How I Lost My Faith: A thread for atheist testimony

[Anonymous]

This thread is for atheists to tell their deconversion stories. Anyone offended should not read or participate. And I ask atheists to be as respectful as you can when telling your story.

I will start with my own:

Raised a Catholic, I don't think I have ever genuinely believed in the literal stories of the bible. Even as a kid they seemed to me to be tough to accept. Once I got older and learned what allegory was I could let go the constant questioning of facts... and I came to accept my Catholicism as a social construct rather than a religious one. I was Catholic, as were all my family and most of my friends. I continued to attend mass regularly and never spoke of the doubts I had about the faith. It was something I wanted to keep secret because I didn't want to "not belong"...

But then in college I studied lots of things, including a few world religion classes, and that helped me understand the role of religion in the world - and I realized that I did not need it, and that I should not pretend to believe if I did not. I realized also there were other non-believers and that being honest about my non-belief did not make me an outcast.

So I just stopped. Kinda just like that.

I didn't have a deist phase, or a "spiritual" phase, or anything similar. There were no traumatic events that happened to me personally turning me away from the church. It wasn't a big deal at all. To my slight surprise, it didn't bother many people in my family, and it is not an issue we ever discuss. I just don't go with them to church.

Bottom line: once I learned that non-belief was a legitimate option, I embraced it thoroughly. It did take the testimony of others to get me to understand that. That's why it will be helpful for others to hear yours now.

Again, not trying to offend any believers. This is my story of my religious journey - in this case OUT of religion - and I just wish to share it in the religion forum.

[Anonymous]

Can I post about how I became an atheist and then became religious?

[Anonymous]

I was a cradle Catholic. I went to Catholic school for the first few years of school. My second grade teacher was a nun. She was a fires of hell type of gal who forced me to write with my right hand (I'm a lefty), told me she was married to God and said I was going to hell because I didn't pray correctly. She also delivered lectures about girls saving their virginity for their husbands (we were 7 & 8)...I could go on. This laid a foundation of fear and shame. My parents stopped bringing me to church when I was 11, but I continued to pray. I began deprogramming myself when I was 17 because I couldn't live with the fear of hell and guilt anymore. I reasoned out that god only exists as a weapon to control people. I want to be in control of my life and I am. I do good because it's the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I fall under that "spiritual not religious" category now, so not totally on topic, but related.

Learning about all of the child sexual abuse and the apparatus that supported it going on right behind me really changed my view of organized religion. Also, that totally made-up story from the Bible that the priest told during a sermon when he wanted us to give more money to the parish. I did pay attention in religion class as a kid, and there are plenty that he could have told that would have been on message, but he went with a total fabrication.

I do still believe in God.

[Anonymous]

I was raised with a Christian mother and an agnostic father. I got quite into Christianity in my early teens. But by around 15 or so it was pretty obvious to me that the whole thing just couldn’t be true. There were so many religions, they all seemed to evolve organically out of their particular contexts, it just seemed apparent that they were silly and out of scale with the universe. I went through a phase where I couldn’t really understand how anyone with any intelligence could believe this stuff. Now I am older I am less judgmental. We all need some crutches to get through life. That said, from an intellectual perspective I still don’t really get it…

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear so many of my own experiences echoed in your story. I was raised by a Lutheran mother and a Catholic (but really atheist and anti-religion) father. We went to church on occasion when my mother felt like we should and always with protests from me, my brother, and my dad.

There were many things that I found beautiful about the idea of God - creation, humanity, the natural world, a loving and ever-present force in our lives. But most of the theology itself didn't make a lot of sense to me. I didn't (and still don't) understand the Trinity or Original Sin. The concept of a soul (and that animals lack one) was difficult for me as a dog-loving child. Heaven and Hell were not uplifting to me.

I became agnostic in middle school and high school, mostly based on politics and world events (9/11, Hurricane Katrina, Westboro Baptist protests, obnoxious anti-gay "Christians" at my school), but also my increasing understanding of science and the natural world.

I still think that religion can play a powerful role in peoples' lives as a tool for connection, community, and comfort. But I don't personally need it for that.

[Anonymous]

OP, Catholics are not Biblical literalists. I've come to the conclusion that most Catholic schools in the 70s and 80s did a terrible job teaching the religion. So many confused Catholics.

[Anonymous]

I was raised in the 1960s and ‘70s by a Christian mother and Jewish father, both of whom were fairly religious. But they decided to raise my sister and me in both religions so that we could choose which we wanted as we grew older. However, both of us never became at all religious.

I guess I was always a skeptic. I remember as a little kid in Sunday school asking who invented God, and basically being told to be quiet. The older I got the less I wanted to believe in a god who let there be wars, starving babies, and other atrocities if he was all powerful. And if such a being existed, I did not want to praise or worship something that let terrible things happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the 1960s and ‘70s by a Christian mother and Jewish father, both of whom were fairly religious. But they decided to raise my sister and me in both religions so that we could choose which we wanted as we grew older. However, both of us never became at all religious.

I guess I was always a skeptic. I remember as a little kid in Sunday school asking who invented God, and basically being told to be quiet. The older I got the less I wanted to believe in a god who let there be wars, starving babies, and other atrocities if he was all powerful. And if such a being existed, I did not want to praise or worship something that let terrible things happen.

so you live in a world of starving babies and wars, without a god.

Who do you blame for the starving babies and wars? This is not at all an argument or criticism of your beliefs. i promise. I am interested in who you blame for these terrible things?

[Anonymous]

Like many people, I read the Bible and found it at turns ridiculous and horrific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is for atheists to tell their deconversion stories. Anyone offended should not read or participate. And I ask atheists to be as respectful as you can when telling your story.

I will start with my own:

Raised a Catholic, I don't think I have ever genuinely believed in the literal stories of the bible. Even as a kid they seemed to me to be tough to accept. Once I got older and learned what allegory was I could let go the constant questioning of facts... and I came to accept my Catholicism as a social construct rather than a religious one. I was Catholic, as were all my family and most of my friends. I continued to attend mass regularly and never spoke of the doubts I had about the faith. It was something I wanted to keep secret because I didn't want to "not belong"...

But then in college I studied lots of things, including a few world religion classes, and that helped me understand the role of religion in the world - and I realized that I did not need it, and that I should not pretend to believe if I did not. I realized also there were other non-believers and that being honest about my non-belief did not make me an outcast.

So I just stopped. Kinda just like that.

I didn't have a deist phase, or a "spiritual" phase, or anything similar. There were no traumatic events that happened to me personally turning me away from the church. It wasn't a big deal at all. To my slight surprise, it didn't bother many people in my family, and it is not an issue we ever discuss. I just don't go with them to church.

Bottom line: once I learned that non-belief was a legitimate option, I embraced it thoroughly. It did take the testimony of others to get me to understand that. That's why it will be helpful for others to hear yours now.

Again, not trying to offend any believers. This is my story of my religious journey - in this case OUT of religion - and I just wish to share it in the religion forum.

The bolded is definitely something I remember too. I grew up generally christian, but not strict, not going to church, but my mom believed in god but we didnt really talk about it much. My neighbour was more religious and idk how but I ended up going to kids bible study, they gave me a bible etc. It just seemed so fanciful and I never really bought in. I couldn't come to terms with the blatant conflict with science (ie creationism). I remember at some point I was maybe 10-12 and my mom had asked me something and I told her I didn't believe in god. She locked herself in her room, went and found her old bible and cried into it (yes she was very dramatic). We'd literally never talked about it, said grace, or anything that seemed religious, but she was very upset by it. That also seemed weird to me. Like, this was so important to you that Ive broken your heart, but its basically the first time I'm hearing about it? Idk.

Where you talk about allegory, I think that made me further disenfranchised. How some stories are taken literally, how some are manipulated as a lesson, how some are ... etc etc. I grew up with very black/white thinking, so looking at this HUGE conglomerate cherry picking what to believe, what to enforce, etc did not really vibe with me. I think I've softened in my thinking as I've gotten older, but I've also realized how big of a manipulation tool it can be. I've also seen how the church is trying to modernize and reconcile with science, and somehow that doesnt sit right with me. If this is gods word, shouldn't that just be it? Why are you trying to update it? Oh right, because it's incorrect, and if people realize this they may leave, and you lose the power behind it.

[Anonymous]

I was raised Muslim (practicing, but not super conservative) I was in college, taking a gen-ed Religion 100 course, taught by a practicing Methodist minister. He was such a phenomenal teacher, that he was able to step outside his faith (or maybe use it?) to teach, objectively, why humans created religion. His premise was that humans have this desire to put order on chaos. We need to know. We need structure. We need patterns we can try to predict. Chaos for humans, is dangerous, and so we created religion to order the world.

From ancestor offering, to cave drawings, to contemporary religions - we are all constantly trying to order the chaos. Religion serves a purpose, but it's because humans created it for purposes.

It just clicked in my brain, like a veil was lifted, and I realized that ALL religion was manmade. I get why they created it, but it's so evidently a completely human creation. That was 22 years ago, and the idea that any creator god could evidently exist then, is just absurd to me today, as then. We created it all. Some of it for good, some of it for bad, but much of it to just make it through the day/week/month/year/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is for atheists to tell their deconversion stories. Anyone offended should not read or participate. And I ask atheists to be as respectful as you can when telling your story.

I will start with my own:

Raised a Catholic, I don't think I have ever genuinely believed in the literal stories of the bible. Even as a kid they seemed to me to be tough to accept. Once I got older and learned what allegory was I could let go the constant questioning of facts... and I came to accept my Catholicism as a social construct rather than a religious one. I was Catholic, as were all my family and most of my friends. I continued to attend mass regularly and never spoke of the doubts I had about the faith. It was something I wanted to keep secret because I didn't want to "not belong"...

But then in college I studied lots of things, including a few world religion classes, and that helped me understand the role of religion in the world - and I realized that I did not need it, and that I should not pretend to believe if I did not. I realized also there were other non-believers and that being honest about my non-belief did not make me an outcast.

So I just stopped. Kinda just like that.

I didn't have a deist phase, or a "spiritual" phase, or anything similar. There were no traumatic events that happened to me personally turning me away from the church. It wasn't a big deal at all. To my slight surprise, it didn't bother many people in my family, and it is not an issue we ever discuss. I just don't go with them to church.

Bottom line: once I learned that non-belief was a legitimate option, I embraced it thoroughly. It did take the testimony of others to get me to understand that. That's why it will be helpful for others to hear yours now.

Again, not trying to offend any believers. This is my story of my religious journey - in this case OUT of religion - and I just wish to share it in the religion forum.

The bolded is definitely something I remember too. I grew up generally christian, but not strict, not going to church, but my mom believed in god but we didnt really talk about it much. My neighbour was more religious and idk how but I ended up going to kids bible study, they gave me a bible etc. It just seemed so fanciful and I never really bought in. I couldn't come to terms with the blatant conflict with science (ie creationism). I remember at some point I was maybe 10-12 and my mom had asked me something and I told her I didn't believe in god. She locked herself in her room, went and found her old bible and cried into it (yes she was very dramatic). We'd literally never talked about it, said grace, or anything that seemed religious, but she was very upset by it. That also seemed weird to me. Like, this was so important to you that Ive broken your heart, but its basically the first time I'm hearing about it? Idk.

Where you talk about allegory, I think that made me further disenfranchised. How some stories are taken literally, how some are manipulated as a lesson, how some are ... etc etc. I grew up with very black/white thinking, so looking at this HUGE conglomerate cherry picking what to believe, what to enforce, etc did not really vibe with me. I think I've softened in my thinking as I've gotten older, but I've also realized how big of a manipulation tool it can be. I've also seen how the church is trying to modernize and reconcile with science, and somehow that doesnt sit right with me. If this is gods word, shouldn't that just be it? Why are you trying to update it? Oh right, because it's incorrect, and if people realize this they may leave, and you lose the power behind it.

I will add that my husband grew up muslim, and came to the same sort of realizations as me. He was a bit older though, because his parents were more religious and he actually had to go to church/mosque and he did the motions of it for a lot longer because of that. I'm sure his parents blame me, the haram white non muslim/atheist for removing him from religion, but it was more so that their church was friday nights and he wanted to hang out with me/his friends lol. He also really rebelled against the tithe requirement as a young person just earning their first pay cheque. When he went to college, he basically became a militant atheist and argued with his parents A LOT. They never had any answers to his questions, just the same brush off "this is how it is" "trust gods word" or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the 1960s and ‘70s by a Christian mother and Jewish father, both of whom were fairly religious. But they decided to raise my sister and me in both religions so that we could choose which we wanted as we grew older. However, both of us never became at all religious.

I guess I was always a skeptic. I remember as a little kid in Sunday school asking who invented God, and basically being told to be quiet. The older I got the less I wanted to believe in a god who let there be wars, starving babies, and other atrocities if he was all powerful. And if such a being existed, I did not want to praise or worship something that let terrible things happen.

so you live in a world of starving babies and wars, without a god.

Who do you blame for the starving babies and wars? This is not at all an argument or criticism of your beliefs. i promise. I am interested in who you blame for these terrible things?

Your response is classic religious pre-suppositionalism. It makes the assumption that there must be somebody supernatural to blame. Here’s something that you should find edifying: when you don’t believe in the supernatural being, you blame wars on the people who start them. you blame starving babies on the people who have the ability to stop a baby from starving and don’t.

That’s who you blame. The people responsible.

See how easy that was to answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the 1960s and ‘70s by a Christian mother and Jewish father, both of whom were fairly religious. But they decided to raise my sister and me in both religions so that we could choose which we wanted as we grew older. However, both of us never became at all religious.

I guess I was always a skeptic. I remember as a little kid in Sunday school asking who invented God, and basically being told to be quiet. The older I got the less I wanted to believe in a god who let there be wars, starving babies, and other atrocities if he was all powerful. And if such a being existed, I did not want to praise or worship something that let terrible things happen.

so you live in a world of starving babies and wars, without a god.

Who do you blame for the starving babies and wars? This is not at all an argument or criticism of your beliefs. i promise. I am interested in who you blame for these terrible things?

People and harsh environment conditions create starving babies. Wars are created by men. Why do you need someone or something supernatural to blame? Or for some "higher" reason?