Religious people who have affairs

[Anonymous]

Show me a group of people, and I will find some in it who are morons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they justify it or live with the hypocrisy? SIL studies the Bible and goes to mass every week but cheated. Not just once but long term. Besides the family being floored when we found out, I’m genuinely curious how she or anyone with a faith-based life reconciles that.

I don’t think you can square it away. I come from a long line of people who are/ were religious with long marriages. There are allegedly many reports of unhappy long marriages but my parents and my in laws both expressed satisfaction they worked through their problems and remained loyal. Data shows that people who are married and belong to faith communities are generally happier. But it is hard work and many cultural influences undermine both faith and loyalty.

It is a different matter if one spouse is being abused in any way -/ but even then, married people of faith and integrity should end their destructive unions before starting anything new.

I think there are probably many different reasons why why people of faith cheat.
Compartmentalization
Denial of problems in marriage that need therapy
Lack of commitment to promises made
Prior agreement that marriage would be open (most religions do not condone this but some may allow it in good conscience)
Myriad reasons I am not familiar with off hand that are as personal as individuals.

We are all human and we are all tempted. However, that does not justify breaking vows.

No married person has ever improved their character, family, marriage, or relationship with their spouse by lying to them and sneaking around having sex with other people.

What do non-religious people think about affairs?

Non-religious people are not a monolith, any more than religious people are, so their thoughts about affairs will vary. One difference: while nonreligious people may feel guilt about an affair, they won't worry about going to hell because of it.

[Anonymous]

OP. I do wonder if somehow confession and absolution (not completely clear on what latter covers) made it easier to resolve any guilt each week more than not going through that and could have resulted it it lasting so long. I’ll never know but have been thinking about it. They don’t live near me so I don’t have to face her any time soon luckily. Never saw brother cry before but will leave a lasting. impression.

[Anonymous]

Some people don't justify it. Only God can forgive. She's still a work in progress, etc.

It shows that being religious doesn't make you any different or better than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I do wonder if somehow confession and absolution (not completely clear on what latter covers) made it easier to resolve any guilt each week more than not going through that and could have resulted it it lasting so long. I’ll never know but have been thinking about it. They don’t live near me so I don’t have to face her any time soon luckily. Never saw brother cry before but will leave a lasting. impression.

It could be that you're over-emphasizing the effect of her religion on her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I do wonder if somehow confession and absolution (not completely clear on what latter covers) made it easier to resolve any guilt each week more than not going through that and could have resulted it it lasting so long. I’ll never know but have been thinking about it. They don’t live near me so I don’t have to face her any time soon luckily. Never saw brother cry before but will leave a lasting. impression.

Absolution means being absolved from your sins - once you say your penance and go to holy communion you are free from sin, until you sin again.

Maybe it would make her feel better about herself, but surely the priest would advise her not to commit adultery again. I know people who would go to different priests for confession, to avoid being chastised for committing the same sin over and over again.

Sounds like you put too much stock in thinking that being Catholic would have a good effect on her behavior. Remember all those predator priests. They're much worse than your SIL

[Anonymous]

catholics in name only
seen this and much more over the years.
they may have religion but have no moral compass or spirituality. It's like they have a demon embedded that feels no guilt.
I feel sorry for those CINOs. They are about to experience some truths so hard they may not recover.
It's not their fault really. We were sold sin and told it was freedom. We were and still are brainwashed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:catholics in name only
seen this and much more over the years.
they may have religion but have no moral compass or spirituality. It's like they have a demon embedded that feels no guilt.
I feel sorry for those CINOs. They are about to experience some truths so hard they may not recover.
It's not their fault really. We were sold sin and told it was freedom. We were and still are brainwashed.

Sounds like human nature to me and not something unique to catholics or any particular religion

[Anonymous]

Love it Bible thumping hypocrisy

Let’s see just yesterday it came out that the lead Tennessee repuke who is a racist cheating on his wife

And another Bible thumping minister who abused kids in texas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't justify it. Only God can forgive. She's still a work in progress, etc.

It shows that being religious doesn't make you any different or better than anyone else.

My religion teaches me that all men/women are created equal…and all sinners, too. Religious people are not better or worse than non-religious people. Religion doesn’t save you. Religion does not make any person perfect. Going to church doesn’t make you sinless.

In Christianity, Jesus took our sin onto himself and died to redeem us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love it Bible thumping hypocrisy

Let’s see just yesterday it came out that the lead Tennessee repuke who is a racist cheating on his wife

And another Bible thumping minister who abused kids in texas

As awful as those people are, you don’t sound like someone I’d want to be friends with.

[Anonymous]

I know of one person who married the wrong person @ 20 due to religion. Had affair, then left church and marriage while still in her twenties. I think she will always struggle with what she did and she’s much harder on herself than anyone else was on her. I think men can compartmentalism and rationalize it away and live a double life (religious family man while having affairs) not easily than women.

[Anonymous]

* more easily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love it Bible thumping hypocrisy

Let’s see just yesterday it came out that the lead Tennessee repuke who is a racist cheating on his wife

And another Bible thumping minister who abused kids in texas

As awful as those people are, you don’t sound like someone I’d want to be friends with.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't justify it. Only God can forgive. She's still a work in progress, etc.

It shows that being religious doesn't make you any different or better than anyone else.

My religion teaches me that all men/women are created equal…and all sinners, too. Religious people are not better or worse than non-religious people. Religion doesn’t save you. Religion does not make any person perfect. Going to church doesn’t make you sinless.

In Christianity, Jesus took our sin onto himself and died to redeem us.

Yes, but - sounds like a cop out to me. Believe in Jesus, but ignore his rules and the rules of society when it doesn't suit you. Using "We're all sinners" as an excuse to sin.