if you found a way to let over the top grandparent gift giving go, tell me how you did it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

Obviously she's not going to stop so you'll have to find a way to cope or let go of the anger. If she was going to stop she would have done so by now. So why keep getting mad about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still struggle. MIL has said to DD, “Price is no object.” I don’t want to raise DD to think that is normal. I don’t want DD thinking up extravagant gifts and targeting MIL for them. I don’t want the best gifts coming from MIL rather than us or Santa (well, Santa is no more, but it used to be a real source of anger for DH and me that his mom would always try to give the best and biggest gifts).

MIL is incredibly superficial and a huge shopaholic. It is something I dread every Christmas and is a huge source of stress for DH and me. She knows it, doesn’t care, and carries on.

Everyone's lives would be easier if you just let it go and let MIL do this and let dd experience it. It is ok, really.

+1

You are trying to compete for your child’s affection and it isn’t necessary. Let your MIL do the ridiculous stuff. Let her buy the ridiculous stuff. You and your DH can be the practical balance.

Why do you and your DH need to give the biggest and best gift? What do you get from that?

I don’t get that vibe from OP at all.
Look it’s very easy for grandparents to do the fun stuff and buy and wrap gifts. It’s the parents who have to pick the shit up and sort through masses of toys all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

Obviously she's not going to stop so you'll have to find a way to cope or let go of the anger. If she was going to stop she would have done so by now. So why keep getting mad about it?

I’m not mad. I’m simply responding to the question “what’s the worst that can happen” as posed on a discussion board to all those who seem to flippantly say the OP is uptight and grandmas gonna grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Well then you’d “suspect” wrong. Overconsumption is gross. All these people gonna jump on me for having 7 kids and how terrible it is for the environment are now defending massive amounts of unwanted toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Well then you’d “suspect” wrong. Overconsumption is gross. All these people gonna jump on me for having 7 kids and how terrible it is for the environment are now defending massive amounts of unwanted toys.

I mean, 5 gifts for one or two children is very different than 5 gifts each for 7 children. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. Just donate all the gifts, the end. Then they are no longer unwanted, and MIL can throw her hissy fit if she chooses--that's her choice. Or make the kids trade out old stuff for the new stuff. Or say all their toys must fit in these X baskets or on these Y shelves, and let them pick what stays and goes.

No one is saying tons of stuff is great, we're just saying it's not worth energy to be upset over when it's an easy problem to resolve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Well then you’d “suspect” wrong. Overconsumption is gross. All these people gonna jump on me for having 7 kids and how terrible it is for the environment are now defending massive amounts of unwanted toys.

I mean, 5 gifts for one or two children is very different than 5 gifts each for 7 children. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. Just donate all the gifts, the end. Then they are no longer unwanted, and MIL can throw her hissy fit if she chooses--that's her choice. Or make the kids trade out old stuff for the new stuff. Or say all their toys must fit in these X baskets or on these Y shelves, and let them pick what stays and goes.

No one is saying tons of stuff is great, we're just saying it's not worth energy to be upset over when it's an easy problem to resolve.

Again, I’m not looking for your advice which you seemed determined to give (kind of like OPs unwanted gifts!). I’ve got it handled. I was answering the question posed in a previous post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Aww. That’s the Christmas spirit, pp.

[Anonymous]

We have one Grandmother who only gives boring educational gifts (come on, what 10 year old wants a Sudoku book for Xmas?)

And one grandmother who gives 1 regular gift to the grandchild, but still SHOWERS her child (my partner) with gifts.

It's super weird. Each child opens the one gift from grandma (and usually a good gift), but then my partner settles in and opens 6-8 gifts in a row. So strange

[Anonymous]

I really stopped buying things throughout the year which was a way I used to get joy but I had to let that go!.... Now I only get my kids things that we actually need or that are very seasonal. That will not be out again when I need it...... I keep a running list and I provide that two family members who are looking for ideas... I also strongly encourage experience type gifts.... I've got several people on board that way.... We've gotten movie tickets, children's museum membership, horseback riding lessons, ski lessons and an art class... I always take pictures during the activity to send the person who gave it..... What they really like to see is the joy on a child's face and so letting them know how much that gift was. Loved and enjoyed. Keeps them doing it year after year. My kids have gotten older. I have also strongly encouraged magazine, subscriptions or book club subscriptions.... Kids get something in the mail every month and I send a picture of them reading it to the person who sent the subscription

[Anonymous]

The grandparents have always been generous with paying for everything but gave appropriate gifts for everyone. When my daughter started college, which they paid for, they gave her $30,000 for Christmas.

I wasn’t happy about that at all. But I’m not about to tell them what to do with their money and my daughter was now an adult so I accepted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Request that they contribute to the kids’ college fund instead. Send them the link. Say, Larla really doesn’t need another 400 plastic toys, but in 15 years, she’s really not going to want student loans.

It’s so precious that you think this will work with these moms/MILs. Truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Well then you’d “suspect” wrong. Overconsumption is gross. All these people gonna jump on me for having 7 kids and how terrible it is for the environment are now defending massive amounts of unwanted toys.

I mean, 5 gifts for one or two children is very different than 5 gifts each for 7 children. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. Just donate all the gifts, the end. Then they are no longer unwanted, and MIL can throw her hissy fit if she chooses--that's her choice. Or make the kids trade out old stuff for the new stuff. Or say all their toys must fit in these X baskets or on these Y shelves, and let them pick what stays and goes.

No one is saying tons of stuff is great, we're just saying it's not worth energy to be upset over when it's an easy problem to resolve.

Again, I’m not looking for your advice which you seemed determined to give (kind of like OPs unwanted gifts!). I’ve got it handled. I was answering the question posed in a previous post.

Neat. It’s a public message board and they can respond to you as then see fit, so you should probably work on accepting that rather than whining, just like the Christmas toys. And yes, I can respond too, whether you “asked for my advice” or not.

Please get so very much over yourself. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one Grandmother who only gives boring educational gifts (come on, what 10 year old wants a Sudoku book for Xmas?)

And one grandmother who gives 1 regular gift to the grandchild, but still SHOWERS her child (my partner) with gifts.

It's super weird. Each child opens the one gift from grandma (and usually a good gift), but then my partner settles in and opens 6-8 gifts in a row. So strange

Your partner needs to say something to their mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Well then you’d “suspect” wrong. Overconsumption is gross. All these people gonna jump on me for having 7 kids and how terrible it is for the environment are now defending massive amounts of unwanted toys.

I mean, 5 gifts for one or two children is very different than 5 gifts each for 7 children. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. Just donate all the gifts, the end. Then they are no longer unwanted, and MIL can throw her hissy fit if she chooses--that's her choice. Or make the kids trade out old stuff for the new stuff. Or say all their toys must fit in these X baskets or on these Y shelves, and let them pick what stays and goes.

No one is saying tons of stuff is great, we're just saying it's not worth energy to be upset over when it's an easy problem to resolve.

Again, I’m not looking for your advice which you seemed determined to give (kind of like OPs unwanted gifts!). I’ve got it handled. I was answering the question posed in a previous post.

Neat. It’s a public message board and they can respond to you as then see fit, so you should probably work on accepting that rather than whining, just like the Christmas toys. And yes, I can respond too, whether you “asked for my advice” or not.

Please get so very much over yourself. DP

It’s very clear you’re the same poster and so ironic that with all of your “let it go” spirit, you really can’t.