What human job would your pet have?

[Anonymous]

Sled Dog - Temperamental yet lovable baritone opera singer.

Howl is truly wolf-like. Insanely jealous of bass voices - will actually pick physical fights. Great admirer of ladies. Finds kids adorable (but liable to bowl them over).


Parrotlet - Queen Warrior of Death, Destroyer of Worlds

Tiny bird, much evil. Can draw blood with her hooked bill and sharp talons. A stack of important papers left on the table is just grist to her mill. On a whim, throws tantrums that ring in your ears long after they've ended. Stunning beauty, strictly external.


Gerbil brothers - the long distance runner (wheel category) and the architect (cardboard and paper).

The long distance runner is relaxed and amiable, and lives to run. He likes scritches in his neck and shoulder blades. The architect is a nervous wreck and processes all the paper and cardboard we can give him to relieve his feelings. He re-arranges the layout of his habitat daily, no doubt for Feng-shui, gerbil fashion. You give him the inner roll of toilet paper, turn around for one sec... and it's shredded.

[Anonymous]

Mine would be some sort of watch person in the military. She loves watching what’s going on outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sled Dog - Temperamental yet lovable baritone opera singer.

Howl is truly wolf-like. Insanely jealous of bass voices - will actually pick physical fights. Great admirer of ladies. Finds kids adorable (but liable to bowl them over).


Parrotlet - Queen Warrior of Death, Destroyer of Worlds

Tiny bird, much evil. Can draw blood with her hooked bill and sharp talons. A stack of important papers left on the table is just grist to her mill. On a whim, throws tantrums that ring in your ears long after they've ended. Stunning beauty, strictly external.


Gerbil brothers - the long distance runner (wheel category) and the architect (cardboard and paper).

The long distance runner is relaxed and amiable, and lives to run. He likes scritches in his neck and shoulder blades. The architect is a nervous wreck and processes all the paper and cardboard we can give him to relieve his feelings. He re-arranges the layout of his habitat daily, no doubt for Feng-shui, gerbil fashion. You give him the inner roll of toilet paper, turn around for one sec... and it's shredded.

That sounds like an exciting menagerie you have! I wish I had more pets.

[Anonymous]

Customer service! He has such a peaceful, positive and respectful demeanor no matter what temperaments he comes across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine would definitely be a mail carrier with a walking route. Rain, snow, sleet, and cold will not keep him indoors. He also is an expert in delivering packages, if shoes count.

And this is how you people spend your time! How do you even come up with this stuff? Mine would be unemployed because emotionally they are the age of toddlers

[Anonymous]

Security guard, gourmet food taster, greeter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog #1 is a librarian. The outside world is scary, he like his inside order and routine, but he loves when people visit.

Dog #2 is a gossip columnist. She’s all up in your business and she doesn’t care that most people find her annoying. In fact, she thrives on negative attention.

Cat #1 is an elderly, retired football player. His body is a wreck and he surely did some damage to his brain at some point. He takes it easy and now wears leisure suits.

Cat #2 is a home inspector. She’ll climb into every nook and cranny of your house, then pop up with bad news when you’re least expecting her. Almost always covered in spiderwebs.

This is fabulous. Glad they have each other and you!

[Anonymous]

Shopping Mall security guard.

[Anonymous]

Walmart greeter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always joke that the cat is our Supervisor, because he follows us around watching us do things and then inspecting our work when it's done. If he's pleased he'll lay down on it. If he's not he'll attack it.

I don't think he's suited for an actual job, but he'd make a great middle manager.

My husband always tells our dog that I have been doing laundry (or whatever other task I am headed to do) for years and that I don't need the dog's supervision! He loves to just follow me everywhere I go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog #1 is a librarian. The outside world is scary, he like his inside order and routine, but he loves when people visit.

Dog #2 is a gossip columnist. She’s all up in your business and she doesn’t care that most people find her annoying. In fact, she thrives on negative attention.

Cat #1 is an elderly, retired football player. His body is a wreck and he surely did some damage to his brain at some point. He takes it easy and now wears leisure suits.

Cat #2 is a home inspector. She’ll climb into every nook and cranny of your house, then pop up with bad news when you’re least expecting her. Almost always covered in spiderwebs.

14:04, I would read your book!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of those security guards who mostly sleeps and plays on his phone while on the job and panics if something actually happens.

Hahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Walmart greeter

Mine too! He loves all humans, does not discriminate! Doesn't want to do a lot of actual work.

[Anonymous]

Feline walmart greeter.
Cat #2: relaxation consultant

[Anonymous]

Is it someone's job to make messes that other people then test out cleaning products on? If so, my dog would like to apply.