Emotional needs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a recurrent complaint that married men are often not able to meet the emotional needs of their wives. Is it because men just don’t care? Or it because men don’t understand and/or know how to address those emotional needs?

Often, and I'll get hate for this, it's because how they are treated by their wives. A man isn't going to be loving and caring when his wife is attacking him for everything he does. This is in particular when she's a SAHM and he goes two work to support the family. Yes, SAHM is work also but when the attacks come he doesn't feel appreciated for what he brings to the table - which is a lot because it literally pays the bills.

Therefore, it's a snowball effect. Wife doesn't appreciate husband. Husband feels resentful. Both don't show affection. Both assume it's the other spouse's job to show affection.

[Anonymous]

We just need to stop thinking a douse fulfills all our needs. They don’t. They never will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just need to stop thinking a douse fulfills all our needs. They don’t. They never will.

+1

And just because you're not emotionally settled doesn't mean they're the cause of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife complains emotional needs aren't met. Husband complains there are too many emotional needs. Husband complains not enough sex and intimacy. Wife complains too many sex and intimacy needs.

It's a classic issues of a mismatch where instead of working together and empathizing people dig their heels in and convinced they're right. And don't give a crap about their spouse.

That’s why some religions exist. To teach people to think beyond themselves, to hold others in grace, to help your loved ones. Judaism holds women in high esteem. Catholicism teaches kindness acts and respect.

+2

+3

But it's becoming popular to bow to the god of self-love. "I am enough."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife complains emotional needs aren't met. Husband complains there are too many emotional needs. Husband complains not enough sex and intimacy. Wife complains too many sex and intimacy needs.

It's a classic issues of a mismatch where instead of working together and empathizing people dig their heels in and convinced they're right. And don't give a crap about their spouse.

That’s why some religions exist. To teach people to think beyond themselves, to hold others in grace, to help your loved ones. Judaism holds women in high esteem. Catholicism teaches kindness acts and respect.

+1

And no false gods ($$, yourself, vices)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a recurrent complaint that married men are often not able to meet the emotional needs of their wives. Is it because men just don’t care? Or it because men don’t understand and/or know how to address those emotional needs?

Often, and I'll get hate for this, it's because how they are treated by their wives. A man isn't going to be loving and caring when his wife is attacking him for everything he does. This is in particular when she's a SAHM and he goes two work to support the family. Yes, SAHM is work also but when the attacks come he doesn't feel appreciated for what he brings to the table - which is a lot because it literally pays the bills.

Therefore, it's a snowball effect. Husband only works and checks out at home. Wife doesn't appreciate husband. Husband feels resentful. Both don't show affection. Both assume it's the other spouse's job to show affection.

You missed Step 1 of ruining your marriage. Here it is.

(Paycheck + Neglect) does not = Provider

[Anonymous]

Many religions are to counter the selfishness and greed in human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just need to stop thinking a spouse fulfills all our needs. They don’t. They never will.

+1

And just because you're not emotionally settled doesn't mean they're the cause of it.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many religions are to counter the selfishness and greed in human nature.

Lol

[Anonymous]

It's a mismatch re: expectations. A huge mismatch. Find what you need elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a mismatch re: expectations. A huge mismatch. Find what you need elsewhere.

I am not sure that my DH will be happy with me finding what I need elsewhere. The sex will have to go elsewhere to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a mismatch re: expectations. A huge mismatch. Find what you need elsewhere.

I am not sure that my DH will be happy with me finding what I need elsewhere. The sex will have to go elsewhere to.

^ too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many religions are to counter the selfishness and greed in human nature.

Lol

lOL (yes, that's a reverse-lol)

[Anonymous]

As long as your wife is not complaining about Peter doing xyz with Kathy and you guys aren’t you are good. When she goes down the rabbit hole of comparing relationships and is depressed about it, look for the nearest exit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a recurrent complaint that married men are often not able to meet the emotional needs of their wives. Is it because men just don’t care? Or it because men don’t understand and/or know how to address those emotional needs?

Often, and I'll get hate for this, it's because how they are treated by their wives. A man isn't going to be loving and caring when his wife is attacking him for everything he does. This is in particular when she's a SAHM and he goes two work to support the family. Yes, SAHM is work also but when the attacks come he doesn't feel appreciated for what he brings to the table - which is a lot because it literally pays the bills.

Therefore, it's a snowball effect. Husband only works and checks out at home. Wife doesn't appreciate husband. Husband feels resentful. Both don't show affection. Both assume it's the other spouse's job to show affection.

You missed Step 1 of ruining your marriage. Here it is.

(Paycheck + Neglect) does not = Provider

Neglect is doing a lot of work. Not sure we are agree on what that means.