I don’t want a baby shower

[Anonymous]

First of all, you don’t host your own baby shower. Second, the person hosting should take into account your wishes (i.e. NOT a huge party).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My partner wants a baby shower but I really don’t want to be bothered with his family; they’re very toxic. He also has a huge family and I don’t think we need to splurge on a venue to accommodate both our families - we’re looking at $4-5k to host 100 + people and that doesn’t include catering and decorations. It would have to be indoors due to the season and therefore, we would need the space so people aren’t all on top of each other. I much rather get our child what he/she’s needs and if family would like to buy things, we don’t need a baby shower for them to do so; not to mentioned, this isn’t our first child. Am I being selfish? This is his baby too but he knows how his family is and I’m high risk. I don’t want the stress or the negativity around me.

The expectant mother does not host her own shower!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of whether you should or shouldn’t have it, why would you host? Tell DH to tell his family to get it together and give you a party. It’s what they want so they can handle it themselves. You and DH should only have to show up the day of.

I’ve been to smaller versions of what you are describing and the mom-to-be just shows up. The food/drinks, location, all the things are handled by the rest of the family.

[Anonymous]

Quick, convert to Judaism. Don't need to do anything official, just decide. You can convert back later.

https://www.jfedgmw.org/to-shower-or-not-to-shower/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

Culture varies. Obviously you don't need duplicates of all the baby furniture you already have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

Eh. I think the rise of "sprinkles" are fine and I'm no fan of expectant mom pageantry. I even tried to get out of having both a bridal and baby shower--unsuccessfully, because I am a wimp and didn't want to disappoint my mom/aunts--but that is just my personality.

But I went to a sprinkle this past weekend that was very sweet. No more than 15 people, gifts extremely modest if brought at all. Really just more of a brunch to toast the new baby/expectant mom. No games, thank god. Also went to a "diaper stock-up BBQ" last year that was fun.

That said, I can't imagine anything along the lines of what OP described. Agree with her decision to shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

+1

There is nothing tackier than judging a joyful, second-time bride for wearing white or--more on point for this thread--judging the existence of a party meant welcome new life into the world.

Anyone who looks down on happiness in the name of etiquette has their own problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

+1

There is nothing tackier than judging a joyful, second-time bride for wearing white or--more on point for this thread--judging the existence of a party meant welcome new life into the world.

Anyone who looks down on happiness in the name of etiquette has their own problems.

If anyone was looking down on happiness, you might have a point. But in this case people are ignoring etiquette to make the “guest of honor” miserable. In this case observing etiquette preserves the honorees happiness. If everyone else feels they want a party to be happy, they are free to leave OP happily out of it and throw whatever shindig they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

+1

There is nothing tackier than judging a joyful, second-time bride for wearing white or--more on point for this thread--judging the existence of a party meant welcome new life into the world.

Anyone who looks down on happiness in the name of etiquette has their own problems.

If anyone was looking down on happiness, you might have a point. But in this case people are ignoring etiquette to make the “guest of honor” miserable. In this case observing etiquette preserves the honorees happiness. If everyone else feels they want a party to be happy, they are free to leave OP happily out of it and throw whatever shindig they want.

Sure...but you didn't agree with a take specific to OP's situation, you agreed with--and put in bold--a broad take about when a shower is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

+1

There is nothing tackier than judging a joyful, second-time bride for wearing white or--more on point for this thread--judging the existence of a party meant welcome new life into the world.

Anyone who looks down on happiness in the name of etiquette has their own problems.

If anyone was looking down on happiness, you might have a point. But in this case people are ignoring etiquette to make the “guest of honor” miserable. In this case observing etiquette preserves the honorees happiness. If everyone else feels they want a party to be happy, they are free to leave OP happily out of it and throw whatever shindig they want.

Sure...but you didn't agree with a take specific to OP's situation, you agreed with--and put in bold--a broad take about when a shower is appropriate.

I think you’re confusing me with another poster. My only post on this thread was 08/28/2023 16:20.

If defying etiquette would make somebody happy it would make sense. If following etiquette caused unhapppiness, it would make less sense, but be understandable. MY point (I can’t speak for PP) is that when following etiquette preserves happiness, defying it to cause unhappiness seems completely unjustifiable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

Culture varies. Obviously you don't need duplicates of all the baby furniture you already have.

Good manners do not change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

I’m not sure why this matters but we both have 1 child each. We’re in our late 30’s and excited to add another baby to our blended family.

Showers Are only for FIRST child delivered by you not first child of subsequent marriages.

+1

There is nothing tackier than judging a joyful, second-time bride for wearing white or--more on point for this thread--judging the existence of a party meant welcome new life into the world.

Anyone who looks down on happiness in the name of etiquette has their own problems.

Actually, gift grabs by women with multiples children having baby showers is beyond tacky.