How I Lost My Faith: A thread for atheist testimony

[Anonymous]

Raised Catholic, turned atheist. As a child, I found the order promised by the Church very appealing. I also loved the music and the “visuals”. However, the dogma just never clicked. My church was not one of love or service, but judgment and doing things for appearances.

Sexism was rampant, and I saw how that limited the lives of parishioners even at a young age. Our church was one of the many with documented child abuse, and when the time came to pay the judgments and settlements, the archdiocese pulled out of its neediest and oldest communities first and followed the money to the ‘burbs. The worst part of all is that no one even showed any self awareness of what they enabled - people still blame the victims and not the adults that harmed them. No remorse, no repentance whatsoever. Just sorry they got caught and bending over backwards to blame gay people for their pedophilia and moral failings.

I will say I do credit the church for instilling in me a hate for bullies and a strong sense of Justice. Their hypocrisy on those points really drove it home for me. The fact that they are now doubling down on the reproductive hellscape they fought for years really brings it home for me. There is no God, and I am convinced the leaders agree with me because otherwise they wouldn’t behave like they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

I think so, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

I think so, too.

I disagree.

Once you look objectively and see there is no evidence for god (by the definitions of god most used) there really is no ebb or flow.

It's actually wonderful, liberating, and permanent - at least until some evidence arises.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

I think so, too.

I disagree.

Once you look objectively and see there is no evidence for god (by the definitions of god most used) there really is no ebb or flow.

It's actually wonderful, liberating, and permanent - at least until some evidence arises.

But you still can't prove there is no God. Glad your beliefs work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

I think so, too.

I disagree.

Once you look objectively and see there is no evidence for god (by the definitions of god most used) there really is no ebb or flow.

It's actually wonderful, liberating, and permanent - at least until some evidence arises.

But you still can't prove there is no God. Glad your beliefs work for you.

Not making a claim there is no god, so don't have to prove it. You can't disprove a negative, as you know, which is why you can't prove there is no Odin. Also, I must correct you, lack of a belief is NOT itself a belief.

But can say there is insufficient evidence to warrant belief. Because there is insufficient evidence to warrant belief.

Please let's stay on topic here, this is a thread for atheists to give their testimony on how they finally broke away from their faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

I think so, too.

I disagree.

Once you look objectively and see there is no evidence for god (by the definitions of god most used) there really is no ebb or flow.

It's actually wonderful, liberating, and permanent - at least until some evidence arises.

But you still can't prove there is no God. Glad your beliefs work for you.

Not making a claim there is no god, so don't have to prove it. You can't disprove a negative, as you know, which is why you can't prove there is no Odin. Also, I must correct you, lack of a belief is NOT itself a belief.

But can say there is insufficient evidence to warrant belief. Because there is insufficient evidence to warrant belief.

Please let's stay on topic here, this is a thread for atheists to give their testimony on how they finally broke away from their faith.

+1. They don’t call it “faith” for nothing. It means you believe without proof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

I think so, too.

I disagree.

Once you look objectively and see there is no evidence for god (by the definitions of god most used) there really is no ebb or flow.

It's actually wonderful, liberating, and permanent - at least until some evidence arises.

I really doubt I'll ever believe in a deity again, but I was able to return to church and tie my wonderment at the universe into the practice of religion because I see the value in the community and practice. But that's with believing that the stories are just fables.

[Anonymous]

I was raised Catholic, but was the rebel child who questioned it all and often got in trouble in CCD for questioning things. Still I was forced to get confirmed because "you may want to get married in the church one day." Even then I knew I never would.

Then college came and I was sucked into a Christian cult. Spent 4 years in that where I became a believer and was even baptized. Looking back I think I was more lonely than anything and it gave me a sense of belonging and community. During my senior year I was almost kicked out of the cult for considering dating someone who wasn't a Christian, because he would "take me away from god."

Once college ended and I moved away from that group I became more of an agnostic. Married my husband who was not raised with religion and never really looked back on church. I like the idea of the community of a church and even now I find things that are comforting about a Catholic mass. I can see the appeal, but I just don't believe any of it. I don't believe in god, heaven or hell.

When my nephew died/was stillborn the first thing I said was "there really is no god." After that I was done.

Over recent years I have realized more and more that there is no god, that religion is just a means to control people and full of contradictions (god is good, yet he will send you to hell, a hell he created, simply because you don't spend your life worshipping him).

[Anonymous]

I know someone who left religion at age 60, when he decided to make a study of it -- and found that what he'd been taught as a kid was bunk.

I knew it was bunk as a kid. People are different. My friend is much smarter than me in most other ways.

[Anonymous]

Is it really loss of faith when you decide to stop trying to force yourself to have faith?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it really loss of faith when you decide to stop trying to force yourself to have faith?

I was a cradle Catholic. I recall attending a Latin Mass at a very young age, maybe 3 or 4. The bells, incense smoke, the stained glass windows, the veil on my head all contributed to putting me in a profound meditative state. I recalled the stories I'd heard about Jesus and, in that moment, felt total love and belief of Him. Immediately after my First Confession, I felt like I was floating up the Church aisle on my way to kneel and say my 10 Our Fathers and 10 Hail Marys. I

I also suffered neglect and abuse as a child from my parents. Religion and the Church were a haven for me. As I reached the age of reason, I started to question the tenets of Catholicism. I was punished by the Church and my parents. I lived with severe guilt. At 17 years old, I decided to remove guilt from my repertoire of emotions because I knew in my heart that I'd done nothing wrong. I put together that religion is a means to control just as my parent's physical and verbal abuse was meant to control me. I realized there is no god and that is okay with me. I sometimes miss Church and envy those who believe in a higher power because it helps them shoulder the burder of life. I am 100% responsible for my actions and words. I act and say things from my heart, not out of fears of Hell, but because I have to Live with my choices.

[Anonymous]

I have been an atheist since my second earliest memory of church, around age 4 or 5. I remember asking my parents about god back then and it seemed like such a farce. My parents are devout Christians and good people but their religiosity didn’t rub off. However I am planning to raise my children with some church upbringing because I have witnessed that teens raised as agnostic/atheist are more likely to be caught up in fundamentalist or new age cults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the 1960s and ‘70s by a Christian mother and Jewish father, both of whom were fairly religious. But they decided to raise my sister and me in both religions so that we could choose which we wanted as we grew older. However, both of us never became at all religious.

I guess I was always a skeptic. I remember as a little kid in Sunday school asking who invented God, and basically being told to be quiet. The older I got the less I wanted to believe in a god who let there be wars, starving babies, and other atrocities if he was all powerful. And if such a being existed, I did not want to praise or worship something that let terrible things happen.

so you live in a world of starving babies and wars, without a god.

Who do you blame for the starving babies and wars? This is not at all an argument or criticism of your beliefs. i promise. I am interested in who you blame for these terrible things?

Your response is classic religious pre-suppositionalism. It makes the assumption that there must be somebody supernatural to blame. Here’s something that you should find edifying: when you don’t believe in the supernatural being, you blame wars on the people who start them. you blame starving babies on the people who have the ability to stop a baby from starving and don’t.

That’s who you blame. The people responsible.

See how easy that was to answer?

+1 million. And I would argue that the worldview you espouse (blaming those actually responsible) would lead to a better society, to us evolving as a society and as humans, to a more peaceful world, to being able to eventually rise above the struggles and war and suffering. THIS is why religion is dangerous to humanity. It is a subtle but powerful idea.

You're conflating two things that are not mutually exclusive. You can be religious and put blame where it belongs, or be atheist and not put blame on those responsible. Ending religions clearly won't bring peace and end all struggles and suffering, because it doesn't change human nature at all. There has been oppression, scapegoating, and war in every society that has outlawed religion. Crack open a history book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an atheist who lost faith, and then found faith, after many years.

I think faith or lack of faith can ebb and flow.

This sounds like my story too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic, but was the rebel child who questioned it all and often got in trouble in CCD for questioning things. Still I was forced to get confirmed because "you may want to get married in the church one day." Even then I knew I never would.

Then college came and I was sucked into a Christian cult. Spent 4 years in that where I became a believer and was even baptized. Looking back I think I was more lonely than anything and it gave me a sense of belonging and community. During my senior year I was almost kicked out of the cult for considering dating someone who wasn't a Christian, because he would "take me away from god."

Once college ended and I moved away from that group I became more of an agnostic. Married my husband who was not raised with religion and never really looked back on church. I like the idea of the community of a church and even now I find things that are comforting about a Catholic mass. I can see the appeal, but I just don't believe any of it. I don't believe in god, heaven or hell.

When my nephew died/was stillborn the first thing I said was "there really is no god." After that I was done.

Over recent years I have realized more and more that there is no god, that religion is just a means to control people and full of contradictions (god is good, yet he will send you to hell, a hell he created, simply because you don't spend your life worshipping him).

The thoughts you've expressed are similar to those I had when I left church and later when I was an atheist throughout my 20s and mostly in my 30s. I ended up going back to church (Episcopal) because I missed the ritual, but didn't believe one bit of it at the time. I had no idea that there were theologians who already addressed these questions that nearly everyone has about faith. I realized that I hadn't been properly catechized, and addressing those gaps has been a big part of my journey back to faith.