New hire thinks pushback is due to implicit bias

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?

It is possible some of the posters who have already responded are black.

[Anonymous]

Do not get in further conversations where you engage at all with her bias accusations. Document them. Don't try to talk her out of them. Make this HR's job.

[Anonymous]

It's a total catch 22. Criticize her and she thinks it shows you're an unconscious racist. Agree and you are accepting that you are a racist. Try to show you're not criticizing her because you're an unconscious racist, and your denial is just more evidence of your unconscious racism.

I don't know, OP. I wish I had some ideas!

[Anonymous]

On the flip side, if this woman posted here I think people would tell her she may well be right about implicit bias but she has to change it up regardless. At minimum, she's turning off her team and needs to adjust to their working style. I think that's what any rational person would tell themselves if they self reflected in her situation. So that tells me she cannot be reasoned with and is prepping her lawsuit and EEO complaints.

[Anonymous]

The reality is if she was a white man she would be considered assertive.

We do judge women, especially black women, differently when they are assertive.

Men use direct language and women use collaborative language. When a woman uses direct language they are called aggressive.

She is right, your feedback is based on unconscious bias. So now what do you do?

Also listing the thing she does to support your unconscious bias is called confirmation bias.

Everybody has bias. It’s fine, relax.

This article may help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-women-called-aggressive-while-men-assertive-limor-bergman-nfmfc#:~:text=Stereotypes%20and%20Gender%20Norms%3A&text=Meanwhile%2C%20men%20are%20expected%20to,being%20labeled%20as%20%22aggressive.%22

She needs to be aware that her communication has intention and impact and because of unconscious bias people don’t receive her message as she intends. Her intention and impact do not line up. Sure it’s not fair that people are emotionally traumatized when women are assertive but you can’t change that.

As for the staff. They sound like they are simply going through storming and norming process. This happens to every new team. She is making changes and people are acting like babies. Obviously you can’t say that.

If you are unaware of what storming forming norming performing is this explains it.

https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performing

Take the emotion out of the conversation.

She wants them to do X they want to do Y. Unless they can show value at not doing it her way they need to suck it up.

You also need to manage the storming stage better I’m sure you can google it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a total catch 22. Criticize her and she thinks it shows you're an unconscious racist. Agree and you are accepting that you are a racist. Try to show you're not criticizing her because you're an unconscious racist, and your denial is just more evidence of your unconscious racism.

I don't know, OP. I wish I had some ideas!

You are not racist simply because you have unconscious bias. Everyone has it.

[Anonymous]

Please reflect hard on this. What would the reactions be to this person if they were a white man who was doing the exact things she was doing?

In most situations, a white man would 'get away' with the same behaviors because he would be less likely to be questioned, even if he made people uncomfortable and resentful.

[Anonymous]

One other thing you stated she changes “ ignoring various institutional processes”

It is reasonable to say the following for decision…

You either make a decision , delegate the decision or deliberate.

When changing long standing policies, she should deliberate… which means she should discuss it with you unless it’s super low stakes.

[Anonymous]

Okay hang on, 20:25. Sure, everyone has unconscious bias. But imagine a thought experiment in which multiple employees (some white, some black, some male, some female) did exactly the same problematic thing. Say they each raised their voice in a staff meeting and rolled their eyes dismissively during a more junior person's presentation, and they each ignored the same company rules about how to do some particular thing. Say the same supervisor sent the exact same email to each of them, saying they need to watch how they interact with staff and that they need to stop ignoring company rules. In this thought experiment, literally everything in the employees behavior and the supervisor's email is identical. The only variable is the race and gender of the employee being taken to task.

None of the employees likes receiving this negative feedback. All of them feel it's unfair and mean. The only black female employee asserts that she would not have received this negative feedback but for the supervisors's unconscious racial bias.

In this scenario, she is just plain wrong.

[Anonymous]

Bad bosses are all the same. White men who are truly bad bosses don’t get away with it—their staff leave and complain too. They may get softer landings though. Find her an off ramp if you can. Also, do not discuss this with her anymore. HR needs to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please reflect hard on this. What would the reactions be to this person if they were a white man who was doing the exact things she was doing?

In most situations, a white man would 'get away' with the same behaviors because he would be less likely to be questioned, even if he made people uncomfortable and resentful.

This is OP. I have had virtually the same conversations with multiple white males. That's a huge part of my job: dealing with obnoxious people who treat others badly, and trying to find tactful ways to communicate to them that this is not okay. I completely agree that white men often get a pass for behavior that is considered abrasive in women, and especially in black women. But in this particular case, I really don't think that is what is going on. What she's doing is actually pretty egregious.

[Anonymous]

Given that she’s a senior manager I’d put this back on her to come up with a plan on how to run her team more effectively. Be open to ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is if she was a white man she would be considered assertive.

We do judge women, especially black women, differently when they are assertive.

Men use direct language and women use collaborative language. When a woman uses direct language they are called aggressive.

She is right, your feedback is based on unconscious bias. So now what do you do?

Also listing the thing she does to support your unconscious bias is called confirmation bias.

Everybody has bias. It’s fine, relax.

This article may help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-women-called-aggressive-while-men-assertive-limor-bergman-nfmfc#:~:text=Stereotypes%20and%20Gender%20Norms%3A&text=Meanwhile%2C%20men%20are%20expected%20to,being%20labeled%20as%20%22aggressive.%22

She needs to be aware that her communication has intention and impact and because of unconscious bias people don’t receive her message as she intends. Her intention and impact do not line up. Sure it’s not fair that people are emotionally traumatized when women are assertive but you can’t change that.

As for the staff. They sound like they are simply going through storming and norming process. This happens to every new team. She is making changes and people are acting like babies. Obviously you can’t say that.

If you are unaware of what storming forming norming performing is this explains it.

https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performing

Take the emotion out of the conversation.

She wants them to do X they want to do Y. Unless they can show value at not doing it her way they need to suck it up.

You also need to manage the storming stage better I’m sure you can google it.

You have no idea what this person has said or done though. If her behavior is aberrational (versus the response to her behavior) then it’s easy to show that this isn’t bias. Some people are just jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I’m looking for some advice about handling a tricky workplace situation. We recently hired a new senior manager, who is a black woman. She is supervising a diverse team, and has been breaking a lot china in her first few months on the job, leading to a lot of unhappiness and complaints from her staff. She has also been ignoring various institutional processes. She is very smart and very capable, but she tends to spend a lot of time telling everyone else how important and smart she is, and not a lot of time listening.

As her supervisor, I finally had to have a hard conversation with her, a very similar conversation to one I have had over the years with many others, in which I told her she’s great, and has a wonderful ideas, but that we need her to do a little bit more listening and checking in with people before she charges ahead on things. She did not take this well, and responded with a long email saying that she thinks the pushback she is getting, both from her staff, and from me, is due to the implicit bias people have about working with a black woman in a leadership position. (I am a white woman.)

I don’t for a moment dispute the fact that black women face all kinds of micro aggression and bias that white men or women would not. And, of course, telling someone their behavior is affected by implicit unconscious bias is a non-rebuttable proposition. However, this woman is doing what I have seen many other people, black, white, male, and female, do over the years, which is alienating everyone around her by grandstanding and being heavy-handed, instead of turning her staff into her allies and supporters.

Any thoughts on how to respond to her? On the one hand, I don’t want to do anything that further convinces her that all criticism is coming out of unconscious racial bias on the other hand, I don’t think the existence of racism in the world should be a free pass for anyone to be a jerk in the workplace, which is frankly what she is doing. Advice?

How do you know it isn’t racism or implicit bias? You can’t say for sure what it is.