Behavior in DD's school/grade

[Anonymous]

OP - many catholic schools have a consider population that are neither catholic nor christian. I would def look into schools in your area and just do a tour. You may be very surprised what you see.(or DON'T see)

[Anonymous]

OP: It could be an issue with the entire school, but I wouldn’t write it off as “each classroom is like this”. Our DC was in a similar environment one year and that’s what we kept hearing from the school stuff: “each classroom is like this”. After I started openly discussing with other parents, I found out that this was not the case in other classrooms (same grade). We ended up switching to a different classroom because the chaos was too much for DC to handle and it was aggravating unrelated health issues. Once we changed classroom, DC’s experience changed dramatically. It was like being at a different school. Unfortunately, public schools just don’t have enough resources to deal with certain types of behavior and, sometimes, they cannot openly admit what is going on. I feel equally bad for teachers and students.

[Anonymous]

We had this experience too and moved our 3rd grader to private. Unruly kids are counseled out.

[Anonymous]

This is what happens when you promote inclusivity and don't have enough money to provide aides and pull outs for the children with behavioral and language issues. They go hand in hand but nobody is willing to fund it.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you just get stuck with a really bad cohort and the terrible thing is that it lasts for six years in elementary school. Third grade in my school is particularly bad too. I definitely think it’s some lingering Covid effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's tough. I honestly don't know if my son's school is like this, but I worked at a nearby elementary and it was much like you describe. And yes, it was depressing at times. I have volunteered at my son's school and they were able to sit and listen to a story, and I haven't seen too much chaos at lunch time, but who knows.

When I was growing up... I think I seem to remember there were always THOSE problem kids. Usually kids who had severe issues or were thought to be medicated due to hyperactivity, but they were a handful of kids in the entire school and everybody knew who they were. The behavior issues seem much more widespread now, unless that's just my nostalgia.

Yes. No idea what happened. I went to a decent public school district K-12 and I cannot recall anyone swearing at the teachers, throwing things, being destructive, fighting frequently or any of the out of control behaviour that is happening in most public schools now. In high school the worst that happened was kids loitering in the halls, trying to sneak out of school early once they could drive, sleeping in class. There was maybe one fight I remember hearing about. I never witnessed one, that is for sure. Even the “bad” kids (which were only a handful) weren’t really that bad at all by today’s standards.

OP, you have to get her out of public school. We are atheist and I’d put my child in a catholic private school if that was the only option to get her away from this. Our public schools are like yours. No one am I going to have my child in a class like that and have those bad behaviours normalized. No child should have to learn in that environment. We did private K-6 with little no behavioural issues that I witnessed or heard about. My kids went back to public for middle school on, but they were mature, well behaved, and able to distinguish that a lot of kids have problems. They ignore the bad behaviour, find the kids that are like-minded, and carry on. Plus at middle level and up, classes start to separate by academic abilities. Generally, the honors and AP classes have fewer trouble makers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you just get stuck with a really bad cohort and the terrible thing is that it lasts for six years in elementary school. Third grade in my school is particularly bad too. I definitely think it’s some lingering Covid effects.

I don’t buy Covid excuses. These third graders have been in school for over 2 years now

[Anonymous]

These are kids that bore the brunt of covid school closures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you just get stuck with a really bad cohort and the terrible thing is that it lasts for six years in elementary school. Third grade in my school is particularly bad too. I definitely think it’s some lingering Covid effects.

I don’t buy Covid excuses. These third graders have been in school for over 2 years now

But the 3rd graders missed out on K, where the majority of behavioral expectations are set. They likely didn’t learn much in K either, so 1st and 2nd were a lot of catch up work. If you consider that they missed K, and then 1st was a bunch of makeup work and basic expectation setting for kids who hadn’t been in a group setting in many months … they’re probably still dealing with some after effects and will continue to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catholic school. Kids that mouth off are sent to the principal for insubordination. This can only happen so many times before they are asked to leave.

Do their knuckles get rapped too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you just get stuck with a really bad cohort and the terrible thing is that it lasts for six years in elementary school. Third grade in my school is particularly bad too. I definitely think it’s some lingering Covid effects.

I don’t buy Covid excuses. These third graders have been in school for over 2 years now

But the 3rd graders missed out on K, where the majority of behavioral expectations are set. They likely didn’t learn much in K either, so 1st and 2nd were a lot of catch up work. If you consider that they missed K, and then 1st was a bunch of makeup work and basic expectation setting for kids who hadn’t been in a group setting in many months … they’re probably still dealing with some after effects and will continue to do so.

Not covid’s fault. There are just a lot of terrible parents. Any child with half decent parents could show up to school at any point and not swear, wait their turn, follow simple directions, not be destructive. This has nothing to do with Covid and everything to do with parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you just get stuck with a really bad cohort and the terrible thing is that it lasts for six years in elementary school. Third grade in my school is particularly bad too. I definitely think it’s some lingering Covid effects.

I don’t buy Covid excuses. These third graders have been in school for over 2 years now

But the 3rd graders missed out on K, where the majority of behavioral expectations are set. They likely didn’t learn much in K either, so 1st and 2nd were a lot of catch up work. If you consider that they missed K, and then 1st was a bunch of makeup work and basic expectation setting for kids who hadn’t been in a group setting in many months … they’re probably still dealing with some after effects and will continue to do so.

Not covid’s fault. There are just a lot of terrible parents. Any child with half decent parents could show up to school at any point and not swear, wait their turn, follow simple directions, not be destructive. This has nothing to do with Covid and everything to do with parenting.

I agree. I work with several elementary grades and no grade is specifically socially impacted by Covid — there are kids with significant negative behaviors throughout the grades, and also perfectly lovely classes throughout the grades.

[Anonymous]

My DS' grade was like this in 1st grade before covid. When I spoke to his teacher about "the kid who was flipping chairs all over the classroom and we had to leave", she said she couldn't get an aide or assistant because two of the other classes in the grade were *worse*. Then covid happened and some of the most troubled kids left. Things have settled down for the most part.

I can say that if things had continued with that cohort of kids, though, we probably would have tightened belts and made the jump to private.

My advice to OP is to make sure you send factual emails to the principal. Nothing inflammatory, but just saying "This and this and this happened and it's affecting my child's ability to learn and enjoy school." My MIL was a kindergarten teacher and had a really problematic student one year. When she talked to the principal about getting help, he said "Can't be that big of a problem - none of the parents have complained." This was a desk-flipping, smear-poop-on-the-wall kid. So be vocal! Don't let them sweep it under the rug!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens when you promote inclusivity and don't have enough money to provide aides and pull outs for the children with behavioral and language issues. They go hand in hand but nobody is willing to fund it.

This is what happens when parents no longer do their job. Didn't need to used to have an army of people to keep order in school. Why should we fund schools for this when we could simply bring back discipline and consequences. Call the parents to come pick their kids up when they act up and watch how fast those kids get with the program.

[Anonymous]

Op here. So I don’t but the Covid excuse either… mostly because we were (are) in the Midwest and most schools were open at least hybrid for their kindergarten year. Our district actually was one that wasn’t, but they opened for the second semester. I sent her to private kindergarten due to this and really wish we’d stayed. However, even the schools nearby that opened in full in fall 2020 are having these issues. I’m not sure what it is. Probably super lax parenting?