXACTLY the same thing with other challenging managers, that’s a liability area of risk for the company.

5. Be VERY careful with a PIP. What resources or supports have you offered this new leader? If you go to a PIP before trying to address any support areas, after she raised the issue of bias…be prepared for a retaliation claim.

6. IME, nice progressive types never think they are being biased or racist. Being nice is not the opposite of being racist. And some of the most egregious behaviors I’ve seen professionally came from nice progressives.

7. OP some of your posts read a bit…paternalistic…which I bet lands in similar ways in person. I think that you think you’re doing the right things, but again liability and risk. I strongly encourage you to speak with your general counsel, because you should treat the allegations of racially motivated bias which is discrimination of a protected class as a formal complaint.

If you think the phenomenon of junior men expecting very senior women experts to engage with them on their uneducated points is something that generally only happens to black women, you are both deeply biased and dismissively blind to the experiences of non-black women. This is something all women experts deal with professionally on a regular basis. I agree black women likely have it worse than women of other races, but to say that it generally only happens to black women is wildly ignorant.

You are correct that OP needs to engage legal, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a terrible hire and employee who'll cause a mass exodus from your company.


This is what happens when idiot companies use DEI rather than qualifications for hiring people.

Newsflash: people can be terrible employees no matter what race they are. There are terrible employees who are white, black, Asian, Indian, Hispanic.....people cannot use their race to hide behind when they're performing terribly.

WTAF? You think this woman was hired just because she’s black?

She's clearly an awful employee. The interviewers should have easily picked up on her awful EQ and management abilities, which should have immediately disqualified her for the role. Yet she got the job somehow. How exactly does that happen then? DEI initiatives and quotas, that's how.

Right. Clearly the only reason. Because no white male was ever hired and turned out to be abrasive.

This isn’t implicit bias, it’s explicit.

+1000. The pp is astonishingly tone-deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need to stop promoting by color. It begets more promoting by color. It’s a nightmare.

It was done to counter the white male mediocrity hiring nightmare. You stop first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fire her immediately

Textbook retaliation/reprisal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need to stop promoting by color. It begets more promoting by color. It’s a nightmare.

Yes. White promotes white promotes white promotes white. It really is a problem.

[Anonymous]

I have had managers like her and it’s been awful. So many people leave. I had one new manager who would scream and scream and then when I politely asked her not to yell (I’m a soft spoken introvert and she was trying to bully me), she accused me of racism. Luckily my coworkers were all listening closely and stood up for me. She told HR that black women yell and I needed to get used to it. Hell no. I went to another manager immediately (a black woman!).

I find that the best managers listen closely and talk to their subordinates for 1-3 months before making changes. I’ve seen wild changes happen by women managers and they did it with grace. Never yelling, no rudeness and they just moved people around behind closed doors.

You all might say you’ve had male managers who scream but I’ve never experienced it. All the male managers I work with are really great, so are the majority of women. Women haven’t been the kindest to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to stop promoting by color. It begets more promoting by color. It’s a nightmare.

Yes. White promotes white promotes white promotes white. It really is a problem.

It’s gone pretty well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got berated this week by a white man at work. I did not consider him assertive. I thought he was unprofessional and bad at his job and hr agreed.

The idea that white men are considered ‘assertive’ across the board when behaving poorly is false. That for too long people across the board have been allowed to behave poorly in the workplace is true.

Oh please, it was probably a legit criticism or positive criticism, yet because it was a white man you automatically assume racism and that he must somehow be 'mediocre'.

You can thank Dems and liberals for this modern day disaster in the working world. Everyone is always right, no one is ever wrong, and whenever you get pushback it must be because of your race rather than your crappy performance. Race is now injected into everything because Americans are complete dumbasses and everything is about identity, identity, identity, race, race, race, and individualism, individualism, individualism.

No, dummy, Im white too.
My point was to rebut the idea that a white male behaving obnoxiously at work would be considered ‘assertive’ rather than an issue.

And believe me it wasn’t legit - or even a criticism. It was someone with zero emotional regulation incapable of handling an everyday workplace conversation with any degree of professionalism and resorting to abusive language