How to be Petty - SIL Advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your SIL doesn’t actually want to visit and is being difficult because she thinks you are somehow making her visit, when in reality she is being manipulated by her mother.

Dollars to donuts, I’d bet your MIL/FIL is telling your SIL she is invited and has to visit and then your SIL is cranky about crappy accommodations.

Have your DH text your MIL, FIL, and SIL on the same text chain and say he didn’t invite SIL and there’s no room for SIL, she can stay at a hotel if she’d like, but the two of you aren’t hosting her.

Don't you or your DH say any of that. Just say you can't make any specific accommodations and if she needs more it's better she book a hotel

OP here - already offered the hotel route. MIL arrived this week and when we picked her up from the airport we suggested a hotel and provided info on coworking spaces. Obviously this was not good enough as my MIL has spent today rearranging my office to make space for my SIL. My DH has no relationship with this sister - 8 year age gap - and she is 0 factor in his military career. DH left home at 18 and has never lived closer than 1500 miles to home. SIL interloping on our family events has gotten markedly worse the older she gets. We only see ILs once or twice a year. I just got some good wine and chocolate that I am hiding.

Why’d you let your MIL rearrange your office? That is a heck no from me.

[Anonymous]

For me, it is just too difficult to take the side of a woman who judges another woman’s value based on whether she’s married or ever will be. As always, there are two sides to this story.

[Anonymous]

You cannot control others, especially by being petty, it will just backfire. Being petty probably got you here. So start by not being petty, be kind and generous and treat your guests how you’d want to be treated. I highly doubt you’ll take this advice, you seem too dug in. Nobody cares, really, but you are setting a bad example for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your SIL doesn’t actually want to visit and is being difficult because she thinks you are somehow making her visit, when in reality she is being manipulated by her mother.

Dollars to donuts, I’d bet your MIL/FIL is telling your SIL she is invited and has to visit and then your SIL is cranky about crappy accommodations.

Have your DH text your MIL, FIL, and SIL on the same text chain and say he didn’t invite SIL and there’s no room for SIL, she can stay at a hotel if she’d like, but the two of you aren’t hosting her.

Don't you or your DH say any of that. Just say you can't make any specific accommodations and if she needs more it's better she book a hotel

OP here - already offered the hotel route. MIL arrived this week and when we picked her up from the airport we suggested a hotel and provided info on coworking spaces. Obviously this was not good enough as my MIL has spent today rearranging my office to make space for my SIL. My DH has no relationship with this sister - 8 year age gap - and she is 0 factor in his military career. DH left home at 18 and has never lived closer than 1500 miles to home. SIL interloping on our family events has gotten markedly worse the older she gets. We only see ILs once or twice a year. I just got some good wine and chocolate that I am hiding.

Why’d you let your MIL rearrange your office? That is a heck no from me.

I have close relationships with siblings who are 8 and 12 years apart from me so she isn't the issue.
It's also weird that you frame it as interloping.
She's family why wouldn't she want to celebrate her brother and her niece's accomplishments. And generally people do become more family oriented as they get older.
Also your mil rearranging furniture is on her and on you and dh to stop it if it really is a big issue.
You just hate your SIL for some bizzare reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, it is just too difficult to take the side of a woman who judges another woman’s value based on whether she’s married or ever will be. As always, there are two sides to this story.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, it is just too difficult to take the side of a woman who judges another woman’s value based on whether she’s married or ever will be. As always, there are two sides to this story.

Sure, two sides and all but whose having their office rearranged and home life recentered on an uninvited guest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your SIL doesn’t actually want to visit and is being difficult because she thinks you are somehow making her visit, when in reality she is being manipulated by her mother.

Dollars to donuts, I’d bet your MIL/FIL is telling your SIL she is invited and has to visit and then your SIL is cranky about crappy accommodations.

Have your DH text your MIL, FIL, and SIL on the same text chain and say he didn’t invite SIL and there’s no room for SIL, she can stay at a hotel if she’d like, but the two of you aren’t hosting her.

Don't you or your DH say any of that. Just say you can't make any specific accommodations and if she needs more it's better she book a hotel

OP here - already offered the hotel route. MIL arrived this week and when we picked her up from the airport we suggested a hotel and provided info on coworking spaces. Obviously this was not good enough as my MIL has spent today rearranging my office to make space for my SIL. My DH has no relationship with this sister - 8 year age gap - and she is 0 factor in his military career. DH left home at 18 and has never lived closer than 1500 miles to home. SIL interloping on our family events has gotten markedly worse the older she gets. We only see ILs once or twice a year. I just got some good wine and chocolate that I am hiding.

Good for you, OP. I couldnt get on board with choosing this significant time for this battle. But hiding wine and chocolate is an excellent plan. I hope you enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

OP, just hide in your bedroom eating your Hershey bars and drinking your Sutter Home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, it is just too difficult to take the side of a woman who judges another woman’s value based on whether she’s married or ever will be. As always, there are two sides to this story.

It's Op's home, it's Op's husband special event, Op and her husband have suggested a hotel and even researched the hotels that had dedicated office work areas.

MIL is being a pill and is the one creating the issue. If she treated her children fairly and as equals she would see that she is imposing upon Op and her family to accommodate the SIL.

My guess is, the SIL tried to say "Mom, I would love to go but I have to work remotely and Brother's house is way too noisy and chaotic for me to do that." But MIL insisted that SIL come along and has pestered Op into allowing this visit and has even gone so far as to rearrange Op's office for the SIL's use.

***Plumbing issue. If you have to use some of that fart spray to make it realistic, use it. They need to go to a hotel.***

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your SIL doesn’t actually want to visit and is being difficult because she thinks you are somehow making her visit, when in reality she is being manipulated by her mother.

Dollars to donuts, I’d bet your MIL/FIL is telling your SIL she is invited and has to visit and then your SIL is cranky about crappy accommodations.

Have your DH text your MIL, FIL, and SIL on the same text chain and say he didn’t invite SIL and there’s no room for SIL, she can stay at a hotel if she’d like, but the two of you aren’t hosting her.

Don't you or your DH say any of that. Just say you can't make any specific accommodations and if she needs more it's better she book a hotel

OP here - already offered the hotel route. MIL arrived this week and when we picked her up from the airport we suggested a hotel and provided info on coworking spaces. Obviously this was not good enough as my MIL has spent today rearranging my office to make space for my SIL. My DH has no relationship with this sister - 8 year age gap - and she is 0 factor in his military career. DH left home at 18 and has never lived closer than 1500 miles to home. SIL interloping on our family events has gotten markedly worse the older she gets. We only see ILs once or twice a year. I just got some good wine and chocolate that I am hiding.

Ask your DH to ask his MIL why she always drags poor SIL along like a puppy dog. My guess - his mom wants to play pretend happy family. And he can ask his SIL why she likes being dragged around like a puppy dog.

It might be that MIL guilts SIL into living at home and then feels guilty for doing that and tries to fix it by bringing SIL on these trips

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your SIL doesn’t actually want to visit and is being difficult because she thinks you are somehow making her visit, when in reality she is being manipulated by her mother.

Dollars to donuts, I’d bet your MIL/FIL is telling your SIL she is invited and has to visit and then your SIL is cranky about crappy accommodations.

Have your DH text your MIL, FIL, and SIL on the same text chain and say he didn’t invite SIL and there’s no room for SIL, she can stay at a hotel if she’d like, but the two of you aren’t hosting her.

Don't you or your DH say any of that. Just say you can't make any specific accommodations and if she needs more it's better she book a hotel

OP here - already offered the hotel route. MIL arrived this week and when we picked her up from the airport we suggested a hotel and provided info on coworking spaces. Obviously this was not good enough as my MIL has spent today rearranging my office to make space for my SIL. My DH has no relationship with this sister - 8 year age gap - and she is 0 factor in his military career. DH left home at 18 and has never lived closer than 1500 miles to home. SIL interloping on our family events has gotten markedly worse the older she gets. We only see ILs once or twice a year. I just got some good wine and chocolate that I am hiding.

Then you are too pathetic to help. I hope you have a miserable time, you deserve it. No one—but no one—stays overnight in my home uninvited. They wouldn’t cross the threshold. You are a doormat, but don’t complain: you are the one who laid down. Weak people deserve to be kicked around. Grow a spine.

Family members don’t count for “invites.” When you invite my parents, I’m allowed to come along too.

[Anonymous]

You are horrible to your SIL. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your SIL doesn’t actually want to visit and is being difficult because she thinks you are somehow making her visit, when in reality she is being manipulated by her mother.

Dollars to donuts, I’d bet your MIL/FIL is telling your SIL she is invited and has to visit and then your SIL is cranky about crappy accommodations.

Have your DH text your MIL, FIL, and SIL on the same text chain and say he didn’t invite SIL and there’s no room for SIL, she can stay at a hotel if she’d like, but the two of you aren’t hosting her.

Don't you or your DH say any of that. Just say you can't make any specific accommodations and if she needs more it's better she book a hotel

OP here - already offered the hotel route. MIL arrived this week and when we picked her up from the airport we suggested a hotel and provided info on coworking spaces. Obviously this was not good enough as my MIL has spent today rearranging my office to make space for my SIL. My DH has no relationship with this sister - 8 year age gap - and she is 0 factor in his military career. DH left home at 18 and has never lived closer than 1500 miles to home. SIL interloping on our family events has gotten markedly worse the older she gets. We only see ILs once or twice a year. I just got some good wine and chocolate that I am hiding.

Then you are too pathetic to help. I hope you have a miserable time, you deserve it. No one—but no one—stays overnight in my home uninvited. They wouldn’t cross the threshold. You are a doormat, but don’t complain: you are the one who laid down. Weak people deserve to be kicked around. Grow a spine.

Family members don’t count for “invites.” When you invite my parents, I’m allowed to come along too.

Hahaha, stunted spinster/sullen teenager. Nope! When I invite people to my house, it is grown, independent, fully functional adults only. No clingers, no arrested development losers. You aren’t invited to my house and never will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it is just too difficult to take the side of a woman who judges another woman’s value based on whether she’s married or ever will be. As always, there are two sides to this story.

It's Op's home, it's Op's husband special event, Op and her husband have suggested a hotel and even researched the hotels that had dedicated office work areas.

MIL is being a pill and is the one creating the issue. If she treated her children fairly and as equals she would see that she is imposing upon Op and her family to accommodate the SIL.

My guess is, the SIL tried to say "Mom, I would love to go but I have to work remotely and Brother's house is way too noisy and chaotic for me to do that." But MIL insisted that SIL come along and has pestered Op into allowing this visit and has even gone so far as to rearrange Op's office for the SIL's use.

***Plumbing issue. If you have to use some of that fart spray to make it realistic, use it. They need to go to a hotel.***

Who are the pathetic people that come up with these dumbass stories/excuses for an OP to use?

[Anonymous]

Jodie sweetin teaches painting classes ?