AITA- breakfast drama

[Anonymous]

At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

[Anonymous]

You nudged the kids and told them breakfast was imminent. They weren't asking for it or very hungry so this plan was doomed from the start. You tried to do a nice thing and they just weren't interested. They didn't care about breakfast as a family on a Saturday morning. Just let it go and get on with the day.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a 13 y.o. here. I pick my battles, and try to set up routines and expectations rather than getting into one-off disputes like this. I.e. you should be up and out of bed by __. If the expectation is not met, don't get upset, just stick to it. This approach is not a quick fix, and often does not work the first time you try it. It also requires some patience. It's a long game. GL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You nudged the kids and told them breakfast was imminent. They weren't asking for it or very hungry so this plan was doomed from the start. You tried to do a nice thing and they just weren't interested. They didn't care about breakfast as a family on a Saturday morning. Just let it go and get on with the day.

This. Lesson learned. Enjoy the peace and quiet next time.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need this much control over their schedule on a Saturday morning? Leave them alone unless there is a reason to leave the house early. You are setting yourself up for miserable teenage years.

[Anonymous]

Just make yourself happy.

[Anonymous]

It’s a weekend morning in summer, and you’re making them eat when they’re not hungry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

As opposed to what other kind of scrambled eggs?

[Anonymous]

They didn’t want breakfast. You offered, they said no. That should have been the end of the conversation. If they’d come down an hour later and demanded you cook THEN they’d have been in the wrong, but simply not wanting an offered meal is fine. Unless family breakfast at a specific time is part of the normal Saturday routine and they knew it, this is entirely a you problem.

[Anonymous]

I think it was a mistake for you not to plan this "family breakfast" last night. It's almost always a mistake to spring togetherness plans on teenagers in the morning, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

You’re not an A but neither are your kids. They just weren’t hungry or wanting breakfast. Would you like it if someone said you had to eat when you aren’t hungry? And it’s not even like you are about to go out and they must eat beforehand or something. It’s all just because you decided you want your kids to eat at a certain time. I always ask my kids if they’re hungry before making them something to eat, especially if the thing I’m making is something like eggs that people would have to eat right when it’s ready (can’t really save it for later…)

[Anonymous]

As the mom of three kids under four who wake up at 5 am every day...I can't believe this is a problem. Women sleep in. It's a summer Saturday. They can make their own breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the mom of three kids under four who wake up at 5 am every day...I can't believe this is a problem. Women sleep in. It's a summer Saturday. They can make their own breakfast.

as the mom of a 3 yr old who has been waking up at 5, I dream of these problems.

My mom is also super controlling about food, and it’s very annoying. Let them get up and make their own breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need this much control over their schedule on a Saturday morning? Leave them alone unless there is a reason to leave the house early. You are setting yourself up for miserable teenage years.

This. I don't prepare breakfast or lunch in the summer. I supply the groceries and the kids feed themselves. We have dinner together, but during the day, they eat when they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a weekend morning in summer, and you’re making them eat when they’re not hungry?

+1 this is why people are fat