Emotional needs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife complains emotional needs aren't met. Husband complains there are too many emotional needs. Husband complains not enough sex and intimacy. Wife complains too many sex and intimacy needs.

It's a classic issues of a mismatch where instead of working together and empathizing people dig their heels in and convinced they're right. And don't give a crap about their spouse.

That’s why some religions exist. To teach people to think beyond themselves, to hold others in grace, to help your loved ones. Judaism holds women in high esteem. Catholicism teaches kindness acts and respect.

[Anonymous]

OP some women also don’t make it easy. Women are already emotional because of hormones. Now combined that with women who had some type of traumatic childhood experience and never went to therapy for it. These women make the lives of their husbands and kids absolute hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband meets my emotional needs because he is in touch with his emotions. Most men are not.

Men are “in touch with their emotions” they just don’t want to talk about them all the time like women do. It bores them.

We don’t talk about them because women take 2/3 of the space. They make it clear their needs come first in the way they approach us. When we open up a bit, they somehow make it about themselves. I am referring to my wife. Perhaps she is the odd one. But it’s been my experience. We are in therapy and again she is taking 2/3 of the space in therapy. I’m just exhausted. Sorry for ranting and hijacking the discussion.

So you picked your wife with your d*ck, and it's her fault.

She is not the odd one. You did not choose wisely and most men don't. She is who she has always been. You pretended to be cool with it, and now you realize you can't keep up.

Women know what they want and they are vocal about their expectations before marriage. Men choose with their d*cks and agree with whatever the women want to get the women and then later claim that the woman is suffocating them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband meets my emotional needs because he is in touch with his emotions. Most men are not.

Men are “in touch with their emotions” they just don’t want to talk about them all the time like women do. It bores them.

We don’t talk about them because women take 2/3 of the space. They make it clear their needs come first in the way they approach us. When we open up a bit, they somehow make it about themselves. I am referring to my wife. Perhaps she is the odd one. But it’s been my experience. We are in therapy and again she is taking 2/3 of the space in therapy. I’m just exhausted. Sorry for ranting and hijacking the discussion.

Speak up more then.

When someone is always a passive, unreative, unproactive bump on a log, everyone around them will “take up the space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a recurrent complaint that married men are often not able to meet the emotional needs of their wives. Is it because men just don’t care? Or it because men don’t understand and/or know how to address those emotional needs?

is there one clear definition of emotional needs? are these needs consistent over time? If the answers to those question are no, you now have some sense of how many men have difficulty in being supportive. It's not impossible of course, but it's certainly not easy when one is not [intuitively] programmed along those lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband meets my emotional needs because he is in touch with his emotions. Most men are not.

Men are “in touch with their emotions” they just don’t want to talk about them all the time like women do. It bores them.

We don’t talk about them because women take 2/3 of the space. They make it clear their needs come first in the way they approach us. When we open up a bit, they somehow make it about themselves. I am referring to my wife. Perhaps she is the odd one. But it’s been my experience. We are in therapy and again she is taking 2/3 of the space in therapy. I’m just exhausted. Sorry for ranting and hijacking the discussion.

Speak up more then.

When someone is always a passive, unreative, unproactive bump on a log, everyone around them will “take up the space.

+1. Stop playing the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband meets my emotional needs because he is in touch with his emotions. Most men are not.

Men are “in touch with their emotions” they just don’t want to talk about them all the time like women do. It bores them.

We don’t talk about them because women take 2/3 of the space. They make it clear their needs come first in the way they approach us. When we open up a bit, they somehow make it about themselves. I am referring to my wife. Perhaps she is the odd one. But it’s been my experience. We are in therapy and again she is taking 2/3 of the space in therapy. I’m just exhausted. Sorry for ranting and hijacking the discussion.

Speak up more then.

When someone is always a passive, unreative, unproactive bump on a log, everyone around them will “take up the space.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Kids and teens have emotional needs and they are constantly changing and maturing.

What do fathers do for them?

Hopefully build confidence and support them, get them to see the big picture, and get them the proper help when needed.

Not punt it to Mom. not invalidate. Not ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband meets my emotional needs because he is in touch with his emotions. Most men are not.

Men are “in touch with their emotions” they just don’t want to talk about them all the time like women do. It bores them.

This is PP you're responding to and neither of us talks very much about our emotions; that would be weird. We are attuned to one another. And we care about each other's happiness (which seems to be an ingredient missing from many relationships!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband meets my emotional needs because he is in touch with his emotions. Most men are not.

Men are “in touch with their emotions” they just don’t want to talk about them all the time like women do. It bores them.

We don’t talk about them because women take 2/3 of the space. They make it clear their needs come first in the way they approach us. When we open up a bit, they somehow make it about themselves. I am referring to my wife. Perhaps she is the odd one. But it’s been my experience. We are in therapy and again she is taking 2/3 of the space in therapy. I’m just exhausted. Sorry for ranting and hijacking the discussion.

So you picked your wife with your d*ck, and it's her fault.

She is not the odd one. You did not choose wisely and most men don't. She is who she has always been. You pretended to be cool with it, and now you realize you can't keep up.

Women know what they want and they are vocal about their expectations before marriage. Men choose with their d*cks and agree with whatever the women want to get the women and then later claim that the woman is suffocating them.

Alternatively, this guy ain’t connecting with anyone and wants every one to shut up and not speak. Unless work related! No personal or life topics allowed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a recurrent complaint that married men are often not able to meet the emotional needs of their wives. Is it because men just don’t care? Or it because men don’t understand and/or know how to address those emotional needs?

I think most men care but don't know how to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife complains emotional needs aren't met. Husband complains there are too many emotional needs. Husband complains not enough sex and intimacy. Wife complains too many sex and intimacy needs.

It's a classic issues of a mismatch where instead of working together and empathizing people dig their heels in and convinced they're right. And don't give a crap about their spouse.

That’s why some religions exist. To teach people to think beyond themselves, to hold others in grace, to help your loved ones. Judaism holds women in high esteem. Catholicism teaches kindness acts and respect.

+2

[Anonymous]

Also most women have too many needs which aren't real but to related to social influence and subconsciously competing with others.

[Anonymous]

*not real means not truly important to them but seems important because others are doing it

[Anonymous]

Every young person should get education to understand their own and other people's basic emotional needs, ways to communicate and skills to find solutions.