AITA- breakfast drama

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you hurt your own feelings here. I get it, I do this all the time too but you have to recognize it when it's happening or you'll never stop.

[Anonymous]

You may have had good intentions to do something nice for your family. However, forcing them to do something against their will and getting upset when they’re not happy about it, is nobody’s idea of a treat.

[Anonymous]

You are definitely the ass. School will start soon and I imagine they will have weekend activities and need to be up early. Let them sleep in! Let them figure out their own breakfast when they are hungry if you don’t want to make it for them when they are ready to eat. And of course your child wanted to lay on the couch after you dragged her out of bed at 9am for no reason! Plan on family dinners instead.

This reminds me of my FIL, who i have complained about here before. He will, unprompted, buy me or my kids junk we don't want. And then be all pissy when we don't appreciate it! Because we didn't want it in thr first place!

[Anonymous]

I would have unplugged the WiFi

[Anonymous]

And turned off cellular data

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

OP, forgive me if I'm reading too much into this but is it possible there is some issue going on with DH that is making you need to have some control over the little things?

+1. Something is definitely going on between OP and DH. What on earth do you mean that he doesn’t have your back? He wasn’t even home when you threw your temper tantrum. This whole thing sounds super bizarre like you never spend time with your kids or something. I have tweens and I’m pretty in tune with when they’re hungry and what they like, honestly I anticipate this stuff even more than they themselves do. Also a few eggs is not some particularly unique/special family breakfast to get all bent out of shape about. It’s not like you spent an hour prepping some difficult or expensive recipe. I’m sorry that the kids did not appreciate your effort, truly. But your reaction is disproportionately out of whack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You nudged the kids and told them breakfast was imminent. They weren't asking for it or very hungry so this plan was doomed from the start. You tried to do a nice thing and they just weren't interested. They didn't care about breakfast as a family on a Saturday morning. Just let it go and get on with the day.

This. Just because something sounds good or appealing or nice to you doesn’t mean others will want it.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm sorry but YATA. You set up the situation and now are playing martyr because your kids did not want to play the roles you assigned them. You set yourself up, I'm afraid. The question is, why did you do that? You said because you thought it would be nice to have a family breakfast, but you need to dig a little deeper. You had this fantasy about familial closeness and you were upset because it didn't work out the way you wanted it to. That's pretty immature, OP. If you want familial closeness, find a better way.

[Anonymous]

OP’s family is certainly not Asian.

[Anonymous]

You aren't an a**. I think you might miss your kids being little and that family time. I would certainly not bother making breakfast for them. I would make my own breakfast and make sure they have ingredients to make their own. They do need to learn to cook now for their future lives. If anything I think I judged you more for the sugar cereal. Heh.

[Anonymous]

Breakfast as a family? Why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the mom of three kids under four who wake up at 5 am every day...I can't believe this is a problem. Women sleep in. It's a summer Saturday. They can make their own breakfast.

I used to be a mom of 3 under 4 (they grew older). Hang in there.

Now we have 4 kids, oldest is 7, and life is so much easier. Not quite “making scrambled eggs at 9 am easy”, but the 7 yo read until 6 am and let us “sleep in” until his little siblings woke up at 6. Your kids will grow up so much in the next few years!

[Anonymous]

I make my kids come down to eat lunch and definitely dinner together. I do not wake my kids up to eat breakfast. I make breakfast for them everyday and they come down and eat when they are up.

[Anonymous]

NTA. We normally had family breakfast on Sunday mornings. It would have been okay to not make a plate if not hungry, coming to the table with the family for a little while was required. Know what was not an option? Yelling down the stairs, coming down and throwing things off the couch, and being rude to mom about it. The fact that so many of you felt that the kid's behavior here was just fine is telling.

[Anonymous]

Based on what you described, it was 🙂 t clear to me that you told them in advance that you wanted breakfast as a family. Next time express your expectations clearly