Who is the jerk in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Lilly has a chip on her shoulder and is in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Megan is at her friend Lilly's house. Lilly and the housekeeper were gathering up large bags of trash, emptying out the fridge. Megan made the comment, "Wow, the amount of food you toss out could feed by village back home for a week". Lilly said to her, "Well, you're more than welcome to pack this up and send it to them if that will make you feel superior".

Who was the jerk here?

Wasteful people who have zero self awareness are always the jerk. Her response was defensive bc she knows she is a wasteful a-hole. Megan was not wrong. People don't like to have their sh-- pointed out to them. Instead of acknowledging or looking inward, they last.

Lilly was the jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Definitely Megan. It’s entirely possible to have thoughts without expressing them. What goodwill or pleasant outcome did she expect from this interaction? She is not morally superior because she comes from a poor village.

Nah. That let's Lilly off the hook and she shouldn't be. Her transgressions are far worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Megan is at her friend Lilly's house. Lilly and the housekeeper were gathering up large bags of trash, emptying out the fridge. Megan made the comment, "Wow, the amount of food you toss out could feed by village back home for a week". Lilly said to her, "Well, you're more than welcome to pack this up and send it to them if that will make you feel superior".

Who was the jerk here?

Wasteful people who have zero self awareness are always the jerk. Her response was defensive bc she knows she is a wasteful a-hole. Megan was not wrong. People don't like to have their sh-- pointed out to them. Instead of acknowledging or looking inward, they last.

Lilly was the jerk.

Agree, and I think it's especially obnoxious if Lilly knows Megan comes from a country with a lot of poverty, and especially if Lilly knows Megan herself once lived in poverty.

Just own up. "Yes, it's so wasteful. I'd love a better system for making sure food doesn't go bad like this."

Also, I don't actually think Megan was acting "superior." She was making a TRUE observation. What kind of friendship do these women have if Megan isn't even allowed to say something true and correct?

Lilly needs to grow up and take responsibility for her actions. If I were Megan, I'd decline the next invite to her house and spend time with friends who aren't so thin-skinned.

[Anonymous]

People (Megan) offering unsolicited, judgmental opinions about things their friends do that have no impact on them shouldn't be surprised when there's a clap back (Lily).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Megan was just making a comment about the amount of food - but came across as judgy. Lilly called her out with the superior comment.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why is Lilly making her housekeeper clean the fridge? If you want your housekeeper to do a one-time, special clean, or move-out clean, you prep it by deciding and tossing items yourself, on your own time. Then the housekeeper cleans without interference.

Lilly sounds like a PITA and I'm sure her housekeeper hates her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People (Megan) offering unsolicited, judgmental opinions about things their friends do that have no impact on them shouldn't be surprised when there's a clap back (Lily).

The question isn't whether to expect "clap back" but who was the bigger jerk. A self-indulgent, wasteful person, who is incapable of acknowledging the same, is def. the bigger jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People (Megan) offering unsolicited, judgmental opinions about things their friends do that have no impact on them shouldn't be surprised when there's a clap back (Lily).

If I thought Megan's comment was unnecessarily judgmental, I would agree. If Megan had made a comment about Lilly's parenting, weight, finances, alcohol intake, etc., I'd agree.

But I think there is something gross about watching someone throw out all the food in their fridge, and that Lilly invited commentary by doing this in front of a house guest, especially one from a poor background. Lilly lacks self awareness and Megan's comment should have elicited that, not a "clap back."

[Anonymous]

meghan

[Anonymous]

Why is Lilly having a guest over when she is cleaning and continues to clean when a guest arrives?
Why is Meghan making idiotic unnecessary comments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Megan is at her friend Lilly's house. Lilly and the housekeeper were gathering up large bags of trash, emptying out the fridge. Megan made the comment, "Wow, the amount of food you toss out could feed by village back home for a week". Lilly said to her, "Well, you're more than welcome to pack this up and send it to them if that will make you feel superior".

Who was the jerk here?

Is this supposed to be “my”? As in Megan is from a village where food is scarce? If the scenario is that Megan is from a village in Uzbekistan where food is scarce, and made the comment in seriousness, then Lilly is the jerk.

Meghan is free to donate her salary to the village in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (Megan) offering unsolicited, judgmental opinions about things their friends do that have no impact on them shouldn't be surprised when there's a clap back (Lily).

If I thought Megan's comment was unnecessarily judgmental, I would agree. If Megan had made a comment about Lilly's parenting, weight, finances, alcohol intake, etc., I'd agree.

But I think there is something gross about watching someone throw out all the food in their fridge, and that Lilly invited commentary by doing this in front of a house guest, especially one from a poor background. Lilly lacks self awareness and Megan's comment should have elicited that, not a "clap back."

Meghan is rude. Period. You don’t walk into someone’s home and make nasty comments and expect them not to retort in the same vein.

[Anonymous]

I vote Megan.

[Anonymous]

It’s not Megan’s food, why does she care?