Behavior in DD's school/grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you just get stuck with a really bad cohort and the terrible thing is that it lasts for six years in elementary school. Third grade in my school is particularly bad too. I definitely think it’s some lingering Covid effects.

I don’t buy Covid excuses. These third graders have been in school for over 2 years now

Exactly. If anything it's the PARENTS who were the most dysregulated during stay at home. That's why kids weren't properly parented.

Mind-blowing and accurate observation. Parents in our very nice neighborhood and at our private school went off the rails during stay at home. I’m on the west coast, and where I live there were constant day drinking parties, shipping the kids off to grandparents’ houses during virtual school for months so they could go solo to wine country or the desert, or parents working full time at home but not having any childcare for very young kids. The kids are a mess at school, but the adults are even worse in how they chafe at expectations. I don’t know how we unwind this mess.

100% this. Parents acted like the world was out to get them because they actuallly had to spend time with kids. I'm not talking parents who were essential workers. I'm talking parents who worked at home all day (2 parent household, both at home). It's like they were pissed because they weren't classified as "important"/essential, and they actually had to parent

+1,000. And with their endless gushing of faux concern for “the poor kids.” BS. They were in hysterics because they had to deal with their OWN KIDS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here: most kids lack good families to raise them…this is the result.

So are millennial/Gen-X parents just really poor parents compared to their boomer parents? Is that really what it comes down to? I just don't recall my friends parents being super-involved in the 80s either, there were lots of latchkey kids. But the vast majority weren't going apesh-t at school.

This is what I don't get. My parents were SUPER lax in the 80s. They didn't teach me manners, they hardly taught me anything. We had a "go outside and play and come home when it gets dark" upbringing. I feel like I learned manners sort of through osmosis at school? Also there were strict expectations at school -- you had to say please and thank you, you couldn't talk back, if you fought with other kids, you'd get in trouble. Not corporal punishment but like detention or sent to the principal. We didn't want those things so we complied.

I think one reason my parents did so little parenting is that we got it at school. I remember being taught to tie my shoes and brush my teeth in preschool. My parents definitely didn't teach me those things. My parents were so lax that stuff the schools didn't teach me (like swimming and riding a bike), I simply didn't learn. But I have good manners. Though not with my parents! I used to talk back to my parents so much! Never to teachers, but my parents were so lax I could say anything to them and never really got in trouble. Or sometimes I'd get in trouble but only after they said worse things to me than I said them, so I didn't learn anything. Again, I learned it at school.

Not saying millennial/Gen X parents don't have issues with parenting. But I can tell you I spend way more time actually parenting than my parents did. I've tought my kid all kinds of stuff that my parents never discussed with me, including stuff like polite manners, keeping hands to yourself, walking away from conflicts rather than engaging, being respectful to teachers and other minders, etc. Also practical things like how to brush teeth or tie shoes. Schools don't teach this stuff anymore, not even the expensive private preschool I sent my kid to for ages 3 and 4. Schools want kids to show up with this knowledge. They also expected my kid to show up with basic literacy skills for K, so I taught that too.

Not the PP, but I definitely think the shifting expectations at school has not helped. In the 80s we all went to half day kindergarten and spent most of the day playing, not sitting. Those who complain about kids not being able to sit still should take a step back and ask how we got here rather than just blame it on parents. Maybe kindergarten and 1st grade shouldn’t be so intense to begin with.

No, sorry. Plenty of kids are succeeding in kindergarten. They aren’t asked to “sit still” nonstop all day. Many kids can do and are doing what the teacher asks of them.

It’s parenting.

Op here. My DD was one that did fine in kindergarten… even during Covid… even as a very newly turned 5 year old. I think it was partially parenting, but more than that (or equally) it was that she went to a very strong preschool starting at 2.5. Additionally, they were a somewhat old school preschool compared to many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

Check yourself

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/more-140000-us-children-lost-primary-or-secondary-caregiver-due-covid-19-pandemic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are at a religious school even though we are not very religious (and one parent is a different religion). It’s not too heavy-handed with religion and the environment is much calmer and more orderly. We are having a good experience. If you can swing that lower tuition, many go and visit some schools. The environment you describe is not healthy for our kid.

+1 I would move my kid to a Catholic school in a heartbeat given that environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

Check yourself

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/more-140000-us-children-lost-primary-or-secondary-caregiver-due-covid-19-pandemic

DP. The average poster HERE is not in that cohort and we all goddamned know it. Signed - someone who lost a grandparent to COVID, and yet managed to parent a child in K at the start of the pandemic with zero of the generalized jerkoff behaviors identified by the OP and others willing to call it what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

Check yourself

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/more-140000-us-children-lost-primary-or-secondary-caregiver-due-covid-19-pandemic

DP. The average poster HERE is not in that cohort and we all goddamned know it. Signed - someone who lost a grandparent to COVID, and yet managed to parent a child in K at the start of the pandemic with zero of the generalized jerkoff behaviors identified by the OP and others willing to call it what it is.

Oh im sorry. I didn’t realize you did a census of DCUM posters and compared them to the study

And btw, based on your response, your kids clearly were exposed to some toxicity by you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

Check yourself

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/more-140000-us-children-lost-primary-or-secondary-caregiver-due-covid-19-pandemic

DP. The average poster HERE is not in that cohort and we all goddamned know it. Signed - someone who lost a grandparent to COVID, and yet managed to parent a child in K at the start of the pandemic with zero of the generalized jerkoff behaviors identified by the OP and others willing to call it what it is.

Oh im sorry. I didn’t realize you did a census of DCUM posters and compared them to the study

And btw, based on your response, your kids clearly were exposed to some toxicity by you

Oh no, let me apologize! Did your kids lose your husband and both sets of grandparents? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize that you weren’t just argumentative and excuse-making but a poor and suffering soul.

I don’t know if you realize this - you could parent your sh!tbeasts, it’ll be an amazing change of pace. You wouldn’t get pissy about people describing horrendous kids because it might not describe yours for once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

Check yourself

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/more-140000-us-children-lost-primary-or-secondary-caregiver-due-covid-19-pandemic

DP. The average poster HERE is not in that cohort and we all goddamned know it. Signed - someone who lost a grandparent to COVID, and yet managed to parent a child in K at the start of the pandemic with zero of the generalized jerkoff behaviors identified by the OP and others willing to call it what it is.

Oh im sorry. I didn’t realize you did a census of DCUM posters and compared them to the study

And btw, based on your response, your kids clearly were exposed to some toxicity by you

Oh no, let me apologize! Did your kids lose your husband and both sets of grandparents? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize that you weren’t just argumentative and excuse-making but a poor and suffering soul.

I don’t know if you realize this - you could parent your sh!tbeasts, it’ll be an amazing change of pace. You wouldn’t get pissy about people describing horrendous kids because it might not describe yours for once.

First lost a grandparent. Now it's husband and both sets of grandparents. Oh ok. got it.

[Anonymous]

The behavior was going south pre-pandemic. Don't blame it on Covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is behaviorally challenging and I'll tell you why. We lost several family members due to COVID and I am an ICU nurse so she didn't see me much. It wasn't just the screens. Maybe for the banana bread crew, but not all of us were.

If true, your case is a rare unicorn. That is NOT the cause of ill-behaved kids in school in 99.9999999% of cases. No.

Check yourself

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/more-140000-us-children-lost-primary-or-secondary-caregiver-due-covid-19-pandemic

DP. The average poster HERE is not in that cohort and we all goddamned know it. Signed - someone who lost a grandparent to COVID, and yet managed to parent a child in K at the start of the pandemic with zero of the generalized jerkoff behaviors identified by the OP and others willing to call it what it is.

Oh im sorry. I didn’t realize you did a census of DCUM posters and compared them to the study

And btw, based on your response, your kids clearly were exposed to some toxicity by you

Oh no, let me apologize! Did your kids lose your husband and both sets of grandparents? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize that you weren’t just argumentative and excuse-making but a poor and suffering soul.

I don’t know if you realize this - you could parent your sh!tbeasts, it’ll be an amazing change of pace. You wouldn’t get pissy about people describing horrendous kids because it might not describe yours for once.

First lost a grandparent. Now it's husband and both sets of grandparents. Oh ok. got it.

I didn’t say that was my situation, ya utter gobshite. (“Now you’re posting like you’re from abroad huhhhhhh??”) Is it your situation? Of course not. Did you lose anyone? No. Oh, so you were part of a cohort where most were essential workers without redundancy in childcare? No. But…you think *this* parenting board is largely frequented by people in professions deemed essential? No, unless you’re an absolute idiot. So, you’re offended because you know you don’t have COVID as a basis for lazy-assed parenting to a wack-assed kid or kids. Oh, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The behavior was going south pre-pandemic. Don't blame it on Covid.

As you see above you, people will let go of the COVID excuse never.

[Anonymous]

A lot of decently educated parents are teaching their kids that the school system is a nefarious institution created for the purpose of producing mindless bots who will do whatever the corporate overlords want. They teach them that not doing what is asked of them in school, like being quiet, is some kind of social justice activism. Not all parents do this, obviously, but enough that it creates classrooms that are utterly unmanageable for even the best teachers.

It's kind of amazing how careful these people are to be kind to service workers but then they teach their kids to treat educators like absolute trash and to focus only on themselves and their needs in a classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of decently educated parents are teaching their kids that the school system is a nefarious institution created for the purpose of producing mindless bots who will do whatever the corporate overlords want. They teach them that not doing what is asked of them in school, like being quiet, is some kind of social justice activism. Not all parents do this, obviously, but enough that it creates classrooms that are utterly unmanageable for even the best teachers.

It's kind of amazing how careful these people are to be kind to service workers but then they teach their kids to treat educators like absolute trash and to focus only on themselves and their needs in a classroom.

The idea of back talking showing independent thinking or activism is prevalent in our very well-regarded UMC elementary school. It’s crazy. I know DD’s teacher hates it, and tells kids to little avail to not speak in certain tones and so forth. But she’s not getting any backup from the parents in class.

[Anonymous]

Is it a title 1 school? A lot also depends on how big the class is.