Do you isolate your kids before a vacation?

[Anonymous]

It’s a little over the top, but your friends reaction is quite strange.

[Anonymous]

I don’t find it that weird. I try to be careful before big trips… i don’t skip school (although i wish we could), but i would either try to limit activities the week before, or swallow my urge to do so and be anxious the whole time.

In the summer, when it’s easier to avoid gatherings/school, i would absolutely be more careful.

My guess would be that something you said triggered your friend and what she heard was judgement about daycare…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend is mad at me and want to see if this is common or if I’m a weirdo. We are middle class and have a one vacation per year. We have spent a lot of time and money planning it and are really looking forward to it next month! In turn, I limit activities the week prior (no parties, no indoor play places, play dates etc) to try and prevent kids getting sick and ruining the trip.

Well a good friend is having a bday party for her child the weekend before we leave. She doesn’t work but her child is in full time daycare as are the class friends that’ll be in attendance (we talk often and know he’s literally always sick with something or another). I told her point blank we can’t come because we don’t want to risk the kids getting sick. Now she isn’t speaking to me.

I feel bad but am I the only one that does this?? I feel it’s smart but also understand full time working with kids in daycare people go on vacations all the time without a hitch.

This was an odd detail to include.

I would just have made up a conflict. I think your explanation implies this group is very germy compared to your kid.

I think you’re being a little obtuse here. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with daycare. But there’s no denying that daycares are breeding grounds for germs. We all write here complaining about it year round.

Sure, but that's different than telling someone you're skipping their party because their kid and his friends are germy. OP gave an excuse that pretty easily reads as insulting.

Have you ever been in the career/nanny forums? It’s pretty much fact, even if you consider it insulting. People literally lose their jobs and all their vacation time because of it. But go ahead and dig your heels in I guess.

[Anonymous]

OP is fine.

Show grace towards the birthday mom and invite to a 1:1 celebration at a different date.

[Anonymous]

I’ve done it depending on the trip (once in a lifetime trip to Asia) and I know others who do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter what anyone here does or doesn’t do before a vacation. You do you.

The only thing you owe this “friend” is plenty of notice that your kid will not be attending the party. Drop off a small gift and be on your way. An adult who is refusing to talk to someone over this has questionable maturity.

Have a nice vacation.

+1

[Anonymous]

I do the same thing. My kids seem more susceptible to getting sick though. And they get hit hard. We would not attend an indoor play date or birthday party right before a trip.

[Anonymous]

I think your reasoning is fine for skipping the party but I would not have told the host that.

Parties matter to kids and their families and the parents want their kids to have their besties there. I'd be pissed too. I think you are a bit rude and thoughtless and self-absorbed for saying this to her.

[Anonymous]

We are always extra careful before traveling. Just like OP, we are limited with our money and time for vacations.

We did this pre-Covid too.

Even “just a cold” can disrupt a vacation, especially when days are planned. And worse if a parent has a cold and still has to be “on” to go to Amusement Park and get meals.

My friend taught us this. So no, OP not the only one.

Anyone who gives you grief for how you manage your family is not a decent person.

[Anonymous]

We don't because we have to work. I don't have enough vacation time to take a week off and keep kids out of school/camp/daycare BEFORE a trip. That said, we have missed multiple trips, from our first post-covid vacation last year (when we got covid from daycare), to a local group camping trip this weekend (we have a stomach bug from day care). I mean, it would be nice to not miss out on plans I'd actually enjoy so I can make someone else money, but that's were we are.

[Anonymous]

We always try to be careful but if your kids are n school it is silly. How are you middle class? Middle class don’t take expensive vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always try to be careful but if your kids are n school it is silly. How are you middle class? Middle class don’t take expensive vacations.

It’s summer. Kids are out of school for those with WFH or SAH parents. Sure you can’t eliminate everything but it’s a heck of a lot less exposure than usual.

[Anonymous]

This spring we traveled to Europe to attend a bucket list kind of event that we'd been looking forward to for a long time. While we didn't limit school or work beforehand, we did wear masks in the airport and on the plane on the way there. We just didn't want to catch something and risk missing the very expensive event. We didn't wear masks on the way home.

I agree with PP that you should have just said "we have a conflict." But it's also weird that this person is not speaking to you over this...yikes. I would've been like "OK, bummer" and moved on with my life. Her reaction says more about her than your personal choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the only one and it is weird

This. I don’t know anyone doing this after 2020.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are bat$hit crazy.

You must not have ever had a stomach virus ruin a vacation. Friend of mine drove the family 7 hours, checked into the hotel, child starts vomiting an hour later. Everyone went down in dominos. They spent the entire trip in the room to just go home after they were well enough to drive. Nightmare!

DP and you sound paranoid. This has happened to us more than once. We got it on vacation, at the resort. It’s horrible but happens. Do you isolate once you get to your vacation too?