AITA- breakfast drama

[Anonymous]

You’re making a mountain out a molehill.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even get the problem. You are either ok with “downtime” or you are not. The idea of micromanaging tween “downtime” sounds nuts to me. If you don’t like downtime, schedule stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even get the problem. You are either ok with “downtime” or you are not. The idea of micromanaging tween “downtime” sounds nuts to me. If you don’t like downtime, schedule stuff.

Oops!! Wrong thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

Yeah, this drama was for no reason. Let them be. Don't force them to eat breakfast so as not to hurt your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You nudged the kids and told them breakfast was imminent. They weren't asking for it or very hungry so this plan was doomed from the start. You tried to do a nice thing and they just weren't interested. They didn't care about breakfast as a family on a Saturday morning. Just let it go and get on with the day.

100%

[Anonymous]

Your kids are old enough to make their own breakfast. Why are you forcing your weekend breakfast times and menu on them? Just let them get up when they want, and get food for themselves. They're not 3 and 6.

[Anonymous]

Keep some shelf-stable milk, like Horizon, on hand.

"Problem" solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

You're a family of a..holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

You were ignoring and disrespecting them. Why was having breakfast together so important to you?

[Anonymous]

yeah i would not force a hot breakfast on my kids at a specified time on the weekend, unless they were toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Let them wake up when they want and come down for breakfast. Then offer to make them something and if they pass just sit with them and enjoy their company. Have a snack or sip water/tea/coffee if you aren’t hungry
And stop being so controlling

[Anonymous]

So we all agree. OP was in fact the asshole. I love when we can all come together!

[Anonymous]

My husband likes to make involved breakfasts on weekends. He's learned that he CANNOT wake us up until we're ready. Me included! The breakfast just sits out, covered, and everyone comes down when they're ready. Teens are 18 and 13. The 13 year old is an early riser like my husband (6am!), but it doesn't mean she's necessarily hungry when breakfast is ready. Sometimes she eats with her father, sometimes she waits a little. My son and I come down later, between 8 and 9am.

We have lunch and dinner together, so plenty of opportunities for family meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At around 8:50, I nudged the kids (DS (14) had already gotten up to get his phone around 8ish) and I said I would make fresh scrambled eggs and assemble a few other breakfast items (as we were out of milk for cereal). I said they could have 5 minutes but then be downstairs. DH was out running errands so it was just the kids and I.

I gave them 7-8 minutes and asked them to come downstairs as the eggs were ready. They yelled back that they were tired and that they weren’t hungry. I again asked that they come down- it was after 9 and the eggs were ready (along with other breakfast items). At one point I heard DS even said to DD (11) at one point that they better go down before mom gets mad. They eventually came down- DD threw all the stuff off the couch onto the floor (which I told her to pick up and scolded her for it) and DS said he just wanted cereal. He even prepared a bowl until he realized we were out of milk.

He kept pushing back on why we had to get up/have breakfast. I explained I wanted to have breakfast as a family, even if DH was out, and how their reactions made me feel (hurt) and that it came across as disrespectful as it felt like I was being ignored. He accused me of being a hypocrite and that I was perceiving their actions to be that way when they weren’t.

So DCUM- AITA? WWYD? Why do I need to ask multiple times before my kids do what I ask? Is that normal? I just feel so disrespected and am worried I’m raising brats. But I don’t know if DH has my back (that’s for another post) so I’m not sure how to proceed. They are now downtairs listening to music after complaining about me. Is it just tween/teenage thing?

OP, forgive me if I'm reading too much into this but is it possible there is some issue going on with DH that is making you need to have some control over the little things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it was a mistake for you not to plan this "family breakfast" last night. It's almost always a mistake to spring togetherness plans on teenagers in the morning, in my experience.

+1 I always let them know the night before: “ok family breakfast at 10am.” If they say “no, Mom, please can we sleep in tomorrow” that’s fine. But usually they much prefer family hot breakfast to cereal or whatever they’d have to get on their own.