having a "boyfriend" 5th grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discourage the relationship because then she’ll get sneaky. Let this boyfriend thing run it’s course. She might get a boyfriend, they might not. My DD had one boyfriend in fourth grade and hasn’t dated since. She said they barely even talked! I agree that having the “has had a boyfriend” box checked helps if you are on the dorky side.

That being said, my DD knows two kids who apparently “dated” from first to fifth grade. They never kissed or touched, they were just best friends. Now those kids are in high school, attend different schools, and haven’t talked in years.

That’s not dating. And your dd didn’t have a boyfriend in the 4th grade, she had a friend. Dating in 5th grade means calling on phone or texting every night. It means going to each others houses to hang out. It’s being driven to the mall. It’s eating lunch together alone.

So why are calling two six year olds who played together dating? I don’t understand that.

I'm not saying that they were dating, my daughter told me that during that time those two kids told everyone in DD's grade that they were dating.

[Anonymous]

Going through this now with a 5th grade DS. He called her his "girl friend" but all they ever did was text, and the texts were really sweet and innocent. She "broke up" with DS because her mom said she was too young, and DS was quite devastated. It seemed unnecessary for the mom to demand they "break up" when to them, having a bf or gf just meant a text or two a day and maybe bragging rights within their friend groups that they had someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

Hahahahahahahaha

It doesn't exist if the nanny doesn't see it and report it!

[Anonymous]

Perhaps find another label for the relationship rather than boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

Hahahahahahahaha

It doesn't exist if the nanny doesn't see it and report it!

Pp is right though, early sexual activity IS linked to lower ses. This is something that has been studied and something I’ve certainly seen anecdotally.

OP is not deluding herself in thinking her 5th grader isn’t engaging in sexual activity with a boy she has playdates with. Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going through this now with a 5th grade DS. He called her his "girl friend" but all they ever did was text, and the texts were really sweet and innocent. She "broke up" with DS because her mom said she was too young, and DS was quite devastated. It seemed unnecessary for the mom to demand they "break up" when to them, having a bf or gf just meant a text or two a day and maybe bragging rights within their friend groups that they had someone?

Lady, you do know that it was more than what you read and saw, right? Odds are the mom made her break up with your kid because of something inappropriate but just labeling it as they are too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going through this now with a 5th grade DS. He called her his "girl friend" but all they ever did was text, and the texts were really sweet and innocent. She "broke up" with DS because her mom said she was too young, and DS was quite devastated. It seemed unnecessary for the mom to demand they "break up" when to them, having a bf or gf just meant a text or two a day and maybe bragging rights within their friend groups that they had someone?

Lady, you do know that it was more than what you read and saw, right? Odds are the mom made her break up with your kid because of something inappropriate but just labeling it as they are too young.

NP but that’s unnecessarily paranoid (and belligerent).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

PP you’re responding to and I never said sex, but you’re fooling yourself if you don’t think middle schoolers are sneaking a kiss and doing some above the clothes action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

PP you’re responding to and I never said sex, but you’re fooling yourself if you don’t think middle schoolers are sneaking a kiss and doing some above the clothes action.

+1
I mean, some people here are very naive. just because your child told you something doesn't mean it's the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

OP here. I have to agree. when I was in middle school, kids were def very active. and some girls and boys were fully active by 8th grade. I know this happens.

my child is kind of a wall flower, so not interested in being physical with anyone. but I think being liked and liking someone is the extent of it. and the boy is very nerdy too. so they are more like good friends than anything. but I do believe that's how any good relationship should be. even when she gets older. she and a future partner should treat each other as you would a best friend.

nerds have sex, too, you know? not saying your kid does, but this idea that they are a "wall flower" with no interest whatsoever in the physical aspect of a relationship is a bit delusional.

you don't know this. you are not there. you only know what your child tells you, and if they are smart, as you are implying they are, they are not going to tell you everything. doesn't mean whatever they are doing is bad or age-inappropriate. but please stop with the oh no, my child would never ever .... don't you know, we are UMD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going through this now with a 5th grade DS. He called her his "girl friend" but all they ever did was text, and the texts were really sweet and innocent. She "broke up" with DS because her mom said she was too young, and DS was quite devastated. It seemed unnecessary for the mom to demand they "break up" when to them, having a bf or gf just meant a text or two a day and maybe bragging rights within their friend groups that they had someone?

Hmmm. Have heard more than once of kids “breaking up” when turns out 1 of the kids not even aware the other was saying they were boyfriend/girlfriend. The “break-up” often comes when what thought was friend turns out to have been saying things not true in school or even just to their parents. Oh the drama can start early for some gossip girl junior kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going through this now with a 5th grade DS. He called her his "girl friend" but all they ever did was text, and the texts were really sweet and innocent. She "broke up" with DS because her mom said she was too young, and DS was quite devastated. It seemed unnecessary for the mom to demand they "break up" when to them, having a bf or gf just meant a text or two a day and maybe bragging rights within their friend groups that they had someone?

Bragging rights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

PP you’re responding to and I never said sex, but you’re fooling yourself if you don’t think middle schoolers are sneaking a kiss and doing some above the clothes action.

I'm not fooling myself about anything. You are titillating yourself with talk of elementary school children doing things. OP, if these kids are in an elementary school that tops out at 5th, you don't really have much to worry about. Kids this age won't get certain ideas in their heads if they are not exposed to much older kids day to day. I'd be more vigilant if they kids were in the same school as 8th graders, who are more likely to be doing stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

PP you’re responding to and I never said sex, but you’re fooling yourself if you don’t think middle schoolers are sneaking a kiss and doing some above the clothes action.

I'm not fooling myself about anything. You are titillating yourself with talk of elementary school children doing things. OP, if these kids are in an elementary school that tops out at 5th, you don't really have much to worry about. Kids this age won't get certain ideas in their heads if they are not exposed to much older kids day to day. I'd be more vigilant if they kids were in the same school as 8th graders, who are more likely to be doing stuff.

Thanks, PP. I can see there are various opinions and some I do agree with. My daughter is in the crush phase. The kids are in a parochial school with zero time to sneak off to do anything, let alone heavy pet. Some people on here are really the opposite of naive. Most of these kids hold their parents hand when they cross the street, not sneaking out at night to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

PP you’re responding to and I never said sex, but you’re fooling yourself if you don’t think middle schoolers are sneaking a kiss and doing some above the clothes action.

I'm not fooling myself about anything. You are titillating yourself with talk of elementary school children doing things. OP, if these kids are in an elementary school that tops out at 5th, you don't really have much to worry about. Kids this age won't get certain ideas in their heads if they are not exposed to much older kids day to day. I'd be more vigilant if they kids were in the same school as 8th graders, who are more likely to be doing stuff.

Thanks, PP. I can see there are various opinions and some I do agree with. My daughter is in the crush phase. The kids are in a parochial school with zero time to sneak off to do anything, let alone heavy pet. Some people on here are really the opposite of naive. Most of these kids hold their parents hand when they cross the street, not sneaking out at night to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend

these are not mutually exclusive. kids are complicated.