I don’t want a baby shower

[Anonymous]

My partner wants a baby shower but I really don’t want to be bothered with his family; they’re very toxic. He also has a huge family and I don’t think we need to splurge on a venue to accommodate both our families - we’re looking at $4-5k to host 100 + people and that doesn’t include catering and decorations. It would have to be indoors due to the season and therefore, we would need the space so people aren’t all on top of each other. I much rather get our child what he/she’s needs and if family would like to buy things, we don’t need a baby shower for them to do so; not to mentioned, this isn’t our first child. Am I being selfish? This is his baby too but he knows how his family is and I’m high risk. I don’t want the stress or the negativity around me.

[Anonymous]

Why does he want the shower?

[Anonymous]

You can't host the shower anyway. If his family wants to plan and pay for it, though, I'd go along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My partner wants a baby shower but I really don’t want to be bothered with his family; they’re very toxic. He also has a huge family and I don’t think we need to splurge on a venue to accommodate both our families - we’re looking at $4-5k to host 100 + people and that doesn’t include catering and decorations. It would have to be indoors due to the season and therefore, we would need the space so people aren’t all on top of each other. I much rather get our child what he/she’s needs and if family would like to buy things, we don’t need a baby shower for them to do so; not to mentioned, this isn’t our first child. Am I being selfish? This is his baby too but he knows how his family is and I’m high risk. I don’t want the stress or the negativity around me.

Well, this isn't a good start.

No you do not need to have a baby shower. It sounds like you all are planning a huge event? Normally it's 20 women sitting in someone's living room, and is not hosted by the mom-to-be.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think youre being selfish. You need to shut it down for good.

"We already did the big baby shower party and it was a nightmare. I'm not doing it again, and that's final."

If he brings it up again, you need to shut it down, over and over.

"We've discussed this, I'm not doing it. Please stop bringing it up."

He is probably getting pressure from the rest of this giant toxic family.

[Anonymous]

Even if you did want a baby shower, the more standard course would be for a friend to throw one for you. Call me old fashioned, but it seems off to throw your own baby shower.

All that said, if you really don't want one, then stand firm. Your partner's family can throw your partner a baby party if they want.

[Anonymous]

Hosting it is not your responsibility. How many kids do you both have from other people??

[Anonymous]

either way op, the family or a friend would typically offer to host a shower, the mom or dad to be does not host the shower

[Anonymous]

I've also never heard of the parents throwing the baby shower. I'm not a stickler for etiquette of this sort, but would be bamboozled by a baby shower of the nature you're suggesting.

This is our second and one of my aunts is throwing me a "sprinkle." In all honesty I'd rather have not had one--hate being the center of attention--but I know it meant a lot to her so am going with the flow. It's Aldo like 15 people.

[Anonymous]

You don't host it, anyway.

I cannot imagine spending 4k - 5k on a shower.

[Anonymous]

This isn't for you to worry about because showers are thrown by colleagues, friends or family members (if they choose to throw one), not by the parents-to-be.

[Anonymous]

100+ people at a baby shower? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Sounds dreadful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't host it, anyway.

I cannot imagine spending 4k - 5k on a shower.

You must not be from Long Island, NY. They’re so over the top.

[Anonymous]

Mothers hosting both bridal and baby showers is the new trend. Get ready ladies.

[Anonymous]

Why are you and your partner hosting your own baby shower?