having a "boyfriend" 5th grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend in 6th grade. Me and my friends sat with him and his friends at lunch. Some of them were "dating" too. That was the extent of things - trading an Oreo for a Vienna Finger cookie. Hot stuff.

you do know that million+ kids have sex at that age. not a majority, but it's not unheard of, either. what you are describing is dating at first-third grade, not middle school.

I'm just sharing what my friends and I were doing in sixth grade. There was never any touching beyond holding hands and even that was rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend in 6th grade. Me and my friends sat with him and his friends at lunch. Some of them were "dating" too. That was the extent of things - trading an Oreo for a Vienna Finger cookie. Hot stuff.

Same. He sent me a note in class asking if I would want to be his girlfriend and I wrote back yes. First kiss in 7th grade in a movie theater on a date with my boyfriend…and a group of our friends sitting a row away.

I’m not saying some kids don’t start engaging in sexual activities at these ages but I wouldn’t get prematurely freaked out about it. For many, it really is very innocent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discourage the relationship because then she’ll get sneaky. Let this boyfriend thing run it’s course. She might get a boyfriend, they might not. My DD had one boyfriend in fourth grade and hasn’t dated since. She said they barely even talked! I agree that having the “has had a boyfriend” box checked helps if you are on the dorky side.

That being said, my DD knows two kids who apparently “dated” from first to fifth grade. They never kissed or touched, they were just best friends. Now those kids are in high school, attend different schools, and haven’t talked in years.

That’s not dating. And your dd didn’t have a boyfriend in the 4th grade, she had a friend. Dating in 5th grade means calling on phone or texting every night. It means going to each others houses to hang out. It’s being driven to the mall. It’s eating lunch together alone.

So why are calling two six year olds who played together dating? I don’t understand that.

[Anonymous]

Too young.

[Anonymous]

OP here. By dating I mean she likes him, he likes her. Going out together on "play dates/hanging out" but brought by parents. Nothing more. Like a PP said - having the boyfriend category checked, as a nerdy girl.

She and her friends talked crushes last year. I've talked to her about sometimes you like someone, and they like you as a friend. Sometimes someone may like you, and you only like them as a friend. Sometimes feelings change and you may not like like that person anymore, etc.

But for the PP talking about first and second and third base? In 5th or 6th grade? I am shocked.

[Anonymous]

I have a rising 6th grade girl. I think it’s too young too.
I encourage mine just to be friends with both genders,

[Anonymous]

I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

OP here. I have to agree. when I was in middle school, kids were def very active. and some girls and boys were fully active by 8th grade. I know this happens.

my child is kind of a wall flower, so not interested in being physical with anyone. but I think being liked and liking someone is the extent of it. and the boy is very nerdy too. so they are more like good friends than anything. but I do believe that's how any good relationship should be. even when she gets older. she and a future partner should treat each other as you would a best friend.

[Anonymous]

I've noticed an increase in boyfriend/girlfriend stuff with my 10 year old DS (rising 5th grader). He's told me about how certain classmates "like" each other, and girls who liked him, etc. So it's definitely a thing. I try to be casual about it because he still finds it all a bit silly and weird. I don't encourage it and have told him while some kids will be into "dating" in middle school, it's something that, in my view, should wait until he's is older. We've had a few puberty and sex talks and I think he's starting to get it. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

5th graders that “date” def are kissing and petting under clothes

The ones doing thatin 5th grade are the ones doing hand jobs/fingering in 7th and oral in 8th

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed an increase in boyfriend/girlfriend stuff with my 10 year old DS (rising 5th grader). He's told me about how certain classmates "like" each other, and girls who liked him, etc. So it's definitely a thing. I try to be casual about it because he still finds it all a bit silly and weird. I don't encourage it and have told him while some kids will be into "dating" in middle school, it's something that, in my view, should wait until he's is older. We've had a few puberty and sex talks and I think he's starting to get it. Lol.

my rising 5th grader has said the same. a lot of the boys aren't into it and are focused on sports, Pokemon, etc. Basically clueless on what the fuss is about. Girls certainly develop quicker than boys, physically and emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is something OP should be aware of, but it all depends on the child's temperament and home life, and dare I say it, social class. UMC 5th graders don't have sex.

5th graders that “date” def are kissing and petting under clothes

The ones doing thatin 5th grade are the ones doing hand jobs/fingering in 7th and oral in 8th

you are insane. or a perv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being a bit naive. I’m 5th grade I was kissing my “boyfriend” at my locker and by 6th grade we were sneaking into the locker room to make out and then some after school. And I was not the only one. In middle school these relationships come with physical exploration.

This is not the case with all middle schoolers. You were, as my mom would have said, "Fast". And there's nothing wrong with that, but just know not all middle schoolers are doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. By dating I mean she likes him, he likes her. Going out together on "play dates/hanging out" but brought by parents. Nothing more. Like a PP said - having the boyfriend category checked, as a nerdy girl.

She and her friends talked crushes last year. I've talked to her about sometimes you like someone, and they like you as a friend. Sometimes someone may like you, and you only like them as a friend. Sometimes feelings change and you may not like like that person anymore, etc.

But for the PP talking about first and second and third base? In 5th or 6th grade? I am shocked.

So what is the difference between hanging out with a friend who's a boy for play dates or hanging out, versus doing those activities with someone who she "likes" and has attached the label boyfriend to?