if you found a way to let over the top grandparent gift giving go, tell me how you did it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

Obviously she's not going to stop so you'll have to find a way to cope or let go of the anger. If she was going to stop she would have done so by now. So why keep getting mad about it?

I’m not mad. I’m simply responding to the question “what’s the worst that can happen” as posed on a discussion board to all those who seem to flippantly say the OP is uptight and grandmas gonna grandma.

My bad. A person writing about how their child cries, and how completely overwhelmed the mom is really is just a chill laid back easy going type of person who is anything but mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the absolute worst that happens from it? DC’s room is packed with too much stuff for a few weeks until you clean it out?

It’s one day, one pile of things. A month from now you can donate it all if needed.

I’d feel differently if we lived in a tiny apartment, but DC has his own room so plenty of space to hold kiddy junk.

The worst that happens:
The gift giver asks to see it for the next two years every time they come to visit, and then throw a fit when you've trashed it. (My MIL)
The child cries every time you try to get rid of something? (my kids)
Mom is completely overwhelmed with the amount of clutter in the house and sick of picking shit up every night? (me)
Kids are spoiled and come to expect it?
Environmental reasons - total waste and plastic is ruining our world?

These are the reasons I don't like it. Sure, it's not the end of the world but usually it's the mom getting stuck with dealing with the disposal or pick up of it. It's really sucked the Christmas joy for me and made it about dealing with shit for a couple weeks afterwards.

How old is your kid? Because soon enough they won't play with toys. And get rid of the toys when they aren't looking, not right in front of them.

I have 7.l of various ages. Im perfectly capable, but why can’t we just have a conversation that it’s not welcome? My MIL is broke AND will ask me to get out a game she gave a year later. Just stop already. It’s gross.

I suspect you are stressed because you have 7 children, not because your MIL gives them more gifts than you would like.

Well then you’d “suspect” wrong. Overconsumption is gross. All these people gonna jump on me for having 7 kids and how terrible it is for the environment are now defending massive amounts of unwanted toys.

I mean, 5 gifts for one or two children is very different than 5 gifts each for 7 children. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. Just donate all the gifts, the end. Then they are no longer unwanted, and MIL can throw her hissy fit if she chooses--that's her choice. Or make the kids trade out old stuff for the new stuff. Or say all their toys must fit in these X baskets or on these Y shelves, and let them pick what stays and goes.

No one is saying tons of stuff is great, we're just saying it's not worth energy to be upset over when it's an easy problem to resolve.

Again, I’m not looking for your advice which you seemed determined to give (kind of like OPs unwanted gifts!). I’ve got it handled. I was answering the question posed in a previous post.

Neat. It’s a public message board and they can respond to you as then see fit, so you should probably work on accepting that rather than whining, just like the Christmas toys. And yes, I can respond too, whether you “asked for my advice” or not.

Please get so very much over yourself. DP

It’s very clear you’re the same poster and so ironic that with all of your “let it go” spirit, you really can’t.

It’s not, believe it or not. I replied to the mom of 7 once, but not the latter times. I think multiple people are just surprised that someone can be laid back enough to enjoy 7 kids but not laid back enough to handle gifts for them without being frustrated.

[Anonymous]

I frame it in the positive.

Surely grandparent happiness and desire to bring joy to grandkids can be looked at as a positive? No kid is excited on Christmas to get “college fund money”. It’s max 10 years of toys. Just buy less throughout the year so Christmas doesn’t overwhelm if it’s that hard.

And I hate stuff and love minimalism, so I’d never choose this, but it’s so sweet to see grandma get excited over finding something that makes grandkid light up, and grandkids love going to grandma’s and circling things in the Target catalog to give ideas. It’s a sweet phase of life I will miss one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still struggle. MIL has said to DD, “Price is no object.” I don’t want to raise DD to think that is normal. I don’t want DD thinking up extravagant gifts and targeting MIL for them. I don’t want the best gifts coming from MIL rather than us or Santa (well, Santa is no more, but it used to be a real source of anger for DH and me that his mom would always try to give the best and biggest gifts).

MIL is incredibly superficial and a huge shopaholic. It is something I dread every Christmas and is a huge source of stress for DH and me. She knows it, doesn’t care, and carries on.

Everyone's lives would be easier if you just let it go and let MIL do this and let dd experience it. It is ok, really.

+1

You are trying to compete for your child’s affection and it isn’t necessary. Let your MIL do the ridiculous stuff. Let her buy the ridiculous stuff. You and your DH can be the practical balance.

Why do you and your DH need to give the biggest and best gift? What do you get from that?

I don’t think you get it. MIL buys dozens and dozens of presents. Spends over $1k. It is a glut of stuff. Nobody needs to experience that because nobody needs that much stuff at once. Or to be given incredibly extravagant gifts as a young child. It’s not our values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ask for practical things now. Dc is getting literally almost 10k of furniture from grandparents. I have no complaints.

Yeah. My kid wants a gaming computer and an iPhone. I'd be thrilled to give my folks that gift list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still struggle. MIL has said to DD, “Price is no object.” I don’t want to raise DD to think that is normal. I don’t want DD thinking up extravagant gifts and targeting MIL for them. I don’t want the best gifts coming from MIL rather than us or Santa (well, Santa is no more, but it used to be a real source of anger for DH and me that his mom would always try to give the best and biggest gifts).

MIL is incredibly superficial and a huge shopaholic. It is something I dread every Christmas and is a huge source of stress for DH and me. She knows it, doesn’t care, and carries on.

Everyone's lives would be easier if you just let it go and let MIL do this and let dd experience it. It is ok, really.

+1

You are trying to compete for your child’s affection and it isn’t necessary. Let your MIL do the ridiculous stuff. Let her buy the ridiculous stuff. You and your DH can be the practical balance.

Why do you and your DH need to give the biggest and best gift? What do you get from that?

I don’t think you get it. MIL buys dozens and dozens of presents. Spends over $1k. It is a glut of stuff. Nobody needs to experience that because nobody needs that much stuff at once. Or to be given incredibly extravagant gifts as a young child. It’s not our values.

It makes her happy, stop being so small. Your “values” have nothing to do with how your MIL shops for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

My favorite part is when my parents criticize me for getting too many gifts for the kids and then give them piles and piles of gifts.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I will never understand all the posters saying to not worry about it and let it go.

Your kids are going to become materialistic and spoiled. When you let this happen year after year, they lose the true meaning of Christmas.

It’s a huge waste of money and a huge issue for the planet you all live on. What do you think happens to most of the toys you donate? Landfill for most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I will never understand all the posters saying to not worry about it and let it go.

Your kids are going to become materialistic and spoiled. When you let this happen year after year, they lose the true meaning of Christmas.

It’s a huge waste of money and a huge issue for the planet you all live on. What do you think happens to most of the toys you donate? Landfill for most.

Materialistic and spoiled because one day a year from one person they get 5 gifts? I don't think so. There are 364 other days to teach them that.

[Anonymous]

First world problem

[Anonymous]

My family sent my kids tons of junk toys just junk.

I would let the kids play with it all til they started back at school then moved to giant bin out of sight. By February trash.

Not like my MIL played with them ever with the toys so no one missed them..,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I will never understand all the posters saying to not worry about it and let it go.

Your kids are going to become materialistic and spoiled. When you let this happen year after year, they lose the true meaning of Christmas.

It’s a huge waste of money and a huge issue for the planet you all live on. What do you think happens to most of the toys you donate? Landfill for most.

You have failed as a parent if it all comes down to this one day. Live your values every other day of the year and take them to church on Christmas to remind them of the true meaning.

[Anonymous]

Leave some of the toys at grandmas house so they have things to play with when the visit. Or bring some toys to leave to swap with the new gifts.

[Anonymous]

My mother does this. Like 20 presents per child. Some are extravagant. It’s way, way overboard. My DH hates it. I hate it.

We are gracious and we accept it. I basically have never gotten my own child Christmas gifts, since I can’t see heaping more onto the pile, and we don’t do Birthday gifts (well, my mother sends them one of course).

We are just not materialistic. My kids have 1 day of the year where they get all these presents and the rest of the year they can save their allowance or earn money if there’s something they want. But most of the time there’s nothing they want! I don’t think the insane Christmases have spoiled them. They know it’s their grandmother’s thing.

Someday she’ll be gone and maybe we will miss it. But I don’t think I’ll be doing it if I have grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Must be nice