How I Lost My Faith: A thread for atheist testimony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the 1960s and ‘70s by a Christian mother and Jewish father, both of whom were fairly religious. But they decided to raise my sister and me in both religions so that we could choose which we wanted as we grew older. However, both of us never became at all religious.

I guess I was always a skeptic. I remember as a little kid in Sunday school asking who invented God, and basically being told to be quiet. The older I got the less I wanted to believe in a god who let there be wars, starving babies, and other atrocities if he was all powerful. And if such a being existed, I did not want to praise or worship something that let terrible things happen.

so you live in a world of starving babies and wars, without a god.

Who do you blame for the starving babies and wars? This is not at all an argument or criticism of your beliefs. i promise. I am interested in who you blame for these terrible things?

DP. Raised an atheist. They are the results of human action and inaction. There does not seem to me to be any particular reason to be going any further looking for who to blame. Why does it seem obvious to you that there is a reason to do that?

[Anonymous]

no longer believing in God was not a loss, it was a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the Presbyterian church and my grandfather was a minister. Honestly, I don't think I ever had faith. I went through the motions and did all the things that my parents required of me. I know all the songs, prayers, bible verses, etc. I just never remember being an actual believer.

There was a big drama in our church when I was in high school and that really made me take a hard look at organized religion. I think because of my childhood I have a hard time calling myself an atheist and am more comfortable saying I'm agnostic.

If you were never "an actual believer" then you are an atheist. It simply means not believing in God. You are also an agnostic -- as are all atheists, because no one knows for sure if there is a god - or anything else that is supernatural. Most people who do believe in "God" believe in the God of the Bible -- not all the other gods that are out there (e.g. Greek Gods)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how it happened to me. I had always since young adulthood questioned how bad things happened to good people and good things happened to bad people. It’s everywhere. Then my mom got terminal cancer at 60. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks, God is not going to stop this wonderful, faithful woman from dying. Even as she was telling me he had a plan and things happen for a reason. And I just wanted to scream at her “This is not a plan and it’s not happening for some divine reason!!!” I didn’t say that of course.

I decided there were 3 possibilities:

1. God is not omnipotent.
2. God is omnipotent and is just an a-hole.
3. There is no God.

I’m not sure which of the above is true.

4. Your mom believed she was going to enjoy a great afterlife and that you would do well here on earth, and both of these things brought a lot of comfort to her (and might or might not be true).

No. Even if what you say is true then 1,2 or 3 also has to be true. 4 is not an alternative to those. God either couldn’t save her, chose not to save her, or isn’t real. Which do you think?

You're saying that death is the end, so that #4 is invalidated by 1, 2, or 3. PP's mom apparently didn't believe that. Take it up with pp's mom.

This thread is for non believers. Go make your own thread where you can discuss flowery reasons why God lets 2 year olds die of brain tumors and lets 10 year olds live with sexual abusers. Maybe he is real, I don’t know. But he sure isn’t very benevolent if he is.

+ 100. And why the god people believe in at the same time as he's letting that little girl I knew die horrifically slowly of a brain tumor also "blesses" someone with finding their true love, or getting the job they always dreamed of. Taking it a step further, I think it's a harmful worldview even if it only informs someone's attitude towards their life subtly enough that they just believe they are more deserving of god's blessing than the little girl in hospice. It doesn't help us evolve as a human race.

It hasn't hindered us, either. Sometimes people who believe in God do good things. Sometimes, they don't

[Anonymous]

Atheists don’t do testimony.

[Anonymous]

I grew out of it. Just like growing out of believing in Santa. It was gradual. No “aha” moments. I also do not believe many people actually “believe”, majority are in it for tradition, community, identity. I can have those things without a pretense.

[Anonymous]

Raised Catholic watched as Priest upon priest on Long Island got moved to abuse more kids. 1970s and 1960s

My community was only Catholic. I left at 17 religion no thank you. Moved to Florida and NC evangelicals just as bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no longer believing in God was not a loss, it was a change.

I like this. I don't feel lost or like I lost anything.

[Anonymous]

This is a great thread and I hope it lives on. The big reveal for me was how many other non-believers feel they have never believed, even when young.

Honestly, I thought it was just me lol.

Thanks to all for sharing, and thanks in advance for the testimony that follows.

[Anonymous]

Atheist my entire life, never believed in gods, higher powers. I think this thread is embarrassing. Why are we cosplaying as Christians, here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Atheist my entire life, never believed in gods, higher powers. I think this thread is embarrassing. Why are we cosplaying as Christians, here?

I don't believe you. Every post here is thoughtful and reasonable. People are learning stuff about others. Maybe you will too. I call troll 100%.

[Anonymous]

I'll add my own testimony here. Count me in the "not sure I ever believed" camp. Grew up in a family that went to church on most Sundays but never talked about it otherwise. Parents went to service and said grace at Christmas and Easter meals, but never talked about any "personal" aspects of religion. By high school, I was modestly active in our church youth group, but that was mostly about hanging out with friends rather than personal devotion. I rolled my eyes at classmates who tearfully prostrated themselves at "Fellowship of Christian Athletes" meetings at school. (This was in the deep South where I grew up wrongly believing that the Supreme Court must have upheld school prayer because, well, my public schools totally did it.)

So, I went through the motions. But not sure I ever "felt" god's presence. When, in college, I was exposed to atheists who would actually admit to being atheist, it was a bit eye-opening, but I didn't think much about it. Just stopped going through the motions anymore.

As an adult, I started reading more about religion. Started with "how to fix the church" type books. If you're Episcopalian, you may know of John Shelby Spong, an Episcopal bishop who is basically considered a heretic. His works superficially appealed to me, but when I read them, I was like, "dude, you clearly don't really believe this stuff." No idea if he truly believes or not, but his vision was so radical that it just didn't align in any way with reality. Dropping belief altogether would be easier. Then I turned to the "new atheists" like Dawkins and Hitchens. A little strident for my tastes, but it resonated, even though I still felt a touch of embarrassment and shame to not really believe.

Then I studied the bible even more, from an academic viewpoint, and recognized that all of the things from the New Testament that had been taught to me as one story were actually--quite obviously--at best the completely inconsistent and contradictory recollections and imaginations of disciples at multiple decades of remove and retelling. And the Old Testament, while fascinating, revealed a god that seemed to me not worth anyone's belief. I now think of myself as someone who knows the bible as well or better than most self-professed Christians, which is part of what makes me so comfortable in my non-belief.

I'm not a prick about it. I have lots of believer family members, including in-laws who love me but actively believe I'm going to hell (and who can't believe that a non-believer is "so nice"). I'm okay with religion giving some people comfort. But my lack of belief is so crystal clear to me now that it doesn't feel like I ever felt otherwise. And I don't miss my belief at all, if I ever had it.

My ultimate bottom line is essentially what Hitchens once wrote: "We are reconciled to living only once...We speculate that it is at least possible that, once people accepted the fact of their short and struggling lives, they might behave better toward each other and not worse. We believe with certainty that an ethical life can be lived without religion. And we know for a fact that the corollary holds true--religion has caused innumerable people not just to conduct themselves no better than others, but to award themselves permission to behave in ways that would make a brothel-keeper or an ethnic cleanser raise an eyebrow."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll add my own testimony here. Count me in the "not sure I ever believed" camp. Grew up in a family that went to church on most Sundays but never talked about it otherwise. Parents went to service and said grace at Christmas and Easter meals, but never talked about any "personal" aspects of religion. By high school, I was modestly active in our church youth group, but that was mostly about hanging out with friends rather than personal devotion. I rolled my eyes at classmates who tearfully prostrated themselves at "Fellowship of Christian Athletes" meetings at school. (This was in the deep South where I grew up wrongly believing that the Supreme Court must have upheld school prayer because, well, my public schools totally did it.)

So, I went through the motions. But not sure I ever "felt" god's presence. When, in college, I was exposed to atheists who would actually admit to being atheist, it was a bit eye-opening, but I didn't think much about it. Just stopped going through the motions anymore.

As an adult, I started reading more about religion. Started with "how to fix the church" type books. If you're Episcopalian, you may know of John Shelby Spong, an Episcopal bishop who is basically considered a heretic. His works superficially appealed to me, but when I read them, I was like, "dude, you clearly don't really believe this stuff." No idea if he truly believes or not, but his vision was so radical that it just didn't align in any way with reality. Dropping belief altogether would be easier. Then I turned to the "new atheists" like Dawkins and Hitchens. A little strident for my tastes, but it resonated, even though I still felt a touch of embarrassment and shame to not really believe.

Then I studied the bible even more, from an academic viewpoint, and recognized that all of the things from the New Testament that had been taught to me as one story were actually--quite obviously--at best the completely inconsistent and contradictory recollections and imaginations of disciples at multiple decades of remove and retelling. And the Old Testament, while fascinating, revealed a god that seemed to me not worth anyone's belief. I now think of myself as someone who knows the bible as well or better than most self-professed Christians, which is part of what makes me so comfortable in my non-belief.

I'm not a prick about it. I have lots of believer family members, including in-laws who love me but actively believe I'm going to hell (and who can't believe that a non-believer is "so nice"). I'm okay with religion giving some people comfort. But my lack of belief is so crystal clear to me now that it doesn't feel like I ever felt otherwise. And I don't miss my belief at all, if I ever had it.

My ultimate bottom line is essentially what Hitchens once wrote: "We are reconciled to living only once...We speculate that it is at least possible that, once people accepted the fact of their short and struggling lives, they might behave better toward each other and not worse. We believe with certainty that an ethical life can be lived without religion. And we know for a fact that the corollary holds true--religion has caused innumerable people not just to conduct themselves no better than others, but to award themselves permission to behave in ways that would make a brothel-keeper or an ethnic cleanser raise an eyebrow."

My story is very similar. I think there are many similar stories these days -- and hopefully in the future, there will be similar stories of people never being raised with religion in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atheist my entire life, never believed in gods, higher powers. I think this thread is embarrassing. Why are we cosplaying as Christians, here?

I don't believe you. Every post here is thoughtful and reasonable. People are learning stuff about others. Maybe you will too. I call troll 100%.

I think there are some atheists who can't imagine anyone ever falling for the seemingly crazy stories of religions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Atheists don’t do testimony.

+1

WTF is "testimony"?