Not ready for kids - help me feel ok about this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your adult child had kids at a point in their life when you didn’t think they were ready - e.g., too young, too unstable, etc. - how have things turned out?

My niece just announced. Unwed. Not in a stable relationship, though the father is currently in her life. (He’s the more stable of the two.) No college and no career.

We’re all trying to be happy for them but also pretty worried.

I would take her straight to the nearest Planned Parenthood obviously.

[Anonymous]

She iscbuying into a hard life. He can share statistics with her, but it is unlikely to make a difference

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your adult child had kids at a point in their life when you didn’t think they were ready - e.g., too young, too unstable, etc. - how have things turned out?

My niece just announced. Unwed. Not in a stable relationship, though the father is currently in her life. (He’s the more stable of the two.) No college and no career.

We’re all trying to be happy for them but also pretty worried.[/quote]

I would take her straight to the nearest Planned Parenthood obviously.[/quote]

"Pro-choice" refers to the pregnant person, not their parents.

[Anonymous]

It's not even your kid, why do you care? I know exactly what I'd do if it were my kid. But, if it were my niece, I wouldn't care, it's not my problem.

[Anonymous]

Because when kids have kids they burden the family. I’ve raised my kids and I be dammed if I raise anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because when kids have kids they burden the family. I’ve raised my kids and I be dammed if I raise anymore.

They burden the aunts & uncles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is there to feel ok about? You’re not the parent.

Op here. My brother is pretty traditional and quite upset. I’m hoping to have some stories of positive outcomes to share to help him see that this isn’t an automatic disaster. OTOH, I get why he’s worried.

You won't be able to manage his feelings. Just accept that he may very well be upset and unsupportive for a very very long time. All you can control is how available you are for your niece. Good luck to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your adult child had kids at a point in their life when you didn’t think they were ready - e.g., too young, too unstable, etc. - how have things turned out?

My niece just announced. Unwed. Not in a stable relationship, though the father is currently in her life. (He’s the more stable of the two.) No college and no career.

We’re all trying to be happy for them but also pretty worried.

I would take her straight to the nearest Planned Parenthood obviously.

For an ice cream cone? LOL the delusion in thinking you could make someone have an abortion just because you personally think having a baby is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your adult child had kids at a point in their life when you didn’t think they were ready - e.g., too young, too unstable, etc. - how have things turned out?

My niece just announced. Unwed. Not in a stable relationship, though the father is currently in her life. (He’s the more stable of the two.) No college and no career.

We’re all trying to be happy for them but also pretty worried.

I would take her straight to the nearest Planned Parenthood obviously.

For an ice cream cone? LOL the delusion in thinking you could make someone have an abortion just because you personally think having a baby is a bad idea.

Nope, because I don’t want to end up being the raising it, which would inevitable in a scenario like OP described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your adult child had kids at a point in their life when you didn’t think they were ready - e.g., too young, too unstable, etc. - how have things turned out?

My niece just announced. Unwed. Not in a stable relationship, though the father is currently in her life. (He’s the more stable of the two.) No college and no career.

We’re all trying to be happy for them but also pretty worried.

I would take her straight to the nearest Planned Parenthood obviously.

For an ice cream cone? LOL the delusion in thinking you could make someone have an abortion just because you personally think having a baby is a bad idea.

Nope, because I don’t want to end up being the raising it, which would inevitable in a scenario like OP described.

Nobody can be forced to raise a relative's child, just like nobody can be forced to terminate.

[Anonymous]

Ohh man, this tore my family apart. My parents eventually divorced because of it. My sister was the one who had the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ohh man, this tore my family apart. My parents eventually divorced because of it. My sister was the one who had the baby.

How did your sister having a child cause your parents to divorce?

[Anonymous]

The FIRST thing I would ask is, “What’s your plan?” She has choices: keep, don’t keep or adoption. The mother must own her options. As for the OP, you offer support of her decision.

[Anonymous]

I would not be happy for them. Having a child should be an adult decision, and she doesn’t sound like a functioning adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ohh man, this tore my family apart. My parents eventually divorced because of it. My sister was the one who had the baby.

How did your sister having a child cause your parents to divorce?

Don’t be obtuse. She had a child when she was in the same position as OP’s niece (no college, no career, no money). She and her child were completely dependent on my parents.