I don’t want a baby shower

[Anonymous]

People don't pay for their own showers, that's awful and tacky and really really distasteful OP. NO NO NO.

[Anonymous]

5k for a shower you host yourself?? No way. If an aunt or grandma or family friend wants to host in their living room or backyard, sure....also can say no thanks. And yes not common for not first kid.

[Anonymous]

No. You don't want to do it AND it's covid risky when you are pregnant. Just say no.

[Anonymous]

This might be the tackiest thing I've read on dcum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100+ people at a baby shower? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Sounds dreadful.

We had about 100. DH and I both come from big families, and are both extroverts with a lot of friends. We had a great time, and nine years later, people who were there still love telling DD "I knew you before you were born!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My partner wants a baby shower but I really don’t want to be bothered with his family; they’re very toxic. He also has a huge family and I don’t think we need to splurge on a venue to accommodate both our families - we’re looking at $4-5k to host 100 + people and that doesn’t include catering and decorations. It would have to be indoors due to the season and therefore, we would need the space so people aren’t all on top of each other. I much rather get our child what he/she’s needs and if family would like to buy things, we don’t need a baby shower for them to do so; not to mentioned, this isn’t our first child. Am I being selfish? This is his baby too but he knows how his family is and I’m high risk. I don’t want the stress or the negativity around me.

Well, this isn't a good start.

No you do not need to have a baby shower. It sounds like you all are planning a huge event? Normally it's 20 women sitting in someone's living room, and is not hosted by the mom-to-be.

This. I have never heard of a 100 person shower. OP, you would not be the host anyway. Sometimes there is a friend shower and then a family shower and work shower. But none hosted by the mom to be.

Is this your first child together? This all sounds odd. What happened re: prior pregnancy(s) re: these people?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a troll

[Anonymous]

Op here and thanks for the responses. Yes, it would be a lot of people (he has a large family that would be coming from PA, NYC & then we both have family here). I know it’s not the norm but I’m particular lol so, I would have hired a party planner. But I am just going to shut it down. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being selfish. Thank you all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My partner wants a baby shower but I really don’t want to be bothered with his family; they’re very toxic. He also has a huge family and I don’t think we need to splurge on a venue to accommodate both our families - we’re looking at $4-5k to host 100 + people and that doesn’t include catering and decorations. It would have to be indoors due to the season and therefore, we would need the space so people aren’t all on top of each other. I much rather get our child what he/she’s needs and if family would like to buy things, we don’t need a baby shower for them to do so; not to mentioned, this isn’t our first child. Am I being selfish? This is his baby too but he knows how his family is and I’m high risk. I don’t want the stress or the negativity around me.

Well, this isn't a good start.

No you do not need to have a baby shower. It sounds like you all are planning a huge event? Normally it's 20 women sitting in someone's living room, and is not hosted by the mom-to-be.

This. I have never heard of a 100 person shower. OP, you would not be the host anyway. Sometimes there is a friend shower and then a family shower and work shower. But none hosted by the mom to be.

Is this your first child together? This all sounds odd. What happened re: prior pregnancy(s) re: these people?

Most baby showers I’ve attended are co-ed. As I stated, he has a large family and they are always in attendance of any function. It’s a cultural thing.

[Anonymous]

You don’t pay for the shower. Family shouldn’t either. Why are you bringing a kid into this toxic family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here and thanks for the responses. Yes, it would be a lot of people (he has a large family that would be coming from PA, NYC & then we both have family here). I know it’s not the norm but I’m particular lol so, I would have hired a party planner. But I am just going to shut it down. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being selfish. Thank you all!

Good idea to shut it down. Just say no thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100+ people at a baby shower? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Sounds dreadful.

We had about 100. DH and I both come from big families, and are both extroverts with a lot of friends. We had a great time, and nine years later, people who were there still love telling DD "I knew you before you were born!"

At least we’re not the only people with a lot of people in our lives. - OP

[Anonymous]

I refused them as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don't think youre being selfish. You need to shut it down for good.

"We already did the big baby shower party and it was a nightmare. I'm not doing it again, and that's final."

If he brings it up again, you need to shut it down, over and over.

"We've discussed this, I'm not doing it. Please stop bringing it up."

He is probably getting pressure from the rest of this giant toxic family.

I appreciate your response. Yes, his family is pushing for the shower - they have events for every occasion and it’s always drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. You don't want to do it AND it's covid risky when you are pregnant. Just say no.

That was my other thought. Thank you.